Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw, I’d love to tell you how I feel about Heathers.
A testament to just how out of touch the mentality of the 80s was for the transition into the 90s.
The real villain in this movie is not JD, not Heather Chandler, and not even Heather Duke. It is all of the adults.
For them to both establish and enforce the rigid social climbings of society, downsize any emotional costs the intense social pressures have on the kids, then to lambast those kids for playing the same social games is sick. It’s sick, I tell you
Then don’t get me started on the performance of grief in this film. The adults expect the children they’ve raised in this cutthroat social structure to *grieve* the casualties of it.
I’ll have you know that this encouragement by the adults to grieve is not out of benevolence and emotional support, it is parasitic and self serving for all of the adults.
Maddening stuff.
Now, while an understandable reaction to this bullshit, JD’s nihilism is just as selfish as the adults. I give him slightly more credit because he, too, is trying to fill the role of an adult. His father.
Anyways, I could rant on and on about this film. I can’t believe it was a flop when it came out, perhaps because people didn’t like having a mirror held up to their 80s bullshit mentality.
Almost Weekly Game Reviews: Shadow Tactics is the Best Ninja Game You’ve Never Seen
I spent far too much time trying to come up with the perfect joke to put in the title. Sadly, there there aren’t many readily apparent puns about Edo-period Japan. Instead, I had to make a joke about very good stealth games not getting noticed, because they’re so stealthy. Or something like that.
Now that I have overexplained the joke, it’s time to get down to the business of actually reviewing Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun.
What is Shadow Tactics, anyway?
Shadow Tactics is an isometric tactical stealth game developed by Mimimi Productions and produced by Daedalic Entertainment. More experienced reviewers have compared its gameplay to the Commandos series--which, depending on the reliability of my childhood memories of watching my uncle play a game that may or may not have been Commandos, either is or isn’t true.
The player commands the titular five “Blades of the Shogun”--the ninja Hayato, the samurai Mugen, the marksman Takuma, the kunoichi Aiko, and the thief Yuki--as they attempt to uncover a plot against their ruler, find the cause of a civil war, and bring those responsible to justice. The game’s thirteen missions take place in a variety of locations, from towns and temples to mountain passes and military camps.
So what’s unique about it?
Real-time tactical stealth is not exactly the most common type of game--in fact, before Shadow Tactics, I hadn’t played any games that fell under that genre. As far as objectives go, it’s similar to other stealth games: stay hidden and complete your objectives. Unlike other stealth games, though, you’re working with multiple characters, giving an extra layer of complexity to your problems and solutions.
I found it easiest to think of each mission as a series of interconnected puzzles: solve one, and you’ll be in position to solve the next. Each character’s unique abilities provide the possibility for multiple solutions to each objective, but also present new puzzles to be overcome. For instance, Mugen’s samurai training makes him adept at moving heavy objects or eliminating small groups of enemies in close combat, but his heavy armor prevents him from the same climbing, swimming, and jumping that the more acrobatic party members are capable of. Takuma is in a similar boat: while he’s frighteningly effective at extreme range, his prosthetic leg slows him down relative to the others.
Since the objective is to go unseen, unheard, and unnoticed, there are a few other mechanics that add complexity. Darkness changes the way that enemy vision works, characters leave footprints in snow that take a while to fade, and there are several ways to make a guard’s death appear accidental, lowering the risk that an alarm will be raised. (At one point, after a flowerpot fell from a balcony and crushed one unlucky fellow, his comrades collectively shrugged and agreed it was probably karma.)
The game’s “badges” system encourages and rewards self-imposed challenges. Whether the task is to play the level without using certain abilities, or to try alternate approaches to the objectives, the badge system gives each mission a level of replayability beyond what it would usually have.
Did you like it?
I loved it. The gameplay is enjoyable on its own, but the artistic elements--from the “set design” to the soundtrack and full Japanese voice-acting--are what really drew me in. The game’s storyline provides a framework for the missions and fleshes out the characters, making them feel like more than just pieces on a game board. And did I mention how pretty this game is? Because it’s so pretty.
Who would you recommend it to?
