#utility tag

[misscammiedawn]

Really appreciated how the fireworks scene at the end of The Pitt season 2 tied the experience up in a nice bow.

We had been wondering why the show took place on July 4th when it made plots like Orlando the construction worker or Dr. King's deposition feel a little out of place.

But this season there is a common theme. The ills that plagued the hospital this season:

Understaffing due to working on a holiday with no extra incentive.

Understaffing due to continued corporate mentality. Gloria was not in this season because admin would not be working a holiday but her rationale from scenes in season 1 haunt the narrative.

ICE presence intimidating several workers to leave their shifts and the arrest of one of the emergency department staff.

Rural hospitals being closed bringing in additional patients outside of Pittsburgh community.

Cyber attacks on America's birthday from external actors.

King being taken off of the floor to speak to lawyers about the anti-vax parents from season 1.

Orlando dying because he returned to work against medical advise due to being uninsured and crippled by medical debt. (edit: misremembered, he did not die, but is now disabled from preventable causes)

The wild pregnancy because a pregnant woman distrusted the medical industry.

Burnout and mental fatigue from work/life balance erosion, people staying hours past the end of their shift because they did not want to abandon their coworkers and patients.

Every single one of these issues is a symptom of America. Of an insurance run capitalistic medical system that grinds people to dust and causes people to die because they felt the need to return to work. Where innocent people are arrested and harassed by state powers. Hospitals filled beyond capacity because rural locations are shutting down everywhere. Where the population is fueled by ignorance and mistrust of the people there to care for their health in part because of the financial powers that create an abusive anti-people system. Where doctors are sued for saving lives.

And after a 15 hour nightmare shift our doctors gather to watch the big grand celebration.

But there's nothing to celebrate.

They can only mourn.

This is America.

The sickness that these doctors are trying to fight by taking care of every symptom that runs through their door.

...and they are losing that battle.

[misscammiedawn]

It took 42 years to realize this but one possible definition of love is taking a person in the best possible faith by default.

Sounds like it should be obvious but many with CPTSD have parents or relationships where they were not trusted at their word. They had learned to provide evidence, citation and rationale for their behaviours only to be misbelieved, accused and treated as guilty regardless of the truth.

We are one such human.

It has been mentioned before on this journal that our father used to set 'traps' to test us on things, such as hiding dish soap to ensure we used it and when we put it back where we found it, assuming a reason for its odd location, it was used as proof we had not done the task correctly.

Over decades we were conditioned to expect our truth to be rejected on first contact.

Last week while ordering a New York slice we said something that prompted a gentle "one day you won't expect me to treat you the way others have" from our partner.

It wasn't hurt. It wasn't accusing. It was just her recognizing a truth in us and knowing it was part of loving us and that she wished for a world where we were not reacting to wounds that should have healed by now.

No coercion or expectation. Just a hope.

That's what love is, isn't it?

Believing someone at their word. Assuming they want the best for the relationship. That there is no ill intention or potential betrayal oncoming.

Maybe it's not a form of love we are accustomed to receiving or delivering. Maybe it takes work to get there. But it goes beyond trust and faith. It's an acceptance of a person so natural that the trust and faith do not need to be earned or proven because they're baked in.

That is love, isn't it?

The base assumption that they are acting in good faith.

Almost embarrassing that it took this long to internalize it.

[misscammiedawn]

Tumblr is a good social media for introverts. A blog could be nothing but reblogs and no one would notice. One can have no sense of self other than a vague aesthetic. Usernames are detached from the people posting. One can even dissociate hard enough to use the queue system and have something as simple as the time of day they are active be a complete unknown.

It is my favourite social media site and always will be.

[misscammiedawn]

Recently commissioned a bit of artwork from @cdlum depicting a scene from an upcoming chapter of our romance hypnofic.

ROM Link AO3 Link

[misscammiedawn]

"It was all a dream?! What even was the point of any of it then?!"

You were given an intimate tour of the inner-psyche of a protagonist. You were offered a chance to untangle symbolism and draw a full portrait of a character's mind.

All fiction is born of dreams. Plot is not the only factor at play here.

[misscammiedawn]

Tumblr can be so lonely sometimes.

Expressing personality and connection on this webbed site requires effort that does not fit into the rapid pace of the current internet environment.

Often posts will be sent into the ether. If swept into the waves of the cyber sea then it'll return likes and reblogs. Some may even have little tags attached.

Meaningful replies and engagement are uncommon. An attribute offered on exceedingly rare occasions. If one is lucky then an interaction and addition may cement. Often the interactions are swept by the tide, though.

We enjoy the site for preservation. How posts from a decade prior remain alive. That the lifeblood is creating an external sense of culture. Small pools that have collective identity.

That is a beautiful thing. It serves as an alternate to endless DMs and chatrooms that have no intrinsic value but reward a sense of connection between the people involved.

It makes the effort feel worth it.

It remains our favourite social media.

But it can be lonely at times.

[misscammiedawn]

Sometimes a person has a really bad series of months and it causes part of their psyche to forever be trapped in the 15 minute window where DBZ AMVs scored to Linkin Park were all the rage.

[misscammiedawn]

Obsessed with this photo we took while in NYC. Looks like the Press Start screen for a Streets of Rage game.