Talk about 17, 24 and 26, maybe? :-)
17. Talk about someone you want to be friends with.
Hmm, well - this isn’t really something I think about a lot, actually! Though I’m socially awkward in a lot of ways, I’m actually not shy at all, especially online - if I think you seem neat, I’m going to bound right over and say hi, like a collie.
So... anyone this could have applied to, I’m already talking to, and hopefully well on course to wiggling my way into their friendship. They’re all very neat, of course, but that is all I will give away here, for fear of causing the blushes.
24. Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.
People are always so lovely to me - far lovelier than I deserve. I’m going to go with the most recent, just for ease.
The most recent one to come to mind is I’m - going through one of my depression phases right now (clearly, see entire blog), and like most depressed people, one of the worst things I do when this happens is I start ignoring texts and messages and calls. I don’t mean to, there’s no spite in it, but then a day passes, and another day, and another message, and I can’t bring myself to reply, and it gets worse and worse and I get guiltier and guiltier. And this time round when I finally text my RL bud Alec to apologise - not always the kindest person - back, I fully expected him to be like ‘well, fuck you’, but instead he said ‘[birthname], I’ve known you two years. You do this sometimes, and I don’t mind. It’s not going to make me like you any less,’ and I held my phone against my heart and cried like a nerd.
Because you might expect that from the Tumblr friends, the fellow mentally ill folk, the fellow trans folk -- but it’s just not the kind of thing you expect from Alec, you know. It really got me.
26. Talk about things you do when you're sick.
I’m a real baby. I have a high pain threshold, but when it comes to flus and colds and fevers, I dissolve into a total wreck of a child, and cry, and eat cheese on toast and then cry more because the cheese on toast is finished now and it was the one bright spot in this miserable day and now all I have to look forward to is a future of illness which will never go away.
Because at 27, I have yet to develop the patience or perspective to be able to look outside of my illness-riddled hell and think ‘this is just a bug and it will pass.’ No. It’s always going to last forever.
