Cammie Dawn's Tumblr Experience!

The combined and unfiltered experience of an asexual psychology obsessed old lady who writes about things like hypnosis and DID sometimes. (She/Her) Dissociative Disorder Media Essays Madison and Belladonna Stories on AO3 18+ only please. Asks always open.

[misscammiedawn]

Miss Cammie Dawn Masterpost

Master Tags:

THE UNFILTERED EXPERIENCE TAG - Attached to all original posts and major additions to reblogs.

Peak Posts - Attached to all original posts that have 100 or more notes.

Introduction:

Visit Original Link

Hi all! Welcome to my combination psychology, hypnokink, fandom and personal blog!

We're a middle-aged trans woman in our 40s. We're diagnosed with DID and type about it sometimes. We are American but have a British accent and we simply type too dang much.

People seem to like us, I guess? We're a system of 5 and have a huge draw to writing about dissociative disorder representation in fiction. If that's something that interests you then check out our Media Essays tag. We also have a tag dedicated to all of our Hypnokink OC. There are broken down versions for types of content below.

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Our Tagging System:

Last updated: 9/7/2025 - Now with highlighted tags

I am addicted to tags. If you ever want to find my original content or my fandom posts you will be able to easily here. Just click on the links below and all shall be neatly organized.

Also there are secret tags which are not advertised. Those ones are for me. A little personal treat.

Personal Topics:

Asexuality - We are a kinky ace. We don't do sex or orgasms but sometimes do horny. BPD Specific - BPD is difficult to live with and impacts our relationships with others. DID specific - DID is difficult to live with and impacts our relationships with ourselves. We try to educate on the topic. Mental Health/DID/BPD Topics - Watch Me Post My Trauma In Public. Mental Health Memes - We have to meme or we'll cry. Personal Posts - Ones which are just me venting or talking specifically about my life and experiences. Plural Posting - Plurality memes and the occasional vent post. Trans specific - This Is My Gender and I am Proud of It.

Original Content:

Artwork Commissions - Any time I pay a lovely creator to do some art for me <3 Cammie Photos - Photos which feature this beautiful ginger in all her glory. Cammie Stories - My hypnosis related short stories. Fictional ones this time, though sometimes inspired by reality. Hypnokink Original Content - My little submissions of audio, visual or written hypnosis stuff. Hypnokink Writings - My personal opinions, info and resources on Hypnokink. Madison and Belladonna - Our series of hypnokink stories slightly based on reality going over a pair falling in love while one navigates their dissociative disorder Media Essays - A tag for my own big lengthy posts breaking down media (sometimes includes reblogs of other people's commentary) Media, Myself and I - Dawn's essays on DID representation in media. Photos We Took - We don't often share our proper photography work on Tumblr but sometimes we do and tag them here. Camden and Craig tend to share credit for photos. ReadOnlyMind - External link to my full length stories shared on ReadOnlyMind Scene Stories - Posts where we describe a scene that we did IRL. If I use this tag it is a recounting of real events. Story Time - Wynn's tag for telling stories about our life and experiences. We typically voice act them. Suggestion Suggestions - Ideas for hypnotic scenes. Video Posts - Posts where we are on video. Voiced Posts - Posts where we record stuff and say it with our mouth words.

Meme Tags:

Bites You Bites You Bites You - Cammie has a tag entirely for biting people <3 Boops You Boops You Boops You - Cammie misses her boop button :( Camus Posting - One must imagine Sisyphus memeing Fae Posting - Our loyalty lies with the Seelie Court and we must meme about it Puns - Craig likes puns and we put up with it. Shitposting - tag for when we're being silly. We Have To Meme or We'll Cry- Mental health/plurality jokes

Hypnokink Tags:

50 Days of Fetish Masterpost - Easy links to all 50 posts about why I love hypnokink with examples, audios, photos and videos. 50 Days of Fetish - Tag list of 50 different scenes and suggestions in hypnosis that gets me going and reblogs of other folx who participated in the challenge. Community Resources - Educational resources in hypnokink. Community Safety - Topics discussing dangerous topics and predators Con Recaps - Convention recaps for Charmed! and Beguiled Hypnokink conventions General hypnosis tag - General tag for all hypnosis topics. Hypnokink -General tag for all hypnokink posts. Hypnokink Art - Artwork featuring hypnosis. Hypnokink OC - Our hypnokink content Hypnokink Writings - Our posts and essays on hypnokink Hypnosis on Display - Audios, videos, demos and photos of hypnosis. Hypnosis Events - Convention information Hypnosis Fiction - Stories featuring hypnokink.

