#veera

[nellawashere]

Mökillä ✧

[icantbestill29]

Prompt #3

*stay the night, said so softly that it might've been a wish instead of a whisper.

Codepink for my friend @ya-ya-sestrahood

MK was lonely. So lonely, it bled off of her. There was no point in trying to pretend it was anything else than exactly what it was, so instead of sitting with it, she found things to fill the spaces.

A cat. Some house plants. Knitting. Online gaming. Classic cinema. Small pockets of brief happiness entirely designed to ignore the fact she had no one. No family. No friends.

At night, especially, the silence was painful. That's what she longed for the most, she thought. Someone to talk to as the sun went down...to discuss the day with, even if nothing eventful happened. A human being who responded and asked questions and cared about what she had to say.

MK knew it would make staring at the same walls and wearing the same sweater and eating the same dinner bearable. Maybe infuse her quiet life with something more.

One day, she had had enough sitting around. Nothing was fulfilling the ache; not movies or games or puttering around the apartment with the cat. The last thing she wanted to do was leave, but she had no other choice.

The bookstore was practically empty, only one or two people milling around, quietly scanning shelves.

It was perfect. Not overwhelming or crowded and she was out of the house. She was actually out.

She quickly found a book and a little corner to read, curling her legs up underneath her in the olive green, worn armchair. It didn't take long for her to get lost in another world, one filled with dragons and a knight and---

"Um, hello? Hi. Oh, sorry, did I like, scare you?"

MJ jerked her head up to see a blonde woman standing in front of her. She was amazingly overdressed and coiffed to perfection and MK's first thought was to automatically assume she was lost.

Guiltily, she pushed any kind of presumptions aside to meekly acknowledge her.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, actually," the woman tossed her hair over shoulder. She leaned in conspiratorially, voice a mock whisper.

"My ex-boyfriend was following me. Really great guy," she rolled her eyes. "Hey, want some gum?"

Before MK could respond, she was already taking a stick out of her purse and shoving it towards her, popping an unwrapped piece in her own mouth.

"Anyway," she sighed dramatically in between chews, "he like, followed me from my apartment, right? This morning. Then I managed to lose him and then I saw this place. It's the last place he'd think I'd be, right?" She laughed, wrinkling her nose. "Oh my God, it smells so musty in here. Like old books or something."

MK stared at her. "It's a bookstore."

"Oh my God, really? How crazy is that?"

She took a minute to process this information. To wrap her head around this woman.

"What can I do to help?" She asked slowly. "Are you in any danger? Should I call the police?"

The blonde laughed, waving her hand in the air. "God, no! Eddie's totally nuts but he's not dangerous. I just want him to leave me alone. Like, if he happens to come in here, you never saw me. Can you just tell him? I'm gonna stay a few more minutes."

"Sure," MK shrugged. "Wait, what's your name? In case he asks."

"Krystal," she stuck out her hand and MK shook it. "Nice to meet you. Under like, insane circumstances, right? I didn't even know bookstores still existed."

"Um, yes. They do. Uh, I'm MK."

"MK," Krystal mused, tapping manicured fingers against her chin. "Is that like, short for anything, or..."

"No. I mean, not really. I don't use my real name. Ever."

"Ever?"

MK shook her head. "Not since I was a little kid. Too many bad memories associated with it."

Krystal studied her, eyes sharp, in a way that made her squirm, as if she could see through her.

"Okay, like... don't think I'm crazy or anything, but my friends say it all the time. That I can totally read people. It's kind of a gift I have. And right now, it's telling me you need a friend, MK. You're the quiet type, but kind of...lonely."

Suddenly, she was hot, instantly flushed at Krystal's insane intuition. Either her desperation was visibly palpable or the woman in front of her was some kind of witch.

Probably both.

"Do you wanna get out of here?"

Krystal doesn't seem bothered by her inability to speak and for that, she is innately grateful.

"What about Eddie?" MK managed to squeak out. "What if he's still following you?"

"Eddie's not very smart. He probably gave up once he lost me . It's totally fine."

She gathered up her purse, sliding her sunglasses down. "Let's go get a coffee or whatever. My treat."

MK hesitated. This woman was a total stranger, she could be in a very dangerous situation. There were a hundred reasons why going somewhere with someone she just met was crazy.

"Okay," she heard herself agree. "That sounds nice, actually."

From that day, in a Starbucks, of all places, the most unlikely of friendships was born. While MK didn't exactly bear her soul over Earl Grey, she learned Krystal was kind and funny (even if unintentionally) and loyal. She learned the other woman was a manicurist and she favored 80s hair bands and she was a black belt in karate.

What was more, she liked MK's company . She wanted to spend time with her, invited her places, understood why she wasn't always able to say yes and hung out with her when she wasn't. She filled the silence when MK got quiet and didn't know quite what to say.

Not in a million years did MK ever imagine someone as charismatic and charming as Krystal could actively want her company, but there they were.

One night, as they were eating dinner at MK's place, homemade pizza, Krystal stopped mid chew, to regard her curiously.

"So, it's been a few months. You know everything about me. Like everything. And I know absolutely nothing about you. Which is fine, like...I know it's really none of my beeswax, but friends tell each other stuff, right? Do you...like not trust me?"

