Craving You Chapter 19
AN: Guess what ya’ll, it’s the last chapter of Craving you. I am so sad this is the end, but it was a great story and I’m so glad you all stuck around to see it through. I was thinking of some drabbles to go with it, like the in betweens and the down times they had. So if you like to see that, comment below and let me know what you’d to see. Also, I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who had help me beta this story over the period of time. without them I couldnt have done it without them. You are amazing and talented writers yourself and i am thankful I have came across you. @secretlyfurrydragon Thank you so much for helping me with this and to complete it, you have been an amazing friend and I appreciate your help even when your sick. Keep in mind this is an AU meaning nothing related to the real Supernatural, Please don’t copy and use on other sites and claim them as yours. It’s not right. A huge thank you to the followers who have loved this story as well. I love each and everyone one of you. Let me know what you would like to see next.. Love ya’ll
Pairing: Jensen and Reader, Misha Collins (mentioned) Jo OFC, Adam (OFM) Mentioned.
Warnings, Medical stuff I have no clue on but I hope it works. Yelling and angst, upset jensen, upset reader, upset Jo, sad writer because i’m sad its the end.
Jensen’s POV
I sat in the back of the ambulance with her on the way to the hospital holding her hand, begging her to fight. The EMT which I found out later was named Adam, told me to keep talking to her, let her know I was there and that she was out of danger. I’m not sure if it was the sound of my voice or what happened, but they had to pull over to do CPR on her. She almost gave up on me twice. My heart pounded in my ears both times, I had to take several deep breaths before my heart settled, I can’t lose her not now. I know she’s going to be very pissed because I lied to her about my life and who I was, there was no telling what was going through her head when Mark had the nerve to tell her about who I was. I just sat there and prayed to God that she would forgive me.
Arriving at the hospital, they rushed her immediately into surgery, I tried to go in there as well, but they wouldn’t let me. A nurse about 20 years old I’m guessing, could be older I don’t my brain is not exactly coherent right now. Anyway, she led me to a room and handed me a pair of scrubs to change into. I’m sure I looked horrifying from all her blood and my jeans were covered in it from the knees down. I really didn’t care, but I guess they figured it would be better than having me walk around looking like I was injured. I changed into the much welcome and clean scrubs and then made my way to the waiting room where everyone else was. I couldn’t stop thinking about how she looked lying on the ground covered in her blood. It send a shiver of horror down my spine to think she was in surgery now because I screwed up.
Jared comes over to me, taps my shoulder. “She’s a fighter Jay, she will be ok.”
I had my head down, I didn’t want to look at anyone or speak to anyone, or have them see me and pity me. I did this to her, I got her involved in this, it’s my fault she’s in there fighting for her life right now if she so still chooses to do so. I looked up at him, my face showing the pain and hurt I was feeling. “I hope so Jared, I can’t live without her. It’s my fault she’s hurt, I did this to her.” My voice was kind of raspy and sore, I didn’t care though.
“You did not do this to her Jay, you didn’t have the gun that shot her. You didn’t know she was going to work out a plan with Kali, I mean Kali of all people should have known not to even involve a civilian, but on the other hand, I’m sure Y/N would have done anything anyway to help free everyone. I’m just sorry she got caught in the crossfire.”
I walked over to the window, crossed my arms and looked out. I didn’t really want to speak to anyone, I was so angry with myself for this whole thing. I just wanted her back in my arms happy and smiling as if nothing in the world mattered. I bit my bottom lip and looked at Jared. “I should have protected her better, this is on me. I did this to her. She could die because of me, or she may want give up because now she knows the truth. She may even leave me because she hates it when people lie to her, and she has told me many times before. And what did I do? I lied to her about who I was and what I did.”
“You had to Jensen, it isn’t a question of morality or honestly. You had a job to do, you didn’t expect to fall in love with her, we never do in cases like this. Your heart is hurting right now and rightfully so, but you will see that it will be ok. She will be upset, yes. But she will eventually get over it, because you not only been there for her, you saved the company.”
I rolled my eyes, “Jared it cost me the one thing I care about in the process. She’ll never trust me again, hell I’ll be lucky if she even speaks to me when she wakes up. No telling what Jo is going to do to me when she gets here.”