Thirst Tags:

Butts!!! - Cammie likes butts :) :) :) Hypnokink Art - Did I mention we have a hypnokink? Redheads - We like redheads. We are redheads. Sapphic Art - Speaks for itself <3 Stage Magicians - Stage magic is hot. Do not @ me. Sword Lady Thirst - I just want my chin lifted by a sword so I have to meet their gaze... Vampire Thirst - Cammie Likes Vampires

General Tags:

Cammie Posting - tag for a soft and playful girl. Camden Posting - tag for a traumaqueer. Dawn Posting - tag for a flirty and extravagant Fae. Craig Posting - tag for the boy that lives in the heart of a girl. Utility Tag - Wynn's tag for a survival part who is learning to live. Cammie Core - tag of posts that exude Cammie energy. Camden Core - tag of posts that exude Camden energy. Dawn Core - tag of posts that exude Dawn energy. Craig Core - tag of posts that exude Craig energy (empty as of this update) Wynn Core - tag of posts that exude Wynn energy. Signal Boosting - For when we want more eyes on a thing.

Ask Tags:

Cammie Asks - Asks answered while Cammie is fronting. Camden Asks - Asks answered while Camden is fronting. Dawn Asks - Asks answered while Dawn is fronting. Craig Asks - Asks answered while Craig is fronting. Wynn Asks - Asks answered while Wynn is fronting. Ask Memes - Ask based games. We try to link the source but sometimes forget. Hypno Themed Asks - Asks about hypnosis.

Friends, Loved Ones and Those We Support:

Alice - Alice is a busy bee who makes beats (and many other things). Aranock - Video essayist who you are all sleeping on. Watch their work. Codex Entry - Ruby Seals makes good video essays. Daja <3 - Beloved. Double Grinch - Absolute sweetheart. Fellow Secret Mod. EllaEnchanting - Inspiration for asexual hypnokink, cool person and opinion haver. Lady Ru'etha - Goddess, Beloved. Linny Bee - Sweetheart. Hypnokink craft lady. Mas-O-Kissed - Cute imp who we like to tease. Nath - Incredible writer. Good opinion haver. Metamour. Paperboy64 - Absolute sweetheart. Poppetsisters - Our Poppet pals, the biggest Fantastic Four fans we know <3 Puppet - Counterpart. Metamour. Fellow Sleepyhead enjoyer. Rubia - Rubia is a lovely friend and author. Rubia Speaks. We listen. Skaetlett - Inspiration for plurality based hypnofiction. Superb person. Secret Subject - Boss. VTuber extraordinaire and good friend. Sleepyhead <3 - Beloved. TennFan - An inspiration in asexual hypnokink content

[misscammiedawn]

TAGGING LIST CONTINUED (because Tumblr only allows 100 links per post)

Fandom Tags:

Rush (the band) - Our favorite band. The First Constant. London (the city) - Our hometown. The Second Constant. Coffee (the drink) - Our favorite drink. The Third Constant.

Ace Attorney - Meme factory. Avatar/Korra - We prefer Korra to ATLA but post about both. Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul - Meme factory. Castlevania - We like Vania. We just don't post about it often. Celeste - Trans folx can double jump. Plural folx can triple jump. Control - Jesse is such a great character. Faden/Pope forever. DBZ - Mostly shitposting but I often defend that Z is well written. DC Comics - I guess DC are okay. They're not Marvel though. Disco Elysium - Socioeconomic theory through the lens of a human disaster. Discworld - Best fantasy author. Dropout/Game Changer - I love silly improv fools and their dumb torture gameshow Dungeon Meshi - Autistic representation and Italian wlw monsterfuckers. Fandoms We're Not In - I don't even go here. But sometimes have to reblog anyway. Final Fantasy - We played Seven through to Ten (2025 update: and are now so hopelessly addicted to fourteen that it has its own tag) Final Fantasy XIV - Mostly WoL OC stuff (her name is Honoria and she is a Fae, DK main) but I use this tag for all FFXIV stuff specifically. We are on Crystal-Zalera Server. Gargoyles - Pretty sure this show poisoned our brain at a young age <3 The Good Place - The best mainstream philosophy show. Heaven Will Be Mine - Chicks dig giant robots. Mechs and queer theory. (Worst Girls Games like We Know The Devil are also in this tag) House of Leaves - That damned maze that my mind is trapped in forever. Hulk - Hulk is our favorite. DID sad boi and angry fail system forever. In Stars and Time - Trauma, time loops and coins with two sides. Kingdom Hearts - How many kids can fit in that heart anyway? Leverage - Meme factory. Parker is best thief. Marvel Comics - We are an unabashed Marvel fangirl. Metal Gear Solid - Used to be one of our faves. It's beautifully stupid. Mr. Robot - Our favorite TV show. It has its flaws but it heals. Neon Genesis Evangelion - We love this series more than we have words for. Pathologic - Existentialism and prickly pricks. We like Clara a lot. Penlight - VN that educates on the dangers of hypnokink and the joys when done right. Persona - Used to be big into this franchise but not so much these days. Phantom of the Opera - The musical is kinda hypnohorny, okay? Of The Devil - Ace Attorney/Death Note hybrid with toxic yuri and fascinating sociopolitical themes in a cyberpunk dystopia. Revolutionary Girl Utena - Trauma, adolescence, gender and sexuality... with sword duels. Sailor Moon - Don't post here much but the aesthetic and vibes are peak.

