Van Palmer I simply must get your opinion on the most pressing of matters. What were your thoughts on I Saw the TV glow?😈😈😈
I remember being really intrigued by this when the trailer first came out. And when I saw it, I was immediately excited to see Amber Benson, Danny Tamberelli and Michael Marina grace my screens again.
Finally, a movie that tapped into that feeling of fandom; feeling more seen and at home in the worlds that played out on television than anywhere else.
When I was in the Place That Made The Tabloids, there’s an odd part of me that felt so completely free. It was the thrill of being outside expectations of college, finding a job, planning a future, fitting a mold, being a nice woman, yadda yadda yadda. But there was a magic I felt in that place.
I could make people laugh and feel happy.
Sure, that’s not something out of the ordinary around the likes of Ohio. But in That Place, it was just about a feat of magic. Terrible lows and darkness that needed a light. To keep from suffocating.
They all saw that in me. I let myself become who they saw, who was always there. Being myself became effortless.
I loved, openly and fiercely. The relationship was not only accepted, it was valued as a cornerstone of our group. We were seen as the glue.
And that was because we had dug these deeply buried parts of ourselves out to each other. And fell in love all over again.
How do you go back to life when you’ve cracked yourself completely open, laid bare for others to see.
Not just to see, but to love?
To leave that behind? It really does feel like burying something alive.
Then to step into scrutiny and media circus? Eyes watching, judging, shaming, exploiting. It was agonizing.
I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror any more. Not only did I stuff that magic back down, I forced myself to hate it for a long time.
But I found relief in the glow of an old tv show or movie. Nostalgia is not a drug. It’s magic. A moment in your life preserved.
I saw myself the same in all those characters more and more. And in those commonalities found love for myself again.
The ending broke my heart. The magic (Isabel) inside of Owen suffocating under the weight of expectation and shame. When Owen watches the Pink Opaque again, all of the magic is gone! I worried that would happen if I rewatched The Adventures of Pete & Pete again. Would the goofy surrealism lose its magic?
It didn’t, because I refused to let it. I see myself in people like Young Pete and Fox Mulder now more than ever. For preserving the magic through sheer conviction.
