how can things change so drastically in such a short amount of time? one moment she was blissfully happy with her mate, excited to tell him they were expecting. she saw their future so clearly, the two of them ruling the dusk court together, their friends by their side, and them spoiling their baby with so much love. it was perfect and more than nesta could have dreamed for herself, so it shouldn’t have crushed her the way it did when that future crumbled right before her. whenever things seem to be going well and she’s happy it never lasts long, something always happens to ruin it.
however, there was one blessing; the fact that she didn’t tell cassian about her pregnancy before he made his decision. she still didn’t know all the faerie laws, didn’t know if any existed for such a situation, nor did she care. she didn’t know if she would have been stuck there in the night court or if rhysand would have forced her to stay because she was carrying cassian’s baby. not that she’d listen to him, but it would have made things more complicated. and there was no way she was going to tell cassian about the pregnancy in an attempt to get him to go with her, she couldn’t stand the thought of him only agreeing because she was pregnant.
upon rebuilding the dusk court and setting up the valkyries, as well as welcoming people to live within the court, nesta had been keeping her pregnancy hidden. using her magic she is able to disguise her scent, not covering it up completely but just enough to alter it so no one can detect she’s with child. thankfully it takes a good few months for a bump to show and when it started to it was small enough for her to cover it with looser fitting gowns and blouses. the last thing she needed was someone finding out and gossiping about her, then somehow getting to the night court. a visit from cassian was the last thing she wanted to deal with.
nesta was nearing six months now and it was beginning to be impossible to hide her bump or how easily tired she became. she knew this day would come, but she still didn’t know what to do or how to tell her friends, if they’d react badly or think her a horrible person for keeping it a secret from them and the baby’s father. nearly every night since becoming high lady she contemplated her plan, lying in bed wide awake as the thoughts nearly suffocated her. and still she doesn’t have the faintest clue on how to go about it.
her best plan had been to invite gwyn to her chambers for a girl’s night, slumber party included if she wanted to end up sleeping in the same room with her once she told her the truth. maybe it was cowardly, but she didn’t want to tell emerie and gwyn together in case the reaction wasn’t one she’d hoped for. one of the wondrous things about this palace was that it was alive in the same way the house of wind was, whether they’re connected or just similar was unknown to her, but it gave her comfort. it had laid about a bunch of sweet treats for them, books ( some of which were questionable smut ), tea and juice, materials for bracelet making, and a table filled with things for manicures. nesta wore an oversized fuzzy sweatshirt and pajama shorts, knowing it probably looked a bit ridiculous since it was still summer.
they were a little over an hour into their girls night when nesta finally conjured up enough courage…if gwyn was going to get mad at her and leave she’d rather her do it now rather than when they’re too deep into it. they sat on nesta’s bed while making bracelets, nesta now better at braiding the string than she was when gwyn first taught her. “so..” she started. her eyes didn’t stray from the bracelet she was working on. “there’s something i’ve been meaning to tell you and i waited so long because i didn’t know how to tell you or anyone. i still don’t. and i’m afraid of what you’ll say. but i know it’s impossible to keep hiding it.” nesta blew out a big sigh and looked up from her bracelet to gwyn. “i’m pregnant…nearly six months pregnant.”