Scott Pilgrim - Canadian boy who is the worst and manic pixie trans girlfriend. sense8 - Queer joy and plurality. Severance - Plurality and the cult of corporate. She-Ra - Catra is our BPD cat wife. We love her. Signalis - Sapphic existential horror with robots, time loops and SYMBOLISM! Slay The Princess - Relationships shape us. Razor is best girl. Sonic - You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum that raised me. Sonic fandom forever. Spider-Man - Spidey is also a sad boi. Ben Reilly is our favorite. Star Wars/Star Trek - As an in-joke to ourselves we tag both franchises as "Star Stuff" Superman - Mostly My Adventures With... but tag works for comics and other forms too. Tabletop RPG - General tag for all tabletop and roleplay related stuff. Tamora Pierce - Second best fantasy author. Ted Lasso - Mental health and footie mens. Saccharine show. Tsukutabe - Adorable yuri manga about asexual women finding love and themselves. It's Madison/Belladonna if you replaced the hypnosis with meals. Tumblr :) - I love it here! Tumblr :( - I hate it here =/ Twin Peaks - Best TV show. Umineko - Meme factory and earnest story about generational trauma. X-Men - Marginalized communities fight for their rights in the best soap opera. Zelda - Link. HE COME TO TOWN!

Post Highlights:

Time Loops and Dissociation - A 5 act breakdown of how In Stars and Time exemplifies the allegory of time loops while depicting a protagonist with Complex PTSD.

Dissociative Disorders and Hypnosis - At Charmed 2024 a 101 class taught not to hypnotize people with mental illnesses that include dissociation. I FIRMLY disagree and explain how to safely work with dissociative partners.

Ethical Personality Play - A post about how hypnosis personality play is edge play and though I discourage anyone doing it, if you must, I will teach you how to do it safely. I have a lot of experience.

Recontextualized Memory and Unprocessed Trauma in Umineko - A rundown of how the murder mystery visual novel Umineko handles the topics of PTSD, complicated grief and unprocessed trauma memories with an explanation of distorted Core Beliefs and how the mind recontextualizes memories as they are retrieved throughout a person's life.

Mr. Robot DID Representation - Why I think Mr. Robot has the best representation of DID in popular fiction and why the ending was a complete fumble of the ball.

Mr. Robot Back to the Future & Brainwashing - How Whiterose brainwashed Angela, focused on psychological principles being abused and how the show's reliance on pop culture references influences in and out of universe.

For editing purposes: (Link to first post)

[nomorechoirs]

fr. “Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself” by Charlotte Eriksson⁣

[segamascott]

[eviethekiwi]

disappears into the fog with a gay little run that pisses you off

[ectoimp]

[martapreliy]

[evenlyevi]

I still think of you on your birthday.

[misscammiedawn]

I am a healthy and well-adjusted individual.

That's 192 hours of Rush so far in 2026.

...and guess what I'm listening to right now.

Birmingham 1988, our beloved.

[misscammiedawn]

The streak continues:

250 hours of Rush and growing by the day.

[misscammiedawn]

Slowed down this month.

Unacceptable, really. We should be ashamed.

[misscammiedawn]

June update. 5904 minutes.

[pearmallow]

Been a little too long since I’ve drawn any lesbian fairies 💜🦋

[skonksrus]

Juri Arisugawa

[misscammiedawn]

i don't remember if y'all've talked about this before, but if i may: how did y'all figure out you were plural? what was that like?

for context, i've been pondering if i'm plural cause there are things throughout my lived experiences that suggest it, but i also feel like i can't point to anything and say "that is irrefutable proof of pluralness"?

So this is a layered question and I think it is healthier to treat this less as proving and more as accepting.

