#vapvents

[gen-d-vap]

being stressed about your pet sucks because if you reveal in any way that you are anxious to your pet, then they also become anxious and it makes everything worse

[gendervapor14]

sorry for another gap in posts. my power went out so uh. yeah lost wifi and service. also just. hhhhhh. life yknow. it’s back now tho we’re all good 👍 just might be a little while before i get the queue up and running again.

vent beloww

aurora’s new album is making me reconsider so much of my life. thinking about starvation rn. thinking about how much i stare at my phone trying to fill my starving soul. hmmmm. every night i lie in bed yearning for something i can’t place. and every day is just as empty in the back of my mind. yeah. that’s a problem.

i love to connect with the community tho. there are good things in this little online space we share. i love ya’ll. but sometimes i can’t help but feel pressure that i’m wasting my life away. working a ruthless job with no end in sight since the job market is ass… spending my dwindling remaining energy scrolling online or bending over backwards to meet dozens of baseless deadlines…..

i hardly even write anymore. i hardly even draw. i am too weak. i am too brittle. i am starving and i need something to SUSTAIN me. something big and meaty. something raw and personal. my life felt best when i was writing 01746, honestly. i need to get back to writing big elaborate stupid things for myself, just to feed myself. just to convert my wild repressed energy into something less painful. ugh.

then maybe i can find the strength needed to do some actual good for our poor planet

[gen-d-vap]

me: man why don't people read my fics this shit is good or at least mediocre

the fics:

m/f

f/f

gen

niche fandom

niche ship/character(s)

has an oc

not pwp

10k words on average

multi-chaptered

scary tags

boring tags

weird tags

uncomfortably realistic smut

shitty summary

significant focus on obsessive problems the author is self-projecting

bad

[gen-d-vap]

old man waves fist at clouds vent

the kids these days don’t understand fandom etiquette. i have encountered many people, usually about five years younger than me (not much, but enough of a gap apparently) who are into primarily large fandoms and don’t write, they just read. totally valid way to enjoy fandom. BUT the common decency of engagement is totally missing. i assume it’s because they’re used to reading popular works that are already swarmed with kudos and comments, so they don’t feel the need to add fuel to the roaring flame. however, this means that when they read something from a smaller fandom, they just. read it and move on. no engagement. they eat it like a corn chip and move on. like it’s just content. they expect it to appear like rain in a storm. of course there’s fic for this. of course it’s there and i read it. what of it. the writer never knows someone was even there and ends up feeling sad and alone because they don’t get any engagement!! fic cannot exist without readers! you need to let us know you’re there! even a kudos can go so far. i know you read my fic. why didn’t you leave a kudos. end vent

[gen-d-vap]

i wear my “you cannot eat money” shirt at work sometimes and it breaks my heart how many people just laugh at it. just think it’s a silly joke. only twice has someone properly understood and agreed with the real message. i explained it to two people and they still seemed confused. i really don’t mean to come off as pretentious but cmon people. how can you read “you cannot eat money” written in blood red and laugh?

[gen-d-vap]

so i sent a very polite ask to an artist who does both traditional art and digital, but they use ai for their digital works. this was their reply:

not going to expose this person’s username because i don’t want them getting harassed and i feel bad enough for leaving an anon ask to begin with but this is sad on so many levels. this is not art, nor is it “coding”. it’s theft. it’s disingenuous. it’s careless. maybe the amount of people trying to explain this to you is a sign that you’re missing the point. what is the harm in NOT using ai?? what kind of “thoughts” am i justifying here? not to mention the backhanded “no more anons i’m not debating a coward” not everything is a debate?? i went anon because we don’t follow each other and i don’t want you creepin up in my shit. i tried a very friendly and simple approach here. not surprised but disappointed.

[gen-d-vap]

bashed the side of my car into the rock wall of my garden. i request a prayer circle in hopes that they will not need to replace the whole door for one small hole (and a huge fuckin scratch) also prayer circle that it won't cost me thousands because i kinda need those thousands i'm literally days away from putting down a security deposit on an apartment

[gen-d-vap]

i keep having fuckin horrible lucid nightmares that emotionally damage me for the rest of the day and i understand it’s due to a changing of the guards (switching meds) but good lord please save me