you can be the inspiration but i find it harder to write of the good than the bad. what's the point in acknowledging you have good to experience when you're half-doomed to always lead back to hell. stepping out of my residence doesn't mean i don't reside there. tides can bring me back to you but the paths of blood remind me i still haven't stepped out of my house. my home is with you. maybe calling (you again) it means it'll be easier to accept you burned it down.
i love writing of the minuscule and i hate writing of the grandiose. maybe you're just such a massive place in my heart and head that it's too large to fully grasp— just like how i used to fit in your arms. or maybe it's the little space between my amygdala and prefrontal cortex that's severed, aided by a strong lack of whatever my hippocampus and limbic system are meant to do. i know your place is in my nucleus accumbens, and i'm sorry the neurons aren't connected to you all that well. they really like to latch on to everything wrong and you're just too right. and to me you always will be.
maybe the misery is the sickness and maybe the pain is the chronic place in which i lay. my crypt-keeper beating heart baby, the business and persistence of this affliction is keeping our distance outta zone lines in hoping i realize you're not something i ever really had.
either way, i know i should be home.