We were in denial for a very long time. We slid in and out of it a ton of times. Denial is an overt symptom after all. Dissociative disorders do not want to be discovered because they exist as a form of cognitive dissonance to adapt to triggering circumstances without endangering the person experiencing them.

In truth I found accepting our condition to be thoroughly equivalent to accepting our gender identity. There was even the same amount of "what if I am appropriating from people who really have this" hesitation for both journeys.

For us the clearest sign, even during the days that we were keeping ourselves firmly locked up in both closets, was that there were things we simply could not do unless we were in the right "mood". We needed "Manager Mode" to be able to handle running our movie theatre and doing the things that a boss needed to do and would have breakdowns at the job when we knew what we were supposed to do, were attempting to do it but couldn't force ourselves to.

Much of the time we just threw ourselves into the deep end assuming we would "rise to the moment" in the heat of experience. Much of the time that worked. Just meant we were constantly triggering ourselves in order to function.

...now is a good time to note that erotic intimacy of any form is very much included in our 'beyond stress tolerance' catalogue.

There was also a lot of "WHY DID I DO THAT?!?!?!?!?" emotions from going about life. Times where our mood shifted and we would look back on things and just get so angry with ourselves.

For both gender and condition related repression we spent pretty much all of our late 20s and 30s hating ourselves.

In time we started making peace and tearing down the wall. We'd been in therapy for a number of years at that point. Thanks to an unhinged death threat video from a relative we unearthed some significant trauma memories and diving into those in therapy started a domino reaction.

Camden required proof. By the late 2010s we were pretty confident something was going on but Camden and Wynn were the most present in the system back then and we were worried about appropriating or cosplaying.

Which is funny. Our very first roleplay characters back in 2001 were a system. The name Camden Dawn actually comes from the female alter in that system. We constantly played characters with multiple personalities. Our obsession with dissociation has persisted since childhood. Camden just used that as proof that we were pretending.

Incidentally, I, Dawn, was a rare pull back in those days. In the early 2020s there was a lot of push and pull because Camden especially could not abide the impulses and expressions that I am existed within us. She still hates it but has come to accept I exist. I'd argue I'm the most present alter in the current era. Even 2 years ago that was not the case.

See... the thing is. The mind really wants to defend itself and a lot of 'proof' can and will be used to prove that you're not or that knowing that proof helps you more effectively act. It's a catch 22 situation.

If there's any part of our anecdotal stew above that we'd point at to help, it's the idea of throwing yourselves into uncomfortable/triggering situations and expecting yourself to just adapt to it because that is what tends to happen.

In hindsight that habit of ours was not only unhealthy but it was AN OBVIOUS SIGN of what was happening.

We kind of assume the people close to us in our former life knew what was going on but we'll never know for sure.

The closest thing I can provide to objective proof is the Multidimensional Inventory of Dissociation (MID) exam which is a professional assessment designed to filter complex dissociative disorders from psychotic disorders. It's not perfect by any measure but it's the thing that got Camden to finally stop trying to argue we were just experiencing Mood Swings.

Also Cammie will be upset if I don't note that we are fictionalizing our discovery and management of our plurality in the 'Madison and Belladonna' series of short stories. Much of that story stems from reality.

[kyosukeasatte]

Due to arguments about how to fansub this line, I have determined this should be a nice middle ground.

[holesinmyhead]

did you have the dream i sent you?

[sifu-kisu]

[domesticatedanimal]

This is what I imagine every time they add another modern vehicle mount to FFXIV.

[sorisketches]

[misscammiedawn]

This meme is made for me and me alone but I assume at least one other person will understand and appreciate it:

[sindylewdwho]

Y'all are legitimately the only people we've ever met that not only knows about Haunted but loves it. That album is SO, SO important to us, you have no idea. We're actually getting ready to read HOL (Our father's copy was gifted to us after he died, he was the one who introduced me to the album when I was a kid. I couldn't bring myself to read it for a bit because I wasn't mentally ready.)

It's such a wonderful, emotionally complex album and I know it's meant to match the book to some extent, so I'm excited to see the parallels!

I can't even rank my favorite songs I just want to kiss the whole album.

[misscammiedawn]

We do love Haunted if for no other reason than the way the concept is baked into the runtime. Even at surface level it is a fantastic little story about navigating the hate and love you feel towards a absent/neglectful parent who shaped the singer's life and attitude to life and love and how those emotions are processed when the man in question dies.

But then you start adding in the additional layers? The attachment the album has to House of Leaves and the Danielewski siblings as well as their movie director father.

I've not seen any research on how true to the framing device is. It claims that the recordings are real home movies that their father had made but it feels too voyeuristic for that to be true. I'm more of the mind that they are fictional but based on real emotions.

