He said she was, but she didn’t feel better than Regina. She’d done exactly what he said she had. Turned a blind eye to the victims instead of standing up for them. No, she wouldn’t take a heart, she wouldn’t kill, but Mary Margaret had cast the curse the second time. If that proved anything, it was that situations called for sacrifices that you never expected.
“I’m sorry. Okay? I don’t know what you want to hear. I didn’t kill her, I can’t take anyone back to the forest, and I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to be doing like ninety percent of the time. The worst I can do to people is put them in a cell and that doesn’t work on her or Gold anymore. You think I failed. I get it.” The beratement left her bitter, but she wasn’t sure what good it would do. She couldn’t just go kill Henry’s mom.
She sucked in a gasp when he moved closer, not expecting that. “Of course I remember, we were right – right there.” She shook her head, licking her lips. She’d kissed him. He’d said he remembered and thanked her. He’d woken up, just in time to die. “I thought it was something I’d done for so long. And when I believed, when I realized that she had…that it wasn’t a heart attack. Of course I wanted to –” She sighed. “I had to save Henry, I had to wake him up. I couldn’t do anything about you, I had to save him.”
She looked up at him, determined not to back down, or away, again. Gods, he was gorgeous. And his curls, she’d forgotten how much she loved those curls. The picture just didn’t do him justice. “I can’t look at you because I have had this dream too many times to count. You, alive, granted you were never pissed off at me, but it’s still too close. And you’re right. I’m not looking at you because you’re right and because if I do and this is a dream, that’s another time I was this close and you vanished.”
“So your only option was to give her everything she wanted? All rally round to make sure her precious feelings aren’t hurt? Make sure that the people she terrorised do not inconvenience her?” Maybe he could understand why they could not, or would not, execute her, but how could they treat her like a friend, how could they defend her? “What I want to hear is you tell me why? Tell me how you can stand next to her after all she has done. How you can stomach her presence.”
“I watched you side with her over the woman she would have killed.” He had recognised the woman, even if he had never known her name, he remembered her quiet dignity in the face of her fate. How she had remained unbroken, willing to die to protect Snow White. Only to have that sacrifice thrown back in her face. “But then why would you care about one of the many who were willing to lay down their lives for your family?”
“This is no dream. You will not escape that easy.” But he could not help feel pleased that she had dreamed of him, pleased that his memory had haunted her, that she had not forgotten. But then maybe it would have hurt less if she had forgotten him, at least then it would not be such a betrayal.
“What happened here was the least of it.” He laughed bitterly. Death was a mercy he had wished for often, one that was always denied to him. And his death was still preferable to what she might have done, might have made him do. “Or did you convince yourself that I sharted her bed by choice?”