Shadow Tactics probably doesn’t have the same broad appeal as other stealth or tactics games, simply because it’s a combination of the two. The need for both analytical thinking and precise timing makes the game quite difficult, but if you’re the type of person who appreciates a challenge, then I’m confident you could enjoy Shadow Tactics just as much as I did.
Where can I find it?
Shadow Tactics, along with its artbook and soundtrack, can all be found on Steam.
FINAL RATING:
Maybe one day I’ll have a clever ratings system. That day is not today.
how about alice wu’s movies?! the half of it and/or saving face!!
What’s this? An Alice Wu double feature? What a treat!
- ‘Saving Face’. Not only one of the best lesbian movies of all time, it is also one of the best romcoms of all time.
This movie has humor, tenderness, sexiness, family dynamics, an airport scene, leads with insane chemistry, beautiful backdrops, depth into careers, friendship, I could go on and on.
Sadly enough? One of the first non-tragic (death or breakup) lesbian movies to ever be made. In 2000-fuckin-4!
-Then! In ‘The Half of It’, she takes a crack at the TEEN RomCom genre and knocks it out of the park AGAIN.
This movie captures the feeling of Love in all its forms. Love of family, a love of a crush, love of your roots, love of where you’re destined, and the love of friendship.
Teen romcoms always get the cynic worked up in me. When you’re young you think fate is intertwined with what you think is romance. But it is not always the case. Fate will bring you the love you need, but you need to be open to it not showing up the way you had planned. She conveys that in an excellent flip of the genre.
Wu sets a standard in economical storytelling. There is such a depth of relationships, internal drive, culture (that she even has an excellent grasp of with Dopey White Guy Paul™️), and love—in all its forms, that isn’t even covered in a whole television series. She can pull it off in less than 2 hours. And not have you feeling bogged down.
Do you realize how incredible that is?
Only downside is, I wish I could relate more to the parental relationships more. Little too hard to let go of my cynicism there.
But if any moms come in here looking for some porno flicks, I’ll be happy to share my stash.
What a wonderful movie this is. This is a movie about children as the protagonists and it remains so throughout. There was a period of time where I avoided most movies released from ‘96-‘98. Long story.
This was one of the first recommended to me to break into that timeframe… yes I even waited to see ‘Titanic’. When I watched it I felt like a kid again. I didn’t think that was possible.
Everything about this feels as though it’s made from a child’s point of view. The colors, the characterization, the villainy of the parents and, my favorite Butch-Coded villain of all time, the Trunchbull.
(She can yank my pigtails any time).
Though not all the adults in here are horrid. Miss Honey latches herself firmly into the queer roots of every dyke with mommy issues I’ve ever met. Myself included! A quintessential Cottagecore Lesbian of the finest order.
I’ve watched this more times than I can count and it’s never failed to take me back to a place I thought was frozen and devoured. The catharsis of imagining using telekinesis to torment my awful mother is reason enough to revisit this one over and over.
hello, Van. I really enjoyed your review on Dazed and Confused.
got another one for you: have you ever seen The Runaways with Kristen Stewart? Joan Jett always reminds me of your friend Nat. would love to hear your opinion on that film.
Welcome back!
Ahhhh.. The Runaways. A biopic that has the rock and roll spirit while being a treat for those of the dyke persuasion.
You say you know Nat hmm? Are you trying to get some deep dark secrets? You’re in luck because I will give you an inside scoop to the Real Natalie Scatorccio:
It’s true she is so much like Joan Jett in this movie, and not just for the obvious ventures into hedonism and cutting her hair with yard clippers.
The Nat I know and love is all over this movie.
Be it putting vodka in a super soaker (best way to smuggle booze in the beach).
Interrupting a makeout sesh to tell someone their soccer forms are wrong.
Shotgunning joints (she did it to me a few times. not gonna lie, it was pretty hot).
You better not make her angry on a full bladder, she will piss on your doorstep.
I was the one who taught her the shower head trick though. Don’t let her lie to you about that.
She could keep the team together on pure hungover spite. Wouldn’t take any of our shit, but was always there to lead us through.
This is a rp blog where I review movies, tv shows, and 90s pop culture as Van Palmer from Yellowjackets.