Which makes the final two songs of the album back-to-back so emotionally devastating to us:

We have complicated emotions about our father. Too big to type.

We fear him. Hate him. Love him. Pity him. Understand him. Reject him. Reflect him.

Those emotions are a maze. Ever expanding and unsolvable. Something we all carry with us through our life. That baggage that you can't really let go of but you can make peace with.

If You Were Here made us cry so much the first time we heard it.

-

(What is it, Annie?) (I miss you)

If you were here I know that you would truly be amazed At what's become of what you made If you were here You would know how I treasured every day How every single word you spoke Echoes in me like a memory of hope

When you were here You could not feel the value that I placed On every look that crossed your face When you were here I did not know just how I had embraced All that you hid behind you face Could not hide from me 'cause it hid in me too

(How are you, Tiger?) (This is great fun, to be able to talk with you like this) (In fact, I'm going to do it more often)

Now that I'm here, I hear you And wonder if maybe you can hear yourself Ringing in me now that you're somewhere else (I miss you a lot) 'Cause I hear your strange music, gentle and true (I'm sharing with you some of my reflections)

Singing inside me with the best parts of you Now that I'm here (But I'm so proud of everything you do there, love you most) I hope somewhere you hear them too (Next time I see you, you'll proudly sing it back to me) Now that I'm here (Oh) I love you

(It's okay, you can go now)

-

We understand our father. Far more than our mother. He's a deeply flawed man and for all that is and was wrong with him, we never thought of him as cruel or malice. Just weak... and we recognize so much of him in us. Especially in Craig, the son he wanted.

It's okay to make peace with that. We wish for a better history. A better parent. A better relationship. It's okay that we never got it. We don't need to be haunted. We carry what is worth carrying and let go of what is not.

...it's not always easy.

-

HoL and Haunted are both pieces of art from children of an artist about children of artists using art to process their emotions on the damage that their parents did to them.

Johnny and Pelafina are both writers and it is clear reading the letters between them that Johnny's love of poetry and the written word was his bond to the committed mentally ill woman who may or may not have tried to kill him as a child... and that is the text. There may or may not be subtext if you consider Johnny reviewing analysis of a director's work against the reality that Mark and Poe were both raised by their single mother, away from their movie director father.

With Poe's album it is far more overt with passages of Tad Danielewski commenting on how the pair have their different art and towards the end of the album there are comments by Tad about how lovely Poe's singing is.

I think that's the big reason we as a system enjoy both works. They are obsessive works from children who needed to master an art to be noticed by an absent parent. The works do not forge a bridge. The fictional Pelafina and the fictionalized Tad are both dead by the time each work comes to being.

What it offers is processing and acceptance for the protagonists. The ability to make peace with the damage that can never be undone.

We love that about them.

[misscammiedawn]

By the way I'm not just editorializing here. Mark Z Danielewski had this to say about the start of writing House of Leaves:

1990. My father was head of the USC School of Theater. I was living in New York. Then I got the phone call. The 'Mark your father is dying' phone call. He was in the hospital. Renal failure, cancer. I got on a Greyhound bus and headed west. Over the course of three sleepless nights and three sleepless days I wrote a 100+ page piece entitled Redwood. I remember using a fountain pen. I barely had the change to buy sodas and snacks along the way and there I am scratching out words with this absurdly expensive thing of polished resin and gold. I'd like to say it was a Pelikan, but I don't think that's correct. Another thing I seem to remember: the paper I was writing on had a pale blue cast to it. There was also something about how the pen seemed to bite into the paper at the same time as it produced these lush sweeps of ink. A kind of cutting and spilling. Almost as if a page could bleed. My intention had been to present this piece of writing as a gift to my father. As has been mentioned many times before, my father responded with the suggestions that I pursue a career at the post office. I responded by reducing the manuscript to confetti, going so far as to throw myself a pity parade in a nearby dumpster. My sister responded by returning later to that dumpster, rescuing the confetti, and taping it all back together.

The book began as an overt attempt to connect with his father over art, one thing that he knew his father respected, and he was firmly rejected. HoL was born from those seeds, as was Haunted.

Personally I'm obsessed with that truth and don't find too many analyses of the book focus on Tad's extraordinary life and his relationship to his children or those siblings connection to one another.

[adastrabbit]

these new tumblr ui changes are getting out of hand

[frostfire425]

Image Description: Screen capture of a Tumblr dashboard but with text from two pages of the book House of Leaves edited in instead of normal posts.

[just-another-regular-dude]

[mollyjames]

Instant (Financial) Loss