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sometimes, selfcare is just saying “fuck it” and closing the tab

#Vaal... Somethings #delete later probably #i was literally falling back into the habit of looking into something that i already knew was going to stress me out #and i just said #fuck it.#and closed the tab #and y'know what?#i saved myself some unnecessary stress #bc i just. closed the tab #that i was using to read something that i knew was going to stress me out #it's just as simple as that; i don't understand why i still do that #h

well that’s a feeling i think

#Vaal... Somethings #that's the tag for when i'm talkin' about something i'm not sure is venting; btw #delete later maybe #i feel... detached #like.#nothing. is real #i feel very floaty #if it wasn't clear; i have no idea how to describe it #h #i guess...#i feel detached from reality #maybe???#and i have no idea how to deal #i don't know what to do about this #or even if i should be doing something about this #...#i guess i'll just. float for a bit.

... h.

#Vaal... Somethings #... i need fluff #i've been thinking too much about angst lately #i'm making myself cry right now #like; legitimately #that- that's not fun. it rlly isn't #the point where i start making myself cry is the point where the fun stops #h #... i need a hug; that's what i need #but fluff would work too #i think

*slowly flops*

#Vaal... Somethings #delete later maybe #'scuse me while i jus. yearn.#i guess.#it's unfortunately not the kind of yearning where i feel soft and want cuddles #it's the kind where i feel. lonely. and kinda depressed.#i'm sure there's another term for that specifically #but. h.#i'm not sure if i should tag this as a vent #bc i don't feel... bad...?#exactly?#just. *so-so motion*#i'll be fine. i always am.#... what i wouldn't give for an s/o...#there's a lot going on in my head today; but i am not currently stressing out soooooo #there's that.

i see we’re in one of those floaty moods, now

#Vaal... Somethings #delete later maybe #am just in one of those moods #where i... am unsure how i feel #where everything feels detached #like i'm in another; adjacent plane of existence #not bad?#but not exactly good?#a rlly weird n' v specific in-between #is this what dissociating feels like?#i'm unsure #i don't wanna say i'm dissociating bc i don't know what that's actually like #but i'm doing *something*#that much is certain

I’m not sure if I’m tired because I’m just tired, or because I have a lot on my mind today. ‘s probably both.

#Vaal... Somethings #hmm.

I want to be productive rn, but at the same time I rlly just wanna sit here. So I’m at this weird impasse where I want to do nothing, but I feel like I should be doing something anyway. halp.

#Vaal... Somethings #i want to feel productive but at the same time #i've never wanted to be unproductive more in my life #it's a weird impasse and i'm not sure how to feel #or what to do about it #h

*flops*

... hhhhh...

#Vaal... Somethings #delete later #i got #like #no sleep last night #also i physically made the hhh sound #i am so fricking tired #hhhhhh

#vaal... somethings

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