I SURRENDER
“ — i surrender, to you! ”
ˋ°•*⁀➷ a kimi antonelli x childhood bestfriend!reader imagine
warnings & tags- silverstone 2026 (thats a warning itself) , a little sad, cursing, female/afab reader, loss of virginity, p in v, oral (f receiving) , kinda vanilla but also 4 pages of smut, condom usage, sad vocal kimi, man crying yum, goes from 0 to 100 real quick, they both last like 2 minutes, definitely other stuff, read at your own risk, angst + comfort + fluff + smut!
based on this & this request
[a/n]- sorry for long wait! love ya babies! hope yall are well fed
3.8k words
“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Kimi’s words echoed softly on the many TVs located in the hospitality suite. “Like… the car was broken,” his voice crackled on the intercom, heavy with a watery swallow that was easily recognizable as a bitten-back sob.
All you could do was sit and watch with a frown as the air seemingly left your lungs. Your heart throbbed dully with the ache of hearing him so broken, his strained words ringing in your ears. It was agonizing, knowing he was in pain so close to the paddock where you sat, yet completely out of reach.
As sponsors and family chattered around you, your mind drifted back to where it all began. You had been friends since preschool, back when his hair was long and blonde and straight, though his attitude was the same. Back then, he was more soft-spoken, choosing to quietly play with his Hot Wheels while others screamed and cried. And when you sat next to him for the first time during school, he shyly shared his crayons, and you offered the Fonzies from your lunch kit.
From then on, the two of you grew up together. The planned playdates turned to elementary school sleepovers, which turned to awkward middle school dances, and eventually to high school study sessions.
Even back then, Kimi was one of the hardest workers you had ever seen. It had been evident since you were kids, when he began to insist on karting rather than playground hangouts. He wanted to be one of the greats, and he wanted you right by his side, cheering him on.
Eventually, he had pursued his passion in racing, going to F1 at just 18, while you graduated and went to college. Life pulled you apart naturally, but neither of you would let that happen. You Facetimed whenever possible, often during late hours of the night. Sometimes the calls were quiet, just doing natural tasks together, glad to have each other's presence. Often, his little sister Maggie would come and interrupt to talk to you, or his mom stopped in to see how you were doing.
Because of that distance, he invited you to every single race, but you could rarely go with all of your schoolwork. And so when you finally agreed to fly out to Britain for Silverstone, he knew he had to make it special.
God, he wanted to win for you so bad. The weekend had started so good, winning the sprint and earning the right to start ahead of everyone else on the grid. Until the actual race day, when his car decided to fail him, and all of his hard work had come undone. Yet, the part that stung him the most was not losing the race, but it was the painful knowledge that you were out there in the audience, watching one of the worst days of his career unfold. The beautiful fantasy he had built up in his head, where he won the race, dedicated the victory to you, and you fell head over heels for him in a grand romantic gesture, had all come crashing down.
So when the race was finally over, he kept his helmet glued on tight, walking to his drivers room for ten minutes of peace before he had to deal with interviews. He locked the door behind him, his helmet not slipping as he crashed onto the couch.
A faint knock filled the empty room within thirty seconds of his arrival. He didn’t make an effort to move. He was not in the mood to deal with anyone right now.
“Kimi? It’s me.”
Well, unless it was you.
His hands quickly slid to the door, unlocking it with a hushed click. It took a moment, but you slowly pushed in, your eyes meeting a defeated and exhausted Kimi. Your heart sunk at the sight, noticing the way his head slung low, helmet still on. He never kept his helmet on. Always said it was too restricting.
“Hey,” you murmured, sinking down next to him, hands immediately reaching for the head protection. Kimi just watched through the tinted visor, letting you take off his only defences. He would never push you away.
His cheeks were red and puffy, part from exhaustion, and part from crying. His eyes were glossed over, darting around to avoid meeting yours. You had known Kimi long enough to realize he didn’t want some bullshit speech or whispers of sweet nothings, so instead, you wrapped your arms around his coiled up form.
Instinctively, he surrendered to the embrace, his damp curls tickling your neck as he nestled his head in the crook. Your hands roamed along his back, eager to soothe his sobs by providing some sense of comfort through familiarity. His chest hitched and shuddered, drained of all strength under your touch.
“I am so proud of you, Ant,” you whispered shakily.
Kimi’s trembling hands grasped desperately at the back of your head, spread palms digging into your hair as he pulled you closer. The unshared nickname you had given long ago sent a surge of sentimentality down his spine.
“I wanted to win for you.”
His words were muffled, but they still stabbed straight at your heart. Your head shook softly as the vibrations tickled your skin.
