hello im very !!!! abt your bpd tim post it is a very extremely good post,,,, i wd also like to offer for your consideration, dpd martin, i do not have articulated reasoning tho i just have im dpd and i feel it
HELLO i’m sorry this took so long, my braincells settled at the bottom of my skull before you sent this and i had to swirl them around a little bit so my answer could have some proper FLAVOUR.
first off, thank you so much! i’m glad the post resonated, it makes me really happy to hear that it could inspire a solid x4 exclamation point mood!
second, i spent a solid while considering it, and it’s time for some MARTIN MENTAL HEALTH META. *crowd goes absolutely hog wild*
TL;DR - massive case of C-PTSD, OCD, and BPD on that guy, but not quite DPD in my opinion. also i fancy him as autistic.
disclaimer: you are OBVIOUSLY within your rights to have that headcanon considering that it’s Your Affliction And You Get To Choose The Character, all the power to you! i’m just going to explain why it’s not something i personally headcanon. i seriously hope this doesn’t sound patronizing in any way, i just really like thinking about this stuff jdhfbkjdn you’ve activated my special interest.
EDIT 4/24/2021: i have finally expanded on BPD martin! which you can find and reblog here.
EDIT 9/30/2021: i have evolved so much since the very first time i wrote something on this topic. most of my exploration of martin’s mental processes can be found in part three of pharos by right: changing face! his BPD and OCD play massive roles in the story and i cannot ever shut up about it!
OKAY, so YOU obviously know all about DPD but i’m gonna walk through this for anyone who reads it that may not know much about it.
let’s just take a peek at the defining section of the diagnostic checklist. i was going to italicize the ones he doesn’t do and then explain them after, but. when i went to do that they ALL got italicized, so i’ll save space by going one by one.
I have difficulty making decisions without first getting advice from others.
martin makes all sorts of decisions without first getting input from others! if anything he makes a point to do a lot of things without asking for approval or help because he knows he won’t get it but he feels he needs to do it anyway, and doesn’t want someone to try and stop him.
he’ll burn a statement, he doesn’t give a fuck. he’ll go do dangerous worm things to prove a point to jon that no one ever asked him to prove. he’ll lie on his CV, no problem. literally all of s4 hes doing actively dangerous shit, getting no second opinions, going directly against given instructions, playing along with peter’s shit without ever actually intending to work with him or listen to him, frequently bickers with people or drives them away as part of playing along with peter’s shit, tons of stuff.
so honestly i think overall martin has a lot of impulses and makes a lot of decisions that almost no one would approve of if he asked first, so i think he honestly just doesn’t.
I prefer for others to take responsibility in major areas of my life.
due to that Delicious Childhood Trauma and his Demon Mom From Hell, martin is pretty solidly cemented as a Caretaker. he’s been taking responsibility for himself for a really long time, and if anything, i think he’d really reject the idea of somebody trying to make those kinds of decisions for him. he might be more likely to feel patronized and belittled if people were to impose that on him, because he certainly doesn’t ask for it himself.
I have difficulty expressing disagreement with others because I fear loss of their support or approval.
oof yeah, he absolutely does Not have a problem disagreeing with people, i don’t think. he’s got a long track record of telling people where to stick it and he’s damn good at it! he wants everyone to get along, yes, but he’s not scared of telling jon, tim, daisy, elias, peter, and even basira that they’re being Assholes. this man will snap at any given moment.
and i know that the defining feature here is the reason someone is afraid to disagree, etc., and that’s also something i don’t think? drives him? i don’t think he’s actually pathologically afraid of losing support. i think his pathos lies more in actually accepting it, despite how he might want it after such a long time of being denied basic care and approval from his mother.
HOWEVER! i can see why this one might resonate anyway because martin does have a way of playing things super safe and cautious early on by trying to do things for other people, jon especially, even when he’s being insulted or treated in a hostile way (which is something he’s very used to.) it can be like a self-defense mechanism to try to please other people and it might be a like something martin slips into until he feels safe, but i think that actually fits more with the C-PTSD that i’ll get into at the end of this post.
I have difficulty starting projects or doing things on my own, mostly because of a lack of self-confidence rather than a lack of energy.
again, martin definitely goes out of his way to do stuff all on his own, refer to bullet one! he does have issues with confidence but they don’t tend to stop him from doing what he thinks he needs to do. he has a level of certainty about him.
I go to excessive lengths in order to get support from others, to the point of putting myself in unpleasant or uncomfortable situations.
refer to the above points, i really don’t, like. see getting the approval and support of others as being something that really dictates a lot of his behavior and thought process. it’s still something he wants, certainly, but he definitely draws lines somewhere.
I feel incredibly helpless when I’m alone because of fears I have that I can’t take care of myself.
oh he’s definitely not afraid of taking care of himself. he’s convinced himself he’s really good at it, if nothing else. i can 100% see why this might be a diagnosis people lean towards for him because it has a lot to do with loneliness and NOT wanting to BE alone, but again i think it comes down to the reasons and tone of that fear of being alone. at the very lowest point in his mental health rut he’s more likely to isolate on purpose than anything, which in and of itself is a HUGE problem. just doesn’t feel like the particular problem described here.