Awesome! What can I do?
Send an ask with a movie or show or a soundtrack/score you want to ‘rent’ and I’ll weigh in on it.
(Any decade is fine! As long as I am able to find it online or at the library)
Search the for the film in the tags to see if I’ve reviewed it. If not, send away!
Other things to know
OP is a bit of a scaredy cat, so be wary of horror recs. I am watching more and more of the genre and am especially open to classics. If I decide it’s too intense for me, I’ll still write a ramble about the pop cultural aspect of it.
TV shows may be difficult if I haven’t watched them, but I’ve watched a lot of 70s-80s-90s tv and am always looking to watch more. Send an episode rec with a tv review and I’ll watch it if I can find it.
Op is a massive pop culture nerd so please feel free to send 70s-80s-90s-y2k related asks.
Taken anons: 🦈
OP is queer/ transmasc/white and from the Midwestern United States.
Van Palmer I simply must get your opinion on the most pressing of matters. What were your thoughts on I Saw the TV glow?😈😈😈
I remember being really intrigued by this when the trailer first came out. And when I saw it, I was immediately excited to see Amber Benson, Danny Tamberelli and Michael Marina grace my screens again.
Finally, a movie that tapped into that feeling of fandom; feeling more seen and at home in the worlds that played out on television than anywhere else.
When I was in the Place That Made The Tabloids, there’s an odd part of me that felt so completely free. It was the thrill of being outside expectations of college, finding a job, planning a future, fitting a mold, being a nice woman, yadda yadda yadda. But there was a magic I felt in that place.
I could make people laugh and feel happy.
Sure, that’s not something out of the ordinary around the likes of Ohio. But in That Place, it was just about a feat of magic. Terrible lows and darkness that needed a light. To keep from suffocating.
They all saw that in me. I let myself become who they saw, who was always there. Being myself became effortless.
I loved, openly and fiercely. The relationship was not only accepted, it was valued as a cornerstone of our group. We were seen as the glue.
And that was because we had dug these deeply buried parts of ourselves out to each other. And fell in love all over again.
How do you go back to life when you’ve cracked yourself completely open, laid bare for others to see.
Not just to see, but to love?
To leave that behind? It really does feel like burying something alive.
Then to step into scrutiny and media circus? Eyes watching, judging, shaming, exploiting. It was agonizing.
I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror any more. Not only did I stuff that magic back down, I forced myself to hate it for a long time.
But I found relief in the glow of an old tv show or movie. Nostalgia is not a drug. It’s magic. A moment in your life preserved.
I saw myself the same in all those characters more and more. And in those commonalities found love for myself again.
The ending broke my heart. The magic (Isabel) inside of Owen suffocating under the weight of expectation and shame. When Owen watches the Pink Opaque again, all of the magic is gone! I worried that would happen if I rewatched The Adventures of Pete & Pete again. Would the goofy surrealism lose its magic?
It didn’t, because I refused to let it. I see myself in people like Young Pete and Fox Mulder now more than ever. For preserving the magic through sheer conviction.
Ah, Jawbreaker. The feature of my ‘Deadly Teenage Girl Drama’ shelf!
You laugh, but you aughta trust me when I say that there is nothing on this planet more debased and deadly than the acts a teen girl will commit in the sins of envy, pride, and greed aka: popularity.
This underrated classic speaks to the innate ability for most teen girls to maintain an overly saccharine and chipper composure right after committing some truly heinous acts.
Have you committed an atrocity? Do you have pesky witnesses? Why not blackmail them with Social Capital? That shit’s as good as gold in the halls of a high school.
Speaking of halls: an incredible intro on the lovely ‘Queen Bees walking down the hall in slo-mo to music’ trope. (This one has my favorite song of this trope).
If straight sex is making jock bonehead guys perform fellatio on a popsicle, I’d be willing to give that a whirl.
I won’t get into too much because this movie is a fun little ride that needs to be experienced on your own. But if you consider yourself a Heathers and a Mean Girls fan of any caliber, you need to watch this as a great midpoint of those two movies.
(I really meant everything I said about teenage girls. Watch out, man.)
