#vanguardlost

[redemptioninterlude]

[ rest ]

romantic rainstorm meme ( accepting ) + @vanguardlost // hyeok jae [ REST ]  our muses lay on the ground together while it rains.

They don’t often meet when it rains ; she likes to think there’s purpose behind that, given that he plays with fire, in the most literal of senses, DISCONNECTED from the discontent that brews upon her hidden world that slots itself in between the reality he sees. Marlene still can’t half tell what to make of him, troubled boy of wretched origin, but it’d be a lie to say that she didn’t enjoy his company for what temporary respite it offered. An escapism daydream that settles and disappears in the same breath, to the point where him waiting for her in a familiar place hardly seems remiss by now, a grin ringing her lips, a hand extended to take him by the arm beneath the shade of an umbrella that shelters him from London skies.

They walk amongst the people and off to a park amongst the shaded privacy of the city. Private and meant for some residents with a key, but neither of them are locked by conventional means, she she wonders what he makes of magic when presented in similar form to what he can do with those hands of his. How he promises he once that he could HELP HER, if only she’d ask... and she doesn’t, not yet, wanting to save this precious company for the distance it gives her, pausing by a stretch of grass, the smell of it and the rain leaving her oddly sated.

“Lay with me?” he blinks twice at the suggestion, a little too fast and she can only laugh, taking him by the hand and letting the umbrella fall back, already soaking wet, but she’s never cared for a little rain. A palm pressing to MOSSY GREEN, and already, despite the frigid cold that seeps through her clothes, she feels... content. Especially with him here, offering up a a rarer confession then she ought to in these times. “You’re honestly... quite special to me. I hope you know to take better care of yourself.” peering at him through rain-slicked hair that she pushes from her eyes, before she laughs. “Are you going to just stand there? Or join me?”

[yeongxmi]

[ TWENTY-THREE ] sender is in a vengeful rage because of something that happened to receiver. receiver gently approaches to calm them down saying this isn’t what they want.

@vanguardlost sent this ask meme! \ accepting!

FOR THE “YOU CAN KILL ME BUT DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM” DYNAMICS

"I told you it's fine! I can handle myself. Please, Hyeok."

It was probably hard to be convincing, considering the sorry state she was in. Her usually smooth skin was covered in bruises and scratches, wrists ad ankles red with irritation from rope burn. The flesh around her mouth stung with the ghost of tape, glued to her lips just moments ago. Yeong Mi's hands gripped tightly to the worn edges of Hyeok's coat. It was covered in soot and dirt, surrounded by the smell of coal and burnt flesh. "Please... enough. This- none of this is what I wanted. You can't fall any deeper than this. Not for me."

Staying calm was more than imperative; Hyeok Jae was wound too tightly, reacting to every breath, wince and inclination in Yeong Mi's voice as enough justification to burn the next man standing to ash. All she had wanted was his redemption. To want to forgive him.

Was there really no other way? Had calling out his name in desperation been too much?

"I'm begging you. Please, no more."

[redemptioninterlude]

“  i’m not the person you want.  i know you think i am.  but it won’t take long for you to realize this is a mistake.  ” (Marlene)

some angst meme ( accepting ) + @vanguardlost // hyeok jae

Does he now. Marlene knows to bite her tongue, to hold it still - her reputation is going to carry outside of these walls, and, she’s already begun the work of trying to see who stands with her, and who AGAINST; for these are unsafe times. Given the things that Lily’s been researching, there might be a way for them to pitch in, as they can, but they’re nothing but idealistic teenagers, and with that strength and that weakness, both, they feel invincible, despite the odds. If only she knew the truth and weight of it all, the heft of war, but they were school children, believing themselves to be grown, but they’re too high up to care. Their reality had them dreaming, 30,000 feet up in the air, believing anything possible, because weren’t they oh-so-brilliant, weren’t they terribly brave?

                                                  The kings and queens of their tiny kingdom.

Tongue slipped between glossed lips, she looks to him with a sideways calm, and, she knows in him she might have a REAL PROBLEM. Because she was someone all too aware of the mistakes she’s made, the people she’s trusted who might now over ever put her over - why? Well, the whiplash doesn’t help, in her so-called apparent teetering loyalties. So few know the purpose behind what she was doing, for fear that she might be outed, that it scratched more than a few former friends to find where she’s gone. And maybe he’s right - he isn’t who she thinks he is, and trusting him might be a mistake ; wasn’t he the one to urge her to do so in the first place?

                   Back and forth. This process is exhausting.

“Who do I want then?” Old friends, probably. She misses them and she’s using him, isn’t he? As some sort of safe form of an outlet for those she cannot reach for now, for their safety and for her own. “And exactly what kind of MISTAKE are you trying to say I’m making? Because if that’s a threat... well. I suppose I know where you’ve help to divine those lines of ours. Better to know now then have you get anything else from me.” there no room for anger, or even exhaustion in this; after all, they must carry on.