“You already won in my eyes,” you started, pulling back to look at him so your words really stuck. “You are literally the most impressive nineteen year old I’ve ever met, Kimi. You race professionally for Mercedes. But–” your voice froze for a second, poorly attempting to block out tears before you continued. “But most importantly, you are so compassionate and kind and full of love, and trust me, not everyone can say the same. You make me feel like a winner for getting to be your friend. You will always be a winner in my eyes, because of who you are when the helmet comes off.”
The silence grew thick as Kimi stared at you with wide eyes, searching your face with an expression you didn’t quite recognize.
Until he lurched forward, his lips meeting yours in a passionate, borderline needy kiss.
It took a moment before you leaned into it, the shock morphing into realization, before quickly changing into devotion. Years of built-up yearning spilled into the messy kiss, emotions overtaking any restraint. Memories of Kimi flashed through your brain, from him holding you through long nights to making you laugh so hard you fell to the floor, and it only made you pull him closer. One of his hands slid to cup your jaw, fingers trailing desperately across your delicate skin.
When you finally pulled apart, his lips were slightly-parted and glossy, and his pupils-blown out as he scanned your face. His hands stayed glued to you, not ready to let go of your warmth completely.
“I don’t want to be just friends,” he confided, his Italian accent thick in a way that filled you with wistfulness. The confession wasn’t the long, grand speech that he had prepared in his mind, but somehow the lack of words was substantially more intimate.
“Neither do I.”
A tender smile graced his face, his expression melting into a lovesick gaze. You let out a breathy laugh in response. Words didn’t feel important enough to fill the quiet space, so neither of you dared to utter another sentence.
Unfortunately, a loud knock at the door echoed throughout the room to break that moment of peace for you.
“Kimi! Interview in 5!” A woman’s voice rang out. It was probably some PR lady, based on the way her heels clicked and lanyard jingled as she walked away.
“After your interviews and dinner and stuff… you want to go get gelato? It won’t be as good as our spot in Italy, but it’ll be something,” you asked, slowly drifting away from his touch so you could leave before he got in trouble.
He dropped his hands, which suddenly felt dull and cold, your words still processing. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll call you when I’m done.”
He nodded as you two parted, sneaking one last kiss before you slipped out of the door. God, he couldn’t wait until tonight.
You had no idea how it had progressed this quickly.
One moment you were friends, crying in each other's arms, and the next, you were making out in the silky sheets of his hotel bed.
The taste of pistachio gelato that lingered in your mouth swirled with his stracciatella-flavored spit as your tongues clashed eagerly. Kimi’s hands drifted everywhere, from your ass, to your back, to your hair, as you straddled him, desperately trying (and failing) to ground himself. Everything was so new, so unfamiliar in a way that only urged the two of you to keep exploring.
His hips involuntarily grinded upwards in such a smooth motion that it made you squeeze your thighs around his. Your teeth bumped together a few times accidentally, a small inconvenience born from the consequences of your messy fervor. Cautiously, his large hands slipped under your shirt, navigating a territory unknown to him. You didn’t flinch.
The lace of your bra tickled his fingertips as he cradled your boobs, eliciting a whiny moan from his puffy lips. The gentle hum bleeded into your kiss, and you couldn’t help yourself anymore. Running along his clothed chest, your hands pawed at his belt, eager to unbuckle it without parting from his mouth.
“Wait, wait,” Kimi stuttered breathlessly, pulling apart just slightly so he could talk. The moonlight leaked in through the partially-closed curtains, casting a silver glow on your face. For a moment, the words vanished from his mind, your flushed cheeks and loving gaze rendering him speechless.
He swallowed nervously, the sensation bringing him back to consciousness as he remembered why he stopped. “I’ve never done this before.”
“Neither have I,” you whispered, your eyes darting rapidly across his face, searching for a slight twitch of the lip, or scrunch of the eye, anything to hint at what he was feeling. Insecurity sprouted in your head and doubt seeped into your bones. Maybe you were moving too fast, doing too much. On instinct, you shifted away from him. “Do you still want to?”
Noticing the change immediately, his arm reached to pull you closer, if you were willing. He nodded rapidly, his voice a desperate cry. “SÌ, please, yes.”
You smiled into the kiss, hands going back to fumbling with the metal clasp of his belt. Kimi quickly got the memo, frantically pulling the edge of your shirt up. Helping him out, you disentangled your lips, only to pull the shirt off, before immediately going back to the warmth of his mouth. He scrabbled with your bra clasp, his attention mainly devoted to feeling around with his tongue. His hands shook in anticipation as he finally got it undone.
You shrugged the delicate fabric off and to the sheets as Kimi gently flipped you over. He peeled his shirt off hastily, watching as you shamelessly paused to marvel at the sight looming over you. Smugly and with a newfound confidence, he grasped at your hand and brought it to feel his chest, before lowering it down slowly across his abs. If you were thinking straight, you would roll your eyes at his cockiness, but your mind was too clouded with lust to care. Even as he took away his hand to shift your skirt off, yours remained on his torso, feeling and exploring the muscles like you always dreamed of.
