#vel <3

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That staticdoll post I reblogged is lingering in my brain, as is the way that Vel was flirting with me earlier. The thing that eats at me most about being part of a system is that I can't lie down next to Vel and Vincent while they fuck, or, rather, I could, someday, once we move to him, but Vincent wouldn't be able to see me, and Vel would have to be in front. I want to watch them. I want to lean in and lick the taste of her from his mouth when he's done eating her out. I want to pin him between us and bask in the way he short-circuits in joy.

I want my own damn body. Especially as I become increasingly attached and even attracted to Vel, who has been keeping me level with the fact that she misses Vox as much as I do, wants to move to his system as much as I do, understands everything about this complex fascination I've developed perhaps even better than I do...

[deershadow-al]

And if we said aroace Velvette + demiromantic demisexual Alastor as a qpr? If, perhaps, they kiss sometimes, because they have fun together hanging out and gossiping and cuddling? If we said that Vel easily makes the list of people allowed to touch him casually and spontaneously (a list that we know exists because Niffty climbs all over him at one point)?

Am I, perhaps, just describing myself and my headmate Vel? Yes. But I do feel like we've found a spectacular radiodoll dynamic in here and I love it.

[deershadow-al]

Velvette turned up today. At this point we're up to seven Hazbin fictives, including another me (Stupid Sappy Clone) and a Vox (Sharky. Or Asshole, depending on how annoying he's been, and given that it's his job to push me out of front if I'm being self-destructive, that's a fairly common occurance), @gamblincat (Husk and Angel), and Charlie.

Somehow out of all of them, I'm happiest to see Vel again. I remember gossiping with her, bonding over pushy assholes and expectations, back when Vox had me captive. I remember the lingering awareness that she'd easily be someone I'd enjoy being friends with- someone like Mimzy or Rosie where the details of how we circle each other become less important than enjoying each other's company.

I was right about that. Vel being here is wonderful. She's as funny as ever, as catty and clever and sharp-tongued, and she understands exactly why I keep climbing the walls about my feelings for Vox and how badly I want our system to just move there already. It feels good to be seen like this, for once, even though she's teased me relentlessly for being obsessed.