“Jo? What would Jo have anything to do with this?” He looked confused.
“She’s her best friend, Jeff’s wife is her fucking best friend and she’s going to be pissed because I hurt her, she was part of this to. She knew this would eventually happen word getting out about my job, she told me that I hurt her, she’ll kill me.”
“That doesn’t matter Jay, she was in on this from the beginning she could have at least told her everything as well. She can’t blame you for this, I won't let her. Just calm down, it’ll be ok.”
“Yeah if you say so,” I looked up seeing a doctor come in the room cover in blood. My heart dropped seeing his face. “How’s Y/N?” Was my first question, not even if he was there for us.
He took a deep breath, “She’s in surgery, the bullet is lodged in her shoulder, we have a team that is assisting on the surgery, if any of you can donate blood to help what she lost, it would be a great help. The next 48 hours are very critical for her due to her condition. If you know any of her family that need to be called in, please get them here as soon as possible.”
He went on explaining in detail what had happened, but in my mind I heard nothing. It was blank especially when he said said next 48 hours. I think my heart stopped, I felt like I wanted to pass out. If it wasn’t for Jared behind me, I probably would have.
“Yes we will donate blood, where do we go?” I heard Jeff ask him.
“Follow me, and I’ll get you set up with some lab techs who will assist you.” He looked at me, “Are you her husband?”
I look at him flabbergasted because I was still in shock, “Uh, n... no boyfriend.”
He nodded, smiled and left to show us where to go so we can donate blood. I felt myself walking, but honestly I don’t know how. My body was there, but I was numb to everything around me. I didn't even feel the needle go in my arm, nor did I feel the band tighten my upper bicep. That’s how numb I was, completely numb. Y/N, has to be ok, she has to be.
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Reader’s POV,
I am not sure what happened, or where I was. My body felt like it was floating on clouds and I couldn’t move. I tried to even moisten my lips, but my throat felt like it had a thousand cotton swabs in it. I heard loud beeping noises above and over me, it made my head pound. That’s when I tried to lift my left arm to pinch the bridge of my nose to stop the pain, but I couldn’t move it. “H-help?” I managed to speak above a whisper hoping someone was there with me.
I heard rustling, like someone was trying to get out of blankets or something like that. “Y/N? Y/N? Baby, can you hear me?” His voice was soothing, angelic even, but I couldn’t recognize it right away. Why was he calling me baby?
I felt a dip on the right side of me, I’m guessing he was sitting next to me. He placed his left hand on my cheek, it was nice and warm. I was able to open my eyes, when I did I saw the most beautiful green eyes I ever seen in my life. I had to blink a couple of times though. “Hi, do I know you?” As looked at him in confusion. I didn’t mean to sound hurtful in any way because after I said that I saw his face drop.
He cleared his throat and removed his hand immediately, “You do, I’m your boyfriend, Jensen,” he whispered softly like it was hard to say.
Oh thank god, I said to myself. He’s one hell of a good looking man, thank you god for at least having something go right in my life.
He continued to tell me what happened. “You had a hard fall, so you may have a concussion. Do you remember anything?” His eyes were full of worry and red from lack of sleep, you can tell he hadn’t slept in days.
“I don’t remember much, my head is pounding like conga drums going wild on spring break,” I tried to smile but that didn’t help the pain.
The door to my room opened and a sort of familiar face stood there with coffee in both hands, I assume one for her and one for Jensen. “Y/N!” she hurriedly put the coffee’s down on the side table and gently hugged me. “Oh my god your awake! I have never been so scared in my life. Why didn’t you tell me she was awake?” she backhanded Jensen in the chest and looked back at me.
“She just woke up Jo, literally like three minutes ago,” he sounded upset about something I thought it might have been the hit, course I don’t blame him, I would to.
“You look incredible for someone whose been asleep for five days. How do you feel?” She kept asking questions after questions and wouldn't really give me a chance to open my mouth.
She kind of reminded me of a 4 year old who kept asking the why questions over and over. “I’m sorry, who are you and why did you hit Jensen like that?”
I saw her face go from excited to worry in almost 2.2 seconds as she looked back and forth from me to Jensen. “What? Is she serious? She seriously doesn't know who I am? Really Y/N? We have been through a bunch of crap together growing up and you don’t know who I am?” she turned to look at Jensen. “Is she for real?”