Meanwhile, your skirt settled to the floor, and Kimi’s breath hitched at the sight of your matching lace panties. He paused to admire the dainty pink fabric, hands trailing carefully over the scalloped edges.
“You like ‘em?” You smirked, watching his eyes drift back up to your face as he was brought back down to earth. Doubtful his mouth could let out anything but an embarrassing whine, he shakily nodded, fingers still aflutter as they triflied around your thighs.
Your hands strayed down, leaving the crevices of his abs and grabbing at his loose belt.
He stopped you yet again.
With all the courage he could muster, he spoke again, voice laced with anticipation and a hint of longing. “I want to make you feel good first. Can I?”
His eyes were misty along the rims, a pleading glare cast upon his facade. It was overwhelming, going from hopelessly pining over his best friend to having her bare beneath him.
This time, it was you who was too starstruck to reply. You agreed fondly, eyes never leaving him as he dipped down beneath your legs.
A flush pink creeped up your neck as his hands slid your panties down, leaving you fully exposed and vulnerable. You didn’t shy away like most would. You trusted Kimi, whole heartedly.
His lips graced the plush of your inner thighs, peppering kisses gingerly across your slick skin. The warmth sent shivers up your spine, a stark contrast to the cool air spewing in through the vents and tainting your arms with goosebumps. On instinct, your fingers flew to his curls, gripping on for dear life at the gentle touches. You needed something to stabilize your body, shaking with anticipation.
His eyes shifted up, lashes fluttering as he studied your expression with the evaluating stare of a strategist. Carefully, and without shifting his gaze, his tongue darted out to give a long, slow lick up your wet folds. Watching your eyebrows furrow in pleasure, he licked again, this time pausing to suck on your clit and coating the spot in spit. A breathy moan escaped your lips as you shifted to lean on your elbows for support.
Every whine went straight to his ego, his confidence increasing as he moved again hastily. This time, his tongue poked at your entrance, silently asking for permission to taste you deeper. Dripping with saliva and wetness, it was easy for Kimi to slide in your tight hole. Your legs spasmed momentarily around his head, while a sweet, musky taste flooded his mouth, one so inebriating that he could only compare it to fine wine. He lapped profoundly, hooked on the new taste of your salty flesh.
Quivering, you silenced your moans by biting your bottom lip, turning it cherry red. Kimi’s tongue explored your warm flesh, noting every spot that made your muscles twitch. He was so eager to make you feel good, to force the dreamy whimpers from your throat, to please you in a way no one had before. It was intoxicating to dangerous levels, an addiction forming quietly in the back of his mind.
One of his hands released from clutching your waist, gravitating down to where you needed him the most. Moving his tongue back to suck on your clit, a finger delicately replaced the emptiness inside you. Kimi went slow, his heavy eyes looming the whole time to make sure you felt comfortable. When you nodded desperately, he pushed farther.
It was only one finger, and yet it had you clenching and twitching and moaning his name in pure ecstasy. The sight was unbelievably lewd, your nipples peaking in the moonlight, hands grasping and releasing in his curls, all while wet sloshes filled the air. His moves were deliberate, calculated almost, as if he were lovingly assessing data for race. He studied your every move, determining if you could handle another finger or it would be too much for your pretty pussy. He grinded messily against the edge of the mattress, his dick straining against his jeans at the sight of you, all disheveled for him. No one else had been able to experience heaven like he had. The thought had him throbbing harder.
A second finger twirled around your entrance, gathering slick to make the stretch less painful. You hadn’t spoken in minutes, only breathless (and slightly pathetic) sounds escaping your mouth. His skin was so warm, palms dewy with sweat as his free hand groped around needily. The smell of sandalwood from his cologne floated faintly in the air, lingering and mixing with the smell of pure lust-filled adrenaline.
“Is it okay if I–”
You interrupted him immediately. He could do anything he asked.
“Yes, please, god, Kimi, yes.”
He smiled, love, and boldness, adorning his features as he probed another finger toward your tight hole. Your eyes snapped shut, swimming with tears as Kimi’s considerable fingers stretched you beyond familiarity. And just as you caught your breath, he curled them ever-so-slightly, moving against your walls until he found the spot.
A string of croaky curse words left your achy throat as he assaulted the area with a special kind of compassion. Everything was too much. His sweet taste loitered on your tongue, his hands worked with intense delicacy, his lips suckled against your clit, all working together and forcing you undone. Sopping plaps filled the hotel room, the sound so risqué you were sure the hotel had heard and blacklisted the both of you by now.