[ghcstcries]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

°｡･:*･ﾟ✧｡･ﾟ┈• TAOJIN ; The Hermit

❝ It’s a skill, to look inside yourself, one you have mastered. The endless corridors and shifting thoughts are mapped to very carefully. This all takes time, of course. And those twisting hallways are so very difficult to map. It would be so easy to get lost. You know this space so well. Wouldn’t it be a lovely place to stay? So well-known and comforting. Why go back? How nice, how easy, to dissolve, to hide from the rest of the world and all the people in it. Why bother, when you are so good at looking inside yourself. Like enlightenment, the self. Retreating this far inwards is like retreating just as far out, into the vast ether. So comforting. The thing that was you looks at the thing that was the old woman. There is no you anymore. Goodbye. ❞

Tagged by: @vanguardlost​​  Tagging: all of my mutuals and everyone who wants to ok

[ghcstcries]

°｡･:*･ﾟ✧｡･ﾟ┈• @vanguardlost​ ;

          ┈• oh,  how  the  night  had  flown  away!  the  fire  still  burned  bright  behind  TAOJIN’s  eyelids,  despite  the  time  that  had  passed.  he  remembered  the  store,  and  following  the  stranger  --  his  name  was...  HYEOK,  yes,  that  was  it.  he  remembered  following  HYEOK  into  the  club,  drinking,  and  getting  fuzzy.  after  that  everything  mixed  together,  lights  falling  into  themselves  and  sounds  echoing  off  of  the  static  playing  in  his  head  until  he  was  positively  sure  everything  he’d  seen  had  been  an  illusion.  being  such  a  lightweight  who  only  let  himself  drink  straight  liquor  really  had  its  pitfalls.  he  didn’t  remember  leaving,  or  going  to  sleep,  or,  honestly,  resting  at  all.  but  by  the  time  he  came  to,  the  sun  was  coming  up  and  he  was  in  a  place  he  hadn’t  recognised.

          ❝  so  like..  does  that  shit  just  come  out  of  your  hands,  or  like  all  over?  ❞  he  asked  through  gritted  teeth  as  he  carefully  lit  a  cigarette,  head  pounding  as  he  tried  to  recall  exactly  what  he’d  seen.  he  was  cold,  but  he  had  no  idea  where  his  jacket  had  ended  up,  short  sleeves  leaving  thin  arms  to  the  air,  intricately  decorated  with  more  cuts  than  a  surgeon  would  ever  get  to  see.  he  didn’t  pay  it  any  attention,  knowing  well  that  the  patchwork  mess  of  a  man  in  front  of  him  had  no  room  to  pretend  to  be  any  better.  they  were  a  sour  lot,  and  there  was  no  room  for  judgement  on  how  they  treated  themselves,  that  much  he  was  sure  of.

          ❝  and  how’s  it  work?  or..  do  you  know?  doesn’t  seem  like  there’s  much  research  on  stuff  like  that,  unless  you  know  something  i  don’t.  ❞ ✧｡･ﾟ

[phantombs]

The wind whistles. Cường, a man so met with sun -- and filled with it, too, with its morning songs and warmth at sunset  -- looks at them from about his window. It’s calming inside. It’s frothed with candles. But out there, the snow wanders lazily along, and they lay seize about their cheeks where the blush of cold claws. Ah. You again, Cường thinks. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” Truly. “You’ll get sick walking out there. Feverish. You know, you can visit me, too, when when you’re not running hot.”

@vanguardlost, ♡'d.

[phantombs]

“   i  can  feel  you  staring  at  me .   ”

❥ 𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐎𝐅  𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘: No longer accepting.

Oh? "And are you going to look away?" he asks.

The far clock ticks on. It thunders its staccato taps in the quiet of the shop, and thickly, darkly, it lurks along the shelves. Ah, listen carefully, now: the midnight heartbeat thunk, thunk, thunking. Goodness, how strangely inpenetrable. Yet, even for as ominous as it sounds, little else better wears this orchid-lover, thyme-masher, and poet-tongued rose-pruner. He lurks there tonight, a fixture in this odd, little parlor with those eyes like shadow and a quiet like clock.

Haunting. Digging. The clock runs toward midnight, and his heart? It's clockwork. It's thud-thudding.

He's imposing. Cường's stare's like a weight.

"What? Do I scare you?" Hyeok bears it.

Cường slowly leaves his seat. This artist with his scarred body, fire-licked and bitten, knows he's snagged, sucked into the center of his whirling gravity. So, he busies himself, perhaps cleaning up the heft of his gun when the heft of that stare sinks deeper, bone-deeper than ink. Yes. And under you, the quiet warns. Under your skin, hammered in like the whirr of your needles. Interesting. Cường stops, watering the flowers at the desk. He leans in staring, his eyes through his bangs.

Hyeok finally looks.

He'll unravel you. You'll never dig him out again, and what, throbs the harrowing dark, will you do? Oh, just try it. Hyeok's eyes burn blue, and Cường, staring in the dim parlor, feels it in his bones. Hm! "Huh. Staring at scary things like me? You're brave."

[synchronick-archived]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

          the windows ;

          Tell me, do you look inwards or out? You’re a dreamer who feels just a little too much about things just a little too out of reach. There’s a longing trapped inside of you, to be a part of the nature that you look over every day, and you resent the way people look through you with that same longing. They don’t get it. You watch them in the garden, see them get absorbed into nature little by little. They don’t feel it as strongly as you do. Still, when a new tenant moves in, a baby with them this time, you have to look inside as the house moves to absorb them before nature can. It hurts what remains of your heart, your still beating heart that feels just a little too much.

Tagged by: @vanguardlost​​

 Tagging: No one, but please feel free to do it!!