Warnings: Sexual references, biting but we’re mature (I hope)
She’s back! I’ve kissed 4 guys in my life, and all these headcannons take that into account. It may be obvious which are inspired by the same men. I’ve been with good kissers, bad ones, and awful ones. What’s life without the good, bad, and awful, though?
Headcannons below cut!
Superstarbur: This man can kiss. Always a little too rough or strong, though. You get the sense he’s kissing you purely to drink in your lust over him, and you can tell this turns him on. Superstarbur’s hands are never still when kissing you, preferring to rest in your hair as a handle to yank your head back and cover your neck in love bites and hickies.
Simpbur: Simpbur is a nervous kisser, always too much tongue, forgetting to breathe, or accidentally biting your lip. He’s so desperate, so horny for you that he doesn’t care how bad the kissing is, His mouth is on yours, your spit glistening on his chapped lips. He’d dart out his tongue to taste you, still on his mouth, and dive in for more. His hands never stop moving, grasping at your chest, between your legs, your butt, any inch of exposed skin.
Incelbur: Let’s be honest. Incelbur is a terrible kisser. His mouth tastes like nicotine, the sharp bite of cigarettes overriding the breathmint hastily swallowed before he saw you. If you can put up with that, you might get lucky and he’s cum in his pants within 30 seconds.
Dadbur: Dadbur kisses like it’s his sole purpose in life. Soft, tender, the edge of his tongue tracing the inside of your lower lip before giving it a gentle bite. His hand would gently caress your cheek, the other pulling you in by your waist. He’s a tall man, and if you’re shorter, he loves you sitting on his lap so he can look up at you as you kiss.
Beardbur: Another Bursona who’s surprisingly good at kissing, Beardbur loves how your smile feels against his when his beard tickles your face. He’d only trim his beard so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable, as he loves kissing, Honestly? He could probably just go the rest of his life without sex if he got to make out with you on the daily.
Vampirebur: Vampirebur cannot kiss without his teeth being involved. He’s either biting your lip or tongue, tearing clothes anyway from your neck to sink his teeth into your sweet blood, or nibbling on your chest. He’s not a great kisser, but oh boy does that man have a biting kink. If you do too, you’re in for a treat. Your skin is never unmarked by his teeth.
Princebur: As we all know, Princebur isn’t very experienced. The only person he’s ever kissed is his wife. He hasn’t quite got the knack of using his tongue, and prefers tons of quick pecks over long, unbroken kisses.
thanks for sending this, i obviously love writing about any of them even those i haven't posted about before. this is a very long response and contains nsfw topics under the cut.
personally my favourite would be incelbur, because something about writing a character that is so obviously unappealing (sexist, angry, unhygienic, bitter, smelly, hateful) and yet putting him in a romantic and sexual context.
it's sort not just a reflection on the character but me as a writer and all of you as readers that despite him being, well, a bad guy. we still like him, not in an attempt or hope to imagine 'fixing' him but instead because something about being so anti a normal male love interest makes him exciting and fun.
i've also taken pride in the fact i've brought so man people into the dark side and simping for him as well, happy that is most likely my legacy as a wilbur soot fanfic writer.
other favourites would include ghostbur, phantombur, simpbur, revbur, studentbur and vampirebur. i haven't written much about these yet but enjoy reading what other people post.
ghostbur and phantombur are just adorable, i wish i could wrap them up in a blanket and keep them safe from the world. i know many people write ghostbur as almost asexual, but i see him as a giver. would have absolutely no desire to receive anything in return, but feeling your warmth and seeing your pleasure would make him feel almost alive. honestly, he wouldn't be that much of a good lover emotionally because he's so floaty and oblivious to your pain, but he would try.
phantombur is kind of more obscure and the content is limited, as it was the character from the originsmp which i don't think lasted very long and was after dreamsmp. however, that small amount of content is some of the best fics i've ever read. he is almost a mix between ghost and simp, he is utterly obsessed and devoted to reader but so insecure of his own monstrosity. scratches my monsterfucker/furry itch very well. plus a lot of creative options with him turning invisible and phasing. also did i mention claws, fangs and tail?
i've talked at length before about the difference between simpbur and incelbur, but i get that they are pretty similar. to be brief incel is from the first series of songs (nice guy balled, karen took the kids, i am very smart) who is full of hate and bitterness and simp is the egirl songs (the internet ruined me, in love with an egirl, your new boyfriend, softboy) and is full of love and obsession.
simp is basically the kind of guy who would clean your kitchen floor with his tongue if you asked him to, and he wouldn't complain, then ask if you wanted him to clean the bathroom too just so he'd have a reason to stay close to you. he is still pretty gross, livinjng off energy drinks and instant noodles, but his motivation to try is very attractive. man would spend hours between your thighs with his tongue, making you finish again and again until he's spilled onto the bedsheets before you've touched him. then he's apologising for finishing without permission, begging to have you sit on his face to he an apologise properly.
revbur is a classic, the man needs no introduction. after neglecting reader as pogbur and his memories of ghostbur are blurred he would be utterly devoted to you. he needs to prove to you and himself that he isn't a failure, that he isn't a mistake. he is a bit gross like incel, considering the whole being brought back from the dead thing, but carries himself with a confidence incel lacks. rev is also by far the roughest lover on this list, leaving bruises on your skin that he'll kiss softly the following morning as he apologises for going to far.
studentbur get's a lot of people confused because i do NOT mean teenbur, i am referring to the character from tommyinnit's 'we went back to school' skit from a few years ago. the one that's shy and a repressed christian? yeah, him. while similar to simp he actually has a sense of shame and the concept of corrupting that good boy is just.. perfection. i see him as being in university so around 18-21, so young but again clarifying not an actual child. have been wanting to write a fic where has been his neighbour for years and is a delinquent and when he decided to rebel from his parents she is there to guide him.
now vampirebur i think is somewhat controversial. he was popular before the allegations due to wilbur's own aesthetic and appearance, but after i'm sure a lot of writers are hesitant for fairly obvious reasons. personally, as someone who enjoys biting and being bitten and the fact he is an entirely fictional character i don't see a problem. easily the most confident bursona, bro is probably 200 years old and has his shit together- lots of money, big house, plenty of experience with his hands and tongue. i can't decide if he would be terrified of biting reader because he doesn't want to ruin her or accidently kill her, or if he would be so addicted to her flavour she's basically a human blood bag.
ok uh.. lots of words for a random ask lol. thanks for the question and giving me an excuse to yap lol.
so if you have any requests or questions, even for bursona's not mentioned here, please check out my request guidelines and send me something. i enjoy trying new things and figuring out what about each character connects with me, and sharing it all with our lovely community. c:
