#userbilbothorin

[lesbiankiliel]

bilbothorin replied to your post: turns out the url “lesbianmaureenbrown” was free^^...

A GOOD AND CANON URL

I KNOW

[brokebackmountain]

Being made in the image of God, man was the crown of creation.

[brokebackmountain]

Middle-Earth Meme - [1/3] Races - Hobbits

We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can't think what anybody sees in them.

[godricslumos]

tagged by @laufeysons, thanks love <3

rules: post 10 characters u would kiss and then tag 10 blogs

tony stark

harley quinn

thor

steve rogers

wanda maximoff

loki

elena gilbert

floyd lawton

sharon carter

diana prince

why the fuck only ten of them tho??? 

tagging: @bilbothorin, @usedupshiver, @mundanelion, @thesafesthands​,   @felicidysmoak, @fitzsimmvns, @sterolineforever, @lightneverfades

[mrsskinnypenis]

lowkey wanna make a network for not-straight malec fans. so like.?..?.?.?.?.? lms if you’d join??

[godricslumos]

tagged by @hanorganaas, thanks darling! <33 (btw it didn’t even show me you tagged me if i wasn’t stalking your blog i wouldn’t know lmao)

ANSWER THESE 10 QUESTIONS & TAG 10 BLOGS

Last movie you saw: focus (margot & will YAAAAS)

Last song you listened to: the pretty reckless - take me down

Last show you watched: daredevil

Last book you read: umm i think it was the gospel of loki my joanne harris?

Last thing you ate: toast with sliced tomatoes (it sounds gross but it’s literally the best thing ever)

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be: in bed ‘cause i’m tired af (thanks rainy weather)

When would you time travel to: either victorian england or like 10 years distant future

First thing you would do with lottery money: i’d just give half of it to my mum tbh

Fictional character you would hang out with for a day: either tony stark, thor or wanda maximoff

Time right now: 9:11pm (i can’t believe i’m so sleepy wtf)

tagging: @laufeysons - @bucknsteves - @bilbothorin - @lightneverfades - @mundanelion - @me-youhaveme - @usedupshiver

[scalira]

alright but could u indulge me in one of my favorite things... Fake Relationship™ trope with jeliorn?? (real verse or au verse or mundane au up to u)

THIS IS MY FAVORITE TROPE LISTEN!!!!! (it got really long again so im putting some under the read more cut)

Okay so this is gonna be about the AUverse so let’s start:

Jace is surrounded by people who think he’s the Straight Ally(TM)

like seriously, all of his friends are Not Straight and they often joke about Jace being the only Hetero in the group

Jace laughs along with it because honestly those jokes are harmless, but they also kinda make him uncomfortable bc being called straight just doesn’t sit right with him

he truly starts questioning his sexuality when these Straight Jokes continue and one day, without thinking about it he cuts Simon off mid Hetero-joke and blurts: “I have a boyfriend”

everyone is totally surprised and nobody saw it coming but ofc they’re really suportive and curious and want to meet this boyfriend ASAP

Jace freaks the fuck out because of course he doesn’t have a boyfriend and he’ll make himself look like a fool if he tells his friends that he lied about it 

so instead he rushes to Meliorn, who is a friend of Jace’ but not of the others (the squad hasn’t even met Meliorn so it’s perfect) and begs him to pretend to be his boyfriend

Meliorn agrees to do it with little to no explanation, saying that Jace always manages to get himself in these kind of situations and it’s his duty as a friend to help him survive

‘Seriously Wayland you’d be dead without me’

(little does Jace know that Meliorn was so quick to agree bc he’s dying to find out how Jace’ hand feels in his or if he’s a good kisser and if he’s a fan of PDA or not) 

so they work out a plan to synchronize their stories and end up deciding they met in the flower shop Meliorn works in (I blame @bilbothorin for this headcanon) when Jace was sent to get some flowers for a party Alec was planning

their first date was a really cheesy picnic and Jace walked Meliorn home afterwards and kissed him

‘speaking of which,’ Meliorn says when they’ve agreed on the story of their first date, ‘shouldn’t we kiss to practice? You know, you’ve never kissed a boy before. We can’t let that show when I meet your friends.’

‘Is kissing a boy really that different from kissing a girl?’

‘Trust me, it is.’