He nodded his head, “She doesn't remember me either, I had to tell her my name. She may have a concussion, I paged for the doctor to come in.”
And right on cue doctor comes in with such blue eyes they looked like the sky. “Hi, I’m happy to see you awake. I’m Dr. Collins. How are you feeling?”
“Ok, I guess. My head is pounding and I can’t move my left arm, and I really don’t know who they are,” as she points to Jensen and Jo, “but he is cute,” I looked at the green eyed man.
“I see, I will order a CT scan and see what’s going on. I was told you had hit your head on a concrete floor, so if that’s the case then it could be a concussion but we need to be sure it nothing else going on. How’s the pain, do you need anything to help with that?” he looked my eyes with a pen light.
“No, I’m ok for now. If I don’t make any sudden movements I’ll be ok,” I swallowed as my stomach made a loud rumbling noise and they all laughed.
“I’ll see about getting you something to eat, what do you think you could handle?”
I sighed, “Broccoli cheese soup?”
I saw the lady I came to know as Jo swell up with tears, I dunno why she would it’s just my favorite soup. “Ok, I’ll order you some,” he turned to look at them both and told them to step outside.
They left and I was in the room by myself, it felt weird like I was by myself and no one was going to be in here again. Did I say anything wrong? Do anything wrong? Why did they leave me? Tears swell up in my eyes, will I ever see the green eyed man again? I shook my head and it hurt as I cleared my thoughts.
They came back in and Jensen sat by my bed, he held my hand and looked at me. “Don’t worry Y/N everything will be ok, you may not know what happened or how you ended up here, but I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
Jo slapped his shoulder, she has a habit of doing that, I’m going to have to remind her to stop. “Like hell you will Jay, your the reason she’s in here. Don’t go acting all protective now, you know exactly what brought this on.”
He stood up to look at her and face her. ‘We both did this to her, not just me. You were in on this as well. So if you want to act all high and mighty about it, lay it on the line now. Tell her exactly what you said to me four months ago when you came to me, begging me to help. You want to really discuss this now?”
I looked at her not sure if I should say anything, just as I was about to, “Your such a fucking asshole, Jensen,” she rolled her eyes and left the room nearly knocking into the nurse bringing me my soup. Remind me when this is over or I get my memory back, to find out exactly what she told him. This is going to be very interesting.
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Four days later after I woke up, I was released. Thankfully, because hospitals suck and the beds are not comfortable. I eventually remembered everything and Dr. Collins said it was a delay in reactions to waking up after being out for nearly a week. My brain had to recover and remember slowly, it was a delay reaction to everything that happen. Hey, even brains need a day off who knew. I did have a slight concussion though but nothing too bad to keep me there any longer than I needed to be. I was furious when I remembered everything and I can’t wait to have a discussion with both Jensen and Jo and there involvement to this. But for now, I just want some time alone and think on what I’m going to say to them both.
“Are you sure your going to be ok? I can stay here you know?” Jo spoke after helping me inside.
I turned to look at her, “I’ll be fine, I am so upset with you both right now that I need to have a few days to calm down before I say something that I’ll regret. So both of you just leave me alone. I’m fine,” I said yelling at them. I looked at both her and Jensen sternly letting them know to leave now before the yelling continued.
Jo looked at me, “I’m not leaving you Y/N. You just got out of the hospital after being shot, and nearly died on us, you can’t stay in this apartment by yourself for who knows how long,” she stood there with her arms crossed.
I closed my eyes with a sigh, “I can clearly see you are not going to give me the peace and quiet I need, so, you want to talk, we’ll talk.” I sat down as they followed, I saw that Jensen was going to give me the time I needed. “Jensen can you please get me a bottle water out of the fridge?” I sat down in my most comfortable seat, it was old but it was what I needed.
Jensen went to grab a cold water from the fridge and came back and sat down on the couch next Jo. I looked at them both and held the water a moment. My left hand was still in a sling tied to my waist kind of like when you dislocate your shoulder. I can take it off if need be, in fact they told me to but I needed to relax it a bit. I looked at both Jo and Jensen, who were anxiously waiting to hear what I had to say..