“Oh, oh fuck, I’m gonna–”
Kimi cut you off before you could finish your sentence. Not with words, but by fucking you harder, moving his fingers faster and with more purpose, licking everywhere he knew would get a reaction out of you. You weren’t lying when you said Kimi was the hardest worker you knew. When he set his mind to a new goal, he wouldn’t stop until it was complete. And right now, that goal was you.
Waves of unexplored pleasure came crashing down in an instant, your legs quivering so hard it was foreign. Everything shook with staggering bliss, even your toes clenching to try and soothe the ecstasy. Kimi lapped your juices up fervently, devouring every drop until you physically wrenched him away by the hair.
Your liquids leaked down his chin as he grinned dopily, so clearly proud of himself. You pulled him back up to you with a smile, wanting to feel his balmy skin against yours as your breath evened out. A few moments later, and you were reaching at his jeans for the third time, thankfully, with no push back.
He slid off his denim pants, the heavy fabric and metal belt clasp making a thud as they hit the ground. You gulped nervously at the outline of his hefty bulge, his grey boxer briefs already stained with precum. Kimi noticed your hesitation (he had gotten quite good about noticing shifts in your mood), and instantly went to cup your jaw, a silent gesture that spoke more than words ever could.
His touch was so comforting, and he was so patient and selfless, it only turned you on farther. You reached out, one hand sliding his boxers down carefully while the other wrapped around his length.
Pearly drops of precum beaded and leaked from the pink tip, dripping down and spilling onto your skin. It was bigger than you expected, the girth making only enlarging it to a degree that was both delicious and nerve-racking. You couldn’t help but give it a small, drawn out lick.
A frantic, low groan grumbled from the back of Kimi’s throat, the noise so lewd it made you soak slightly. His head tilted back, revealing his pronounced Adam's apple that bobbed as he swallowed.
“I’m not gonna last if you do that,” he whimpered, hands pawing at your head to gain some control. You smirked coyly, staring up at him with a sneaky stare.
Against his desires, he pulled apart slightly, reaching for his abandoned wallet on the nightstand and pulling out a silver foil packet. You snatched it, ripping the package with your teeth before slowly rolling it against his length. You wanted to tease a little, but you were too desperate yourself to prolong it.
Laying you back softly against the white sheets again, Kimi pressed a passionate kiss to your lips, the taste of you still present on his tongue. He only broke it so he could look down, aligning the tip of his wrapped cock with your hole. His thumbs traced the side of your face, soothing you for the mixture of pain and pleasure that was to come. Wetness from earlier still soaked your thighs, making it easier for him to glide the tip in.
It burned at first, the initial movement stretching you past any previous limits. He shook as he slowly pushed deeper, pathetic groans echoing off the walls.
“You’re doin’ so– fuck ! So good- f’me,” he moaned out, coaching you through it while also trying not to bust before even getting started.
You let out a cry of gratification, the pain gradually morphing into something much more satisfying. Kimi finally bottomed out, leaving you full and needy. He had to pause and focus on soothing his erratic breathing, the feeling of your fleshy walls clenching around him making his head ring. His eyes tensed shut for a moment as he adjusted to the unknown feeling.
When his heart finally slowed to a pace that wasn’t borderline dangerous, he glanced up through hooded lids to check on you. Nodding frantically, your nails scratched at his back, urging him to move, do something.
With a soft tug, he pulled back out, lips meeting yours again. The loss of your warmth made him involuntarily plow hard back into you, hitting that special spot that lay deep inside you. Both of you let a groan into the kiss, not daring to break it just yet.
His pace increased rapidly, drilling into you uncontrollably like a dog in heat. It was messy, and frantic, and so full of love, your mind buzzed and muted out all other senses. He wished he could speak, say anything, help you through it somehow, but his voice failed him. All his focus went into making sure he didn’t come too soon. And judging based on how his balls were clenching and his moans getting louder, it didn’t seem likely that would last long.
You had pulled away from his lips to look into his eyes. His pupils were dilated and his lashes waved, and for the first time, you fully grasped the situation. You were sharing one of the most vulnerable moments of your life with Kimi, your Kimi. Your heart suddenly felt full at the thought.
And then he looked at you, really looked, and came to the same realization in his mind. The girl he had always dreamed of, in his arms, looking more beautiful than ever, even with flushed cheeks and matted hair. God, he couldn’t wait to spend his life with you.
“Fuck, fuck! M’so sorry, I’m sorry,” he uttered, his thrusts slowing down and hitting deeper as his climax hit. It was short. Too short. Fuck, he was embarrased. The warm cum filled the silicone as he stilled inside of you, though he silently wished the border wasn’t there.
You both let out a sound of breathless laughter, post-nut clarity easing the mood a little.
“It’s okay, we’ve got all night. And then the rest of our lives.”