Veer right and watch the sunset.
At the last second I veered my bike right onto Oak Street. I'd make a quick stop at Whole Foods to pick up some kale and tomatoes before heading home to cook dinner. The sun was just beginning to set behind the tall (for Portland) brick buildings. It illuminated the concrete and the wrought iron fire escapes with a lovely pinkish/orange glow. There was no one in the Oak Street alleyway; just the setting sun, a few fire escapes, the backsides of brick buildings and myself. This alleyway was so pretty at dusk and somehow I'd never ridden my bike down here before. It was always Fore to Union to Spring. Never a split second decision to veer right.
Fall is coming. Another season is changing. This one seems filled with hope. This one seems filled with possibility and undiscovered illuminated streets to bike on at dusk. How do I make it what I would like before the leaves all fall away? What am I building here? Portland is a city I can breathe in, a city that won't swallow me up. What would I like to come of this impending season of crispness and colorful leaves? And who would I like to include in all of this?
A year is how long I will be here but there are those days when a year feels like forever. Sometimes I wake up and feel as though I'm living out the entirety of my existence walking down Congress Street. How can I find time to travel to all of the places I'd like to see when there are so many and I have not crossed nearly enough off in my 27 years? How will I find time to go to that anthropology program in London if I'm still waking up here in Portland?
Maybe I need to stop thinking everyone else has it so figured out. Maybe everyone's piecing together bits of a life. You have these large life plans and then you also have the smaller moments: a night out there, an epiphany here, a move there, curtains hung just so, a burrito for dinner, a chance drink there, a morning jog by the water, the black and white stripped dress, peppermint toothpaste, a night spent in reading...
Then a bike ride home as the sun is setting through a funny little alley way you forgot existed but is quite beautiful.
All while trying to make sure you're not forgetting about how to make travel and writing and satisfying relationship happen.
There is still time to do it all.
I hope.
I hope.