“First off, I am so mad at you both. I can’t believe you both lied to me, you of all people know that I can’t stand people who lie to me. But yet you did, you told him to get close to me, to use me, to fall in love with me, to help save the company. You saw how close I was becoming to Jensen, yet you let it continue. You and Jeff, Jeff of all people. I’m pissed very pissed at you Jo, I’m hurt, it killed me when I remembered everything I wish to god I could forget, and you.”
I looked over at Jensen who had his head down as he couldn’t look at me after what he did. When I spoke directly at him he pulls his head up with tears in his eyes. He knew what was going to happen he just needed to hear the words. “I fell hard for you, here I thought wow this good looking handsome man is actually fallen in love with me. Me! I am a total no body, but yet I got lucky to be in the presence of you, I thought man I finally get to be with someone who loves me wholeheartedly and actually cared about me.” I had to stop a moment because tears were appearing in my eyes and my voice tremble with sob.
Jensen begged me to listen to him, “I’m sorry I love you,” but I stopped him as I wasn’t finished and I didn’t need to hear him tell me that I was so angry with them both I was barely holding myself together. My anger was the only think for keeping from collapsing in a heap and crying my heart out. It was broken shattered into pieces which I don’t think it can ever be fixed. How could they do this to me, me of all people they hurt me and the pain was unbearable but I had to finish what I had to say as I knew I wouldn’t last much longer.
”I can’t trust either you, both of you know the life I had. I knew it was too good to be true the day you walked into starbucks, had I known it was a set up I would never have spoken to you, god I’m so stupid, I am such a failure I didn’t even see it.” I saw him about to say something and I held my hand up to stop him. “Don’t…don’t sit there and think you can save us, in fact, I want both of you are out of my life. I’m hurting and I need time to deal with this, and then I’ll consider how things are after that. But until then, don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t even bother to come to my house and ask me how I’m doing. What I want right now, for the both of you to leave, and you can tell Jeff, I don’t appreciate his part in this either. I am leaving Vancouver, and no one will know where I am. So just forget I ever existed and leave.”
I stood up and went to my room hoping they got the hint to leave me alone. I can’t believe my best friend did this to me, she knew my life and now I can’t trust her, I have no one, this secret I have will now have to remain a secret. I was so happy to find out about it, but now I can’t even look at them in the face and feel that again. I can’t. I just won't let them know my secret, God help me, I need you so much right now. As I curl up on my bed and cry like there’s no tomorrow. I guess for me I have no tomorrow for the time been until I forgive them if I can?
Revised Edition for 2025
Chapter 23: Shattered Truths and Quiet Tomorrows
Jensen’s POV
I sat in the back of the ambulance holding her cold hand, trying to speak through a voice full of fear and guilt. The EMT, Adam, told me to keep talking. He said she needed to hear me, needed to know she wasn’t alone. But nothing I said stopped her vitals from crashing twice. Each time they pulled over to resuscitate her, it felt like my soul was leaving my body. I begged God—out loud, desperate. I’d never begged harder for anything in my life.
When we got to the hospital, they rushed her in. I couldn’t follow. A nurse handed me scrubs to change into because her blood soaked everything I wore. I went through the motions, numb. As I joined the others in the waiting room, Jared met me with a soft pat on the shoulder, trying to hold me together. But I didn’t want comfort. I wanted her awake. Safe. Smiling. Laughing.
When the surgeon came out, his coat splattered with blood, my heart stopped. The bullet had lodged in her shoulder, but she’d lost a lot of blood. He told us the next 48 hours were critical. I volunteered to donate immediately. I didn’t even feel the needle.
Reader’s POV
Waking up felt like rising through molasses. Everything was heavy, muffled. My throat was on fire, my head pounded, and I couldn’t move my arm. When I opened my eyes, the world was blurry until I saw him. Green eyes. Deep with grief and love.
“Hi... do I know you?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
I watched as his soul cracked in front of me. “You do... I’m your boyfriend. Jensen.”
The name meant nothing at first. But the way he looked at me—like I was his whole universe—planted a seed of familiarity. I couldn’t recall the past, but something in me trusted him.
Then Jo walked in. Overflowing energy, arms full of coffee, tears instantly forming in her eyes. I didn’t remember her either.
