No one will believe you anyway
Xanxus is so gentle with you that no one believes you. Ever.
Warnings: Xanxus is so sweet it is disgusting.
A/N: hey, listen, i WANT to write for other characters too, but i love my boy so much, he lives rent-free in me head, ok? My ask is opened btw, i want some stupid ideas, thank you.
♡ He keeps one of your hair ties around his wrist, tucked under the sleeve of his jacket. You left it on a nightstand once, and he has never given it back.
♡ He speaks softly to you. Not quiet. Raspy, low murmur like you're so fragile and breakable. It stuns you so much, especially when it follows after he has been barking orders at his subordinates.
♡ He strokes your hair when you fall asleep on him. Threads his fingers delicately - as much as someone like him can be delicate - not to wake you.
♡ He doesn't anyone touch your gifts. If you give something - even small - it goes to his personal quarters, untouched and guarded like a treasure vault. You think you can gift him a bead bracelet and he still would treat it like a jewelry.
♡ He doesn't say your name often. But when he does, when they are alone with their naked souls - it sounds low and thick with unspoken emotion and reverence. Spoken like a prayer on a broken man's lips.
♡ He once brought you flowers. This was a special once - the first time he actually gifted you flowers personally, with one rose being burnt a little. He found and you've pressed it in a book. One day you found it laminated between glass. It's somewhere lying between his work papers all the time.
♡ He doesn't ask questions, when she's having a bad day. He sits beside you like a silent guard, offering a mute companionship. You will speak when you want to, he can wait.
♡ He memorizes little things you do and like. He never makes a shot out of it, but he has that trait of observing everything. He remembers your favorite song and the way you take your tea. It doesn't have any practical purpose - he just...does that.
♡ One day you have found a plush keychain on your bag, looking like a dissatisfied lion with a little crown.
♡ He never forgets to say goodnight. Even when apart, he finds a couple of seconds for you. You always get a gruff, "Sleep well, woman" through a phone call before he crashes.
♡ He brushes a kiss over your forehead when he thinks you are asleep.
♡ He has your photo somewhere there. There is your polaroid in his work notebook attached to paper by a clip.
♡ He secretly panics when you're hurt. It's so simple with others to deal with - he just doesn't - but he never knows what to do with you. His voice is sharper than usual, "Show me where. Now."
♡ Xanxus wasn't like that in the beginning, and these relationship had some ups and downs. He never said it out loud, but deep down he wants to be better than the Ninth - not because he wants forgiveness, but because he refuses the history repeat; because you've convinced he deserves to be happy and you've shown him that. If he's going to have someone love him. he wants to be worth that love.
♡ He doesn't know how to soft with himself, but he is learning how to be soft with you. He started to let you hold his hand without pulling away. Even if he's hesitant and stiff, he still allows that. Maybe he cannot be soft with himself, but you can do that for both of you.
♡ One day he realizes that. Nothing happened, and it wasn't a special day. It was just you among his guardians, the most casual evening one could think of. But that's when it clicks - this is what it feels to be loved without having to fight for it. And it terrifies him.
♡ ...He bought you a house. A real one, not the soulless estates with empty luxury he used to have for the sake of owning them. It is the one someone can call home. A place where one could live away from the bloodshed. You couldn't believe him until he threw you the key and mumbled, "Don't expect flowers." He gifts you flowers.
♡ One day you have been playing truth or dare. Lussuria bombarded you with a bunch of personal questions, where you revealed that Xanxys often kissed your knuckles. Everyone considered that the funniest joke of the evening, and Squalo's throat was sore from all the laughing. No one believed it to the point they all thought is was a very good mockery. Xanxus does love your hands though. Small, soft and delicate but hardworking with some small scratches and calluses - just the way he sees you. He loves your touch, and yes. He leaves kisses in your knuckles all the time. After that truth or dare game you always giggle when he does that, and Xanxus is still puzzled to what has happened.
♡ When you leave small and stupid sticky notes, he doesn't throw away some of them. There is an old one in his wallet with a short "I think of you", that you have written him in the very beginning of your relationship.
♡ He has never been good with words. He told you, "I don't know how to do this shit, but I want it to be real. I want you" like it was the most difficult thing in the world. And you kissed him like is was the easiest thing in the world.
♡ He finds himself smiling at your laugh, the way you tease him, and has a hard time controlling it. Like he is not Xanxus of all the people. Like he is not terrifying. It's so stupid. It's so good.
♡ You once said, "You do not have to be angry to be strong." It's so idiotic in his eyes, but for you - only for you - he tries to believe this.
♡ He wants you. He wants morning with you. Dinners with you. Stupid arguments those dumb couples have. A future that isn't build or revenge. His life has always been scripted, everything has been decided for him, and he went with that. But now he is confident he wants something that is born of choice. His choice.