Mystery MP3 of the Week
This week’s entry was sent in by Dennis Biscoe of Ferndale, who writes:
“Got a bit of an odd one for you here. I certainly can’t explain it, maybe your readers can.
“I was at a record fair in Cardiff recently, having a browse. I’m a fan of soundtracks, theme tunes, library music and other musical ephemera, I dunno why, but I always loved that kind of thing, been collecting for 30 years, even though many people – my wife included – think it’s a stupid hobby. She even used the word “retarded” once, which is an awful thing to say, regardless.
“Anyway, so I’m at this record fair, looking for titbits to add to my collection, and I spot a nice little 3 CD set of old Radio 2 stuff – jingles and bumpers, you know, 70s and 80s. Lots of good stuff on there, including a tune I used to love as a kid, listening to Radio 2 in the kitchen while my mother got the dogs ready.
“It used to be the theme to Terry Wogan’s breakfast show back in the day, they’d play it at the start of his show every morning, and I just loved it. I can remember bouncing up and down in my high chair when it came on. It was so lively and upbeat. I particularly remember enjoying the drums, I thought they were smashing!
“Much later I learned that the tune is actually called Just Like That by a group called Brass Incorporated. They did a load of stuff for the BBC back then. Probably best known for a tune called At The Sign Of The Swinging Cymbal which was the legendary theme tune to Alan “Fluff” Freeman’s Pick of the Pops – not ‘arf, pop pickers!
“Anyway, so that was on this CD, along with my favourite, Just Like That. I’ve got it on vinyl but not on CD anymore – lent it to a mate for use in an amateur theatrical production, never saw it again - so I bought the set, 3 CDs for eight quid, even though I knew very well what my wife would say when I got home. I tell you what, she thinks I’m mad, she really does, she says look at all these records of bloody test card music cluttering up the house what’s the matter with you, she says I’m a geek and a weirdo and that I’m not capable of love.
“So I takes it home, puts it on, and I’m listening to this track, right – track 14, it said clearly on the label, Just Like That – Brass Incorporated.
“And it starts okay, well, except the quality is all off, it’s speeding up and slowing down, plus it’s fuzzy as hell and not properly aligned to the left and right channels. So I’m thinking, right, so, this must be a duff pressing or something. But at least it’s definitely the right tune. Except it’s not. Because about eight bars in, something weird happens. I can’t tell you what exactly, but it definitely never happened in the 70s, at the start of Terry Wogan, while I gurgled into my Shreddies.
“It seemed to turn into a different song – except you can’t really call it a song, it’s just a noise really, a noise pretending to be a song.
“Every other track on the 3 CD set is completely normal. It’s a professionally produced and packaged unit, not a bootleg, by a British record label using a Danish distribution company.
“I can’t even imagine how this happened, let alone why. I’d be keen to speak to anyone else who owns a copy of Classic Cuts Radio Set Volume 2 on the Varsity label, particularly about track 14.
“My wife says she’s just keen to speak to anyone else.”
If you know why this man’s got a weird CD, please contact The Effluent Lagoon (sponsored by Pfizer, Inc.). All calls are monitored for comedy.