A pit formed in MK's stomach. "That's not it, Krystal. It's complicated."

"I don't even know your real name."

There was tinge of sadness in her normally peppy, confident tone and it hits her like a brick.

"I'm afraid."

Finally, out in the open. The fear that had been on her mind and in her heart since the day they met.

"Oh, hon," her expression immediately softened. Her hand landed on MK's kneecap. "What are you afraid of?"

"I've...I've never talked about my past. I was an orphan, Krystal. Unwanted. And since then I have basically been alone. No friends and no family. You're the first real friend I've ever had. I can't...I would never forgive myself if I mess this up."

"Hey, don't you do that. You're not going to mess anything up. I'm not going anywhere and nothing you could tell me would make me, okay?"

"I'm scared one day you'll figure out it isn't worth it." Her voice was small. "That I'm not worth it. You're so cool and beautiful and---"

"Wait, hold up. You think I'm beautiful?"

Krystal was suddenly a deep shade of pink, but she sounded absolutely flattered and to hell with it, MK thought, nodding. "Yes, I do. And I'll never understand the stupid men that take you out on dates and treat you like some commodity. You should be treated like a queen."

She knew she had said way too much and if Krystal wasn't already on the verge of leaving, she sure would now.

"MK," her name was musical in Krystal's mouth, almost pretty. No one had ever said her name like that. "Are you ---"

She glanced down at her feet. "I don't know. I've never felt that way before. Only about you."

"Sweetie," she was so tender, MK had the courage to look up. "Come here."

She paused, a deer in headlights. "I haven't been held since I was a tiny baby. I don't know how to---"

"You don't have to know," Krystal replied gently. "Just come here."

She opened her arms and MK slowly, carefully went into them. It was odd, at first, not knowing quite where to place her head or to put her arms and she imagined she was stiff and awkward but Krystal was patient, rubbing small circles on her back, humming soothingly.

After a while, she felt herself relax, vaguely sleepy and safe. Safer than she had ever felt.

"I want to tell you everything," she said softly into Krystal's shoulder. The perfume sat in her nose. "And I will..."

"I know. When you feel like you can. I know, sweetie." Krystal's lips brushed the top of her head and the motion made MK sigh. "Was that okay?"

"It's all okay."

"I totally wanna kiss you right now. I just don't wanna like...take advantage of the situation or anything."

MK lifted her head, eyes wide. "You want to kiss me?"

Krystal nodded, breathless. "Like, so bad."

"I might not be good at it."

"I don't care."

In all the old movies, MK watched, when the two protagonists finally came together, music would swell and violins would play. She wasn't naive enough to believe her first kiss would have all the same bells and whistles, if it ever did happen, but it would've been nice, all the same.

It was better. Krystal, she was better, because it was her. Her lips were soft, her hair, soft as MK's fingers ran through it and the fuzzy thought infiltrating her brain was how had she lived so long without kissing Krystal. How had she lived so long without Krystal, period.

"Wow," Krystal exhaled when they pulled away. "Are you sure you've never done that before?"

MK giggled. "Never."

"You could've fooled me."

Krystal took her into her side, holding her close. "I mean it, okay? I'm not going anywhere. And you can take your time telling me. I'm here."

The thing about living in fear meant it ran deep, lived in your bones and MK understood it probably always would.

But similar to loneliness, she knew she could find ways to combat it. Concentrating on Krystal. Her voice, her scent, her touch. She was here, now.

"Stay the night," she hears herself whisper. Soft, uncertain. Out there, anyway and she wasn't taking it back.

Krystal blinked, once and then again before a radiant smile crossed her face. "Are you sure? We don't have to --"

"I want to. You make me brave."

Krystal leaned in to kiss her again, so sweetly MK wanted to cry.

Later, when they were curled into each other, Krystal's lithe arms around her torso, she realized something had broken in her. Broken her and repaired her in rapid succession and she was brand new.

Wanted. For the very first time, wanted, no strings, no pretense.

"Veera," she said into the dark, heart exploding.

"What, honey? Veera?"

She laughed at Krystal's sleepy confusion, placing a kiss on her bare shoulder. "That's my real name."

"Veera," Krystal tried the name out for size. "I actually love it. It suits you way more than MK."

"Do you think?"

"Yeah, it's beautiful. Just like you."

And there it was again, that break, that fullness, only now, as Krystal kissed her, could she identify it.

Hope.

It was hope.

[corvidattano]

"Then i realize you're there, always were, and this stupid wave of relief washes over me."

[cystic]

UGH

[cystic]

morrowind stuff. llarks family + caius. and veera songbird & working out what her tapestry looks like.

[cystic]

i <3 abysmal dogshit of my own making

[mieczy-stiles]

highway, 2014

[gotmehookedonthekpop]

I love morally confusing characters. Some of these men had a part in what happened to Veera. At the very least, they did little to stop it. But in the end, it is clear that they loved and respected him.

This is what living in fear under violent authoritarian rule does to people. Your fear for your own safety and for the safety of your loved ones makes you compromise your morals.

We saw it happen again and again in Shine.