PRACTICE [RIPS OFF SHIRT] KISSING

Jace is really awkward at first and doesn’t know how to act or where to place his hands or where to look

Meliorn thinks it’s adorable but he also doesn’t want Jace to be uncomfortable so he asks how he would kiss a girl

‘Well, first I’d cup her cheeks.’

‘Okay, do that.’

‘Oh wow. Stubble.’

‘See, I told you it’s different. Then what would you do?’ 

And Jace goes through all his Kissing steps until they’re actually kissing, a bit awkward with bumping noses and scraping teeth, but Meliorn is patient and more experienced so he knows how to tilt his head to make it more comfortable for the both of them

and after some practice Jace gets the hang of it and is even bold enough to pry open Meliorn’s lips and slip in his tongue

Meliorn was not expecting that and his knees literally buckle but thankfully he’s clinging onto Jace’ shirt and Jace is cupping the back of his neck

anyway they eventually have to part for air and Meliorn is kinda lost for words but Jace just grins and says kissing boys is nicer than kissing girls, or maybe Meliorn is just a really good kisser

and okay so they finally meet up with Jace’ friends and they’re holding hands and honestly they look so good together people literally turn their heads to look at them

Clary’s grin might be the biggest of them all when Jace introduces Meliorn bc she’s the best supportive ex girlfriend okay

and Meliorn seems to immediately fit into their squad, talking to Magnus about books and to Simon about games and he even manages to engage Raphael in a conversation and honestly?? Jace just looks at him in awe because fuck. He’s so beautiful and sweet and his laugh sounds like bells ringing in the wind and he just fits so well, like it was meant to be

Alec notices Jace’ lovestruck expression and comments on it. Jace just huffs and blushes

the squad invites Meliorn to hang out all the time and their PDA feels more natural every passing day - like they’ll just be walking the streets and Jace will casually lace their fingers together or as they’re waiting to enter a club he’ll stand really close to him as they talk and occassionally peck Meliorn on the lips in between conversations

they both just kinda??? Forget that they’re fake dating??

Jace is over at Meliorn’s apartment basically all the time when he’s not working and at first they just hang out like friends but when the squad comes to hang out there, they have to pretend again and kiss and maybe sit in each other’s laps

and then after a while?? They start doing these kind of things when nobdy is around?? Like Jace will make Meliorn some green tea and bring it to him and Meliorn will kiss him to say thank you and it all feels so natural??

and Jace sleeps over all the time too - they’re practically living together by now

and since Meliorn doesn’t have a guest room, they share his bed (the first time they share his bed was after meliorn had thrown a house party and it would look a bit weird for jace to go home when he was expected to just crash at Meliorn’s, and they’d kinda been doing it ever since)

and then one night, Brokeback Mountain style, Meliorn lies awake, yet again forgetting that they’re not actually dating, and he’s thinking about Jace and how close he is and how he wants to touch him and kiss him and feel him, so he reaches behind him and takes Jace’ hand to press it between his legs

Jace is immediately wide awake and okay he’s never touched someone else’s penis before, has never even seen a penis besides his own and also Alec’s when they used to take baths together as little kids

but feeling Meliorn’s erection press into his hand turns him on so much and he just groans and bites down into Meliorn’s neck, finally allowing himself to do what he’d been fantasizing about so long

honestly, their first time is quite embarrassing. They’re both so turned on and they both want this so much neither of them lasts very long

but it isn’t awkward at all afterwards. Meliorn just starts laughing in the crook of Jace’ neck and says they should really practice on that and Jace agrees with a chuckle

honestly the fake dating thing is never brought up again. They just slowly shifted from fake dating to just dating without either of them noticing, but they’re both more than cool with it

[lesbiankiliel]

okkkk unpopular opinions here we go: i headcanon clary fray as a lesbian and i actually really enjoyed the hobbit movies even though they were Different™ from the book~

thanks <3

lesbian!Clary:

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

I’m also totally up for bi!Clary or pan!Clary (or ace!Clary for that matter) but lesbian!Clary *sobs a bit* I love it

Hobbit movies being enjoyable despite being Different™ from the books:

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

unpopular opinion: I actually liked the movies better than the book (waiting for angry gatekeeping book purists send me anon hate lol)

like of course I like the book, but let’s face it, no one besides Bilbo has any sort of character development, Dwarves are only a little more than a list of funny names, LotR contradicts a lot of stuff, and don’t get me started on the tralalalalally Elves (WHY TOLKIEN)

send me unpopular opinions maybe?