I urgently seek out new relationships as soon as a relationships ends, as I tend to see relationships as a source of care and support.
this one we have no way of actually knowing because we’ve only ever seen his relationship with jon as it’s BUILDING but even there, i don’t think that’s necessarily how he conceptualizes relationships in terms of himself? obviously not everyone even does this particular symptom but i think it even applies to friendships, and we don’t really see him do this kind of thing. if anything he’s, like. clearly predisposed to neglecting himself while trying to care for others, and sticking with something even when he is not getting the support he needs.
I am intensely preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of myself.
refer above! i think he’s so used to having to take care of himself that he’s stubbornly comfortable with it and it’d be scarier to think of loosening his grip on that.
OKAY SO.
martin is a person who very much DOES want connection and support, he is driven by other people and his love for them and what he can do to protect them, and honestly the zeal that he puts into that speaks to C-PTSD a bit louder to me.
C-PTSD is easiest described as PTSD that comes from repeated trauma over the course of years. it’s often earned over a long period of time with exposure to a hostile or neglectful environment growing up, or acting as a long-term caretaker. it manifests differently than PTSD earned from a single situation or experience and can lead to:
lack of emotional regulation
negative self perception
difficulty with relationships (such as pushing people away, or seeking harmful dynamics because they’re familiar. cough peter. cough pining after someone who at first wasn’t even nice to him. his relationship with jon grows beautifully but there was a period in the beginning where it was Not Very Nice and that shit hurts my heart!)
distorted perception of abuser (looks at his entire concept of his mother)
loss of systems of meaning
as someone who also has C-PTSD (i have a whole laundry list going on, it’s, not great LOL) i see a bit more of that vibe in him? the general blanket of having a skewed sense of self, a distorted view of duty to others and therefore a distorted view of what he deserves from others in return, constantly placing himself in the situation he grew up in and navigating the world in response to that, recklessness, disregard for his own life, placing others ahead of himself, the people pleasing defense mechanism i mentioned earlier, etc.
it even ties into why he’s predisposed to the lonely, i think. he’s already kind of… cut himself off a bit from the idea of actually accepting the sort of help he knows he DOES want to be able to accept, and so his struggle is actively, like. taking his own advice and saying help me when he’s in trouble. he WANTS togetherness and support but it feels a bit like that whole idea of something being easier to apply to other people than to yourself? yeah. big C-PTSD mood. you kind of… exist in a fog, not gonna lie.
OKAY I’VE GONE ON LONG ENOUGH I’M SORRY AHHH.
back to the point: obviously, everyone with DPD is different, but i do have personal experience coping with these symptoms myself and i just don’t really, see them in him? the tone just doesn’t quite fit to me. again i really hope it doesn’t sound like i’m taking your hc down at the knees, i’m just! infodump ;-;
either way, this man is a neurodivergent king!!!!
EDIT: but also BORDERLINE. BPD and c-PTSD often overlap, too (like i said in my tim meta that trauma goes hand in hand with borderline so often) but as someone just said in my DMs just now:
He has the temper! He has the inconsistent sense of self! He has the need to be liked! He has the self isolating tendencies!
and frankly that’s all you need to convince ME because yeah, actually but i should go a bit more in depth. for now i’ll just link the checklist and say that i’m sure you can find things on here that feel very Him.
and here’s my post about low empathy autism martin. surprise! you can have low empathy and still be borderline, too. And It Feels Fucking Funky To Say The Least LMAO.
EDIT 9/30/21: one day. ONE DAY i will expand on OCD martin because honestly that one is probably the one that governs his life the most. Soon.
was wondering of, results for shuppet and/or mimikyu if may inquire ?? (....many apologies if this a sort of query you get, too much)
yes of course!! :D
Well, would you look at that! It seems a Shuppet wants to be your partner! Shuppet, also called the Puppet Pokémon, is attracted to vengeful emotions and grows by feeding off the negativity in people's hearts. Like most ghost Pokémon, Shuppet are drawn to people who are spontaneous and unconventional individuals, though they are also known to also be exceptionally perceptive and mischievous Pokémon. They make the perfect partner for trainers who are imaginative and whimsical, and don't shy away from interests or feelings that unnerve other people.
My friend, this marks the beginning of your and Shuppet's journey together. Welcome to the world of Pokémon!
~
Well, would you look at that! It seems a Mimikyu wants to be your partner! Mimikyu, also called the Disguise Pokémon, hides itself beneath its disguise and all who have looked upon its true form have died from shock. Like most ghost and fairy Pokémon, Mimikyu are drawn to people who are curious and have conviction, though they are also known to also be exceptionally observant and withdrawn Pokémon. They make the perfect partner for trainers who are anxious but playful, and have a secret sense of creativity and imagination they don't always share.
My friend, this marks the beginning of your and Mimikyu's journey together. Welcome to the world of Pokémon!
wondering, how much longer the my immortal series is to go for??
We’re set to go back to our regularly scheduled programming on thursday. of course. if there’s significant support for the idea I could speed up that time frame a bit.
