For those who like reading and are interested in my personal interest in urban exploring
Not to long ago I was asked what I get out of walking into these unknown abandoned spaces, and a few argue with the risk and claim there is nothing to see so why venture into a lifeless places. Since its summer vacation and I need a break from watching my favorite show arranged im gonna go on a spill out my feeling out on this keyboard. I get the feeling its gonna be long so thank you if you read this whole thing. Im gonna start with what sparked my interest. My mother once mentioned that a friend of hers couldn’t have kids because of the Chernobyl disaster. I found it interesting that a whole area was off limits because of what the air contained and the effects it had on a human body. Years later when I was older, I was flipping through some channels and stumbled on some show that predicted what would happen to earth if humans disappeared. I became automatically hooked and towards the end of the show, a reasonable explanation was given as to why they were so sure that this would happen, because it had already happened in Chernobyl. Since the disaster happened years before, radiation levels were low and only harmful if one stayed longer than maximum time given. The footage of Chernobyl was one of the most intriguing and beautiful places I’ve seen on tv because of what nature is destined to do, destroy man made land that once destroyed nature itself. I no longer wished to go to the sunny warm beaches in Hawaii or the lush rain forests in Ecuador. Chernobyl became my dream destination. Now, at the age of 16 the reality was I couldn’t even walk to the corner, let alone travel across the globe. Chernobyl still is a dream of mine I have yet to accomplish. As I got older I would read many articles about Chernobyl and found other places that were left for nature to take over. My question was always WHAT HAPPENED THAT PEOPLE NEEDED TO UP AND LEAVE SUCH A PLACE? I Constantly told my parents about these places and my dad of course with an open mind said he would travel with me and my mother would stay out saying that there was nothing to see in these ugly areas. It became an obsession of mine. My father took it upon himself to take baby steps with me. First place he took me to was the famous Linda Vista. One I never had the opportunity to see on the inside. But as a first timer the outside was just enough to feed my obsession. A year later my dad drove me to another famous place, Downey asylum. Luckily for my father and I the leaf blowers were there and we had the chance to take a small drive inside. I kid you not it was like blue balls because my dad refused to let me out of the car to climb these stairs. I never forgot the feeling of tasting the excitement of this place. As time went on and I grew older, I still did my research on places like these and could only dream of coming back. As much as it was an obsession there was also fear of the unknown.
Getting older also meant making the share of mistakes in life, and I dealt with something that had dragged me down for 3 years. I was so wrapped up in this toxic situation and I felt no way out, the only way out was taking away a huge part of my life I wasn’t sure I was ready to let go. I was so blind at the time I didn’t see how it affected me mentally and spiritually. I began hating myself and distancing myself away from people who cared for me. I stopped caring about my well being and began caring for something that wasn’t worth it. And just like that I lost myself during these three years. Luckily the situation worsen with time that reality slapped me in the face and I began to remember who I used to be and how much I was worth as a person. I was so much bigger and better than this situation going on and I was forced to leave on my own terms. It was by far one of the hardest things I’ve had to do for myself after 3 years. The easiest thing to do was to fall into back into that dark place because it was so familiar and confortable. But luckily I wasn’t stupid enough and was able realize logic and my worth and knew that the best decision was to familiarize myself with who I was before I let this happened. Like I mentioned it was one of the hardest things to do for myself but it was also one of the best. I personally would like to thank all of those who have helped me through this process, you guys know who you are and I cant thank God enough for putting you guys in my life at that stage I was in. Now leaving that situation meant that I needed to change my routine and devote myself to fixing me. I started working on things that had lost reason and started remembering what used to give me joy. Luckily for my bad situation came someone who was a business partner at first but ended up becoming a good friend of mine. As much as Curt had so much negativity happening , he didn’t let it bring him down as much as it would bring any human down. The day he needed my help he mentioned to me that I practically saved his life due to his current living situation. I simply decided to ask about his opinion on visiting the Downy Asylum through previous photographs he had taken of rotten buildings. Thank God for an open mind like his because everyone before him had shut down my invitation to go with me. My first official visit to the asylum was by far one of the scariest only because the sun was setting and I hate the dark. Curt wanted to stay but I refused because of what might wake up when the sun goes down. Not the best experience for a first time, but I was still determine to conquer my fear and feed my obsession. I became friends with one of Curts friends who was more familiar with spots like these. We took an hour ½ to find a very old military school, our trip failed due to same day boarding. I was pretty bummed but once again it fueled my obsession. Seeing as Curt was going to all these places with out me we both picked out a day to show me 2 spots, one of which I was so scared to get to only because of so much climbing and heights. Thank God for Patients right?
Nothing is better than accomplishing a hard entrance and walking into a beautiful scenario of ones imagination. It’s like going back in time or going into another realm. Your mind is in such a high trying to figure out who walked these same stairs your walking on, what emotions they felt, what conversations they had right next to you. Life happened and excised before the doors had closed for these locations to the public. People who had families and possibly jobs had walked the same path your walking on, the only difference was that there was life of others interacting with them. For instance, the car dealership had many desks and offices and I can only imagine the deals over a car that happened, the small details that these people may have had on their desks, like pictures of their family, or childhood figures. The prayers that went on during the church I went too, the religious sacred scriptures one possibly sang over with an angelic voice. The calls made over the phones that still remain un touched at the nursing homes at the asylum to the patients family members. A room was found of so many personal belongings like music records and old magazines. What is the explanation and reason that no one cared to take these belongings back or why is there an actual room of objects that have nothing to do with an asylum. A million questions go through my mind and a million more challenge my imagination. These were all real people like you and I, living a life similar to ours. I envy those who had the chance to walk these steps when there was actual life around. Behind those forbidden walls is reality and inside these walls is another dimension of forbidden entrance to reality. Sounds stupid like its from a stupid book, but that’s how it makes me feel. The question that always keeps my mind wondering is what emotions or actions did the last person legally walking the building or area felt when the closed the doors with the obvious reality of never opening them again to the public? My whole mind and is stimulated with so many scenarios and curiosity that I no longer felt the stress of finding myself. Not to say I found myself in these buildings but I for sure wasn’t depressed anymore and little by little the anger and hate I had began to lift because of how much doing this had opened my mind. That’s what urban exploring did for me and I’m so happy that I can bring others along and even if it effects one person the way it affected me I feel more accomplished than ever to let others feel what I feel. Curiosity saved me before it will ever get the chance to kill me.