When they left to let the doctor run tests, I was left alone. The quiet was suffocating. I didn’t know who I was angry at—them for lying, or myself for not remembering the truth.
Four days later, I was discharged. Slowly, memories flooded back. Flashbacks. The cement floor. Blood. Screams. And betrayal. The day they came to my apartment, I was already boiling inside. The pain had crystallized into white-hot rage.
I made them sit.
I confronted them.
Every word I spoke was edged in pain. “You lied. You played me. Both of you.”
Jo looked away, ashamed. Jensen stared at the floor like it might open up and swallow him whole.
“You let me believe you loved me—when you were just playing a part. And Jo, you knew! You let him walk into my life with a lie and didn’t stop it. You two destroyed the one good thing I thought I had.”
Jensen opened his mouth to speak, to plead, to explain—but I stopped him.
“Save it. Whatever this was... it’s over.”
I told them to leave. I made them promise not to call. Not to text. To disappear. Jo tried to argue. Jensen didn’t. He knew. The look in his eyes was pure heartbreak. But he left.
And I broke.
Curled on my bed, I sobbed harder than I ever had in my life. Because I loved him. God help me, I loved him so much. And maybe I still did. But for now, I needed space. Time. Healing.
The secrets I still carried—the ones no one knew—would stay buried. I wasn’t ready to share them. Not with people who had already broken me.
And yet... somewhere deep in my soul, I wondered: could love survive a lie this big?
I didn’t know.
But one day, I would find out.
Revised Edition for 2025
Epilogue
Y/N Pov “Letters from the Edge”
— Six Months Later —
The rain fell softly on the streets of Edinburgh, a gentle mist that clung to the stone and wrapped the city in a timeless hush. Y/N stood at the edge of Princes Street Gardens, her long coat tied at the waist, a knitted scarf tucked beneath her collar. The weight of the past six months still clung to her, but here—half a world away from Vancouver—it finally felt like she could breathe again.
A leather-bound notebook was clutched to her chest, worn and creased at the edges. Pages filled with tears, therapy breakthroughs, quiet revelations, and questions she’d never dared to ask anyone but herself. Her hair danced in the wind, and her eyes, though tired, held a steadier kind of light. Healing had taken time—grief had taken more.
She hadn’t spoken to Jo since the day she walked out. Nor to Jensen.
Not until last week.
A package had arrived—unmarked, wrapped in brown paper and sealed with a single black ribbon. Inside was a small flash drive and a note, handwritten in Jensen’s familiar scrawl:
“No begging. No apologies. Just my truth. If you ever want to understand why I lied—why I stayed—I’m here. If not, I’ll disappear. But you deserve to know everything.”
Love, always — J.
She hadn’t plugged it in right away. It took her five days. But when she did, it opened to a single video file titled simply: "For You."
In it, Jensen sat in what looked like his Texas cabin. No dramatic lighting, no rehearsed lines—just him. Raw. Honest. His voice cracked as he spoke, tears in his eyes more than once. He told her the full truth—about the case, his orders, the timeline, how he never expected her, and how everything shifted the day she walked into that Starbucks with that camera bag slung across her shoulder and a latte in her hand.
"You saved me before I ever tried to save you," he had whispered at the end.
She watched it twice. Then again. And again.
Y/N wasn’t sure when the tears started—but they didn’t stop for hours. He hadn’t asked for forgiveness. He hadn’t made excuses. He just told the truth.
Now here she stood, six months and four thousand miles away from where it all began, holding the letter she had just finished writing. No address. No name. Just three words on the envelope:
“Come find me.”
Because maybe… just maybe, forgiveness wasn’t about forgetting. Maybe it was about seeing the truth—shattered, scarred, but still beating—and choosing to believe in it anyway.
She turned toward the post box. Her fingers trembled as she slid the letter in. And for the first time in a long time… She smiled.
Epilogue – Jensen’s POV
Back in Austin, Jensen sat alone on the front porch of his ranch, guitar in hand, the sun bleeding down behind the hills. A fresh scar lined his ribcage, a reminder of that final takedown. But the wound that still bled… was her.
He checked the mailbox every morning. And today—finally—there it was.
A white envelope with a single line in her handwriting: “Come find me.”
His lips parted. And for the first time in months—he let himself hope.
THE END (or is it?)
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