thinking about gator who’s fallen for the local farmers daughter 5k+
Since Roy was the way he was, he wanted the finest, freshest meat and dairy produce that was in town, taking Gators patrol time away to go fetch them.
He didn’t meet you the first few times he visited, only handing money to your father and collecting what he paid for.
It was always early in the morning, messing his schedule, and setting him in a terrible mood for the rest of the day.
He finally met you one morning where he had nothing to do, so he decided to get it over with. The sun was starting to rise and he felt a twisted feeling in his stomach, and not the good kind. His body was always guarded up regardless.
He pulled up in his big and flashy truck, hat firm on his head and eyes direct.
The tires skidded across the dirt when he turned and looked at the porch of the farmers house. White wooden walls, plants in the front, and a nice yellow bench swing just in front of the windows.
And you.
His eyes only widened slightly, mostly out of shock because he never knew the only well farmer in town had a daughter. One that looked close to his age, that was.
He started to fumble with the wallet on his lap, wanting to just drive away when he realized he was way too early. He didn’t want to talk to some girl. You probably didn’t know much about the farm, probably spent all day flipping through magazines like you were doing just now.
He cleared his throat and started to take off the thigh holster that had his gun. He didn’t want you scared, didn’t want you annoyingly screaming this time of morning. He didn’t care. He still bit the inside of his cheek.
His feet dragged as he hesitantly walked over to the front porch, leaning over the wood and peering over what you were doing. He tried not to smile smugly at how you didn’t even look up at him.
“Hello.” He says.
You look up, see his uniform and his badge, and blink your eyes back down.
“My daddy’s not here.”
He was taken aback by your voice. Well, not really. It was soft, gentle and practically laced by innocence- and you looked like the type. That morning you wore fuzzy socks, short and small plaid pj shorts that was peeking through your silk sleep shirt.
“Looks like it.” He mumbles, “can’t I just tell you what I ordered and ya grab it?”
You looked up at him again, eyes finally meeting his. You saw how they were hazel and filled with tension and rigidness. Like they’ve looked that way for years, never released or calm.
“I don’t know where he keeps his things.” Your eyes flickered back and forth with his. He did the same. “He’ll be here around lunch.”
“Fuck.. fine. Yeah. Just let him know I’ll be here round that time.”
“Okay.” You say before looking back down, flipping a page.
He stayed quiet and glared at you, watched you in a certain way. He didn’t know if it was good or bad. You were pretty, sure, your body and face so soft that it made him question the type of girl he desired. Something along the lines of you, he imagined. He watched you some more, expecting maybe a glance, maybe another chance for him to insist on getting his order.
This was all his dads fault, wasting his time and energy instead of working.
Gator huffed and quickly went back to his truck after that, not bothering to look at the porch again when he drove away. He didn’t know what to think, his mind clouded, but he for sure wasn’t expecting a girl like you.
——
A few months passed and Gator was convinced his life was changed for good. Some bad moments shined into his life, though, like always.
He found himself arriving at your farm while the sun rose, so he could see the lace curtains of your bedroom open and your warm lamp flicker on. He’d quietly wait for you just outside, leaning against the white wood while you routinely sat down on the bench across from him.
Conversations flowed about nothing, quiet but calming as your voice coaxed him from morning sleepiness.
You would talk about stupid things. What you two liked, sweet memories, and it was easy to joke around with him. Your friends painted a picture of Gator, a guy you needed to stay away from and who’s heart was stone cold. They were wrong, apparently. Because the Gator in front of you was smiling up to his eyes, his laughs a bit more high pitched.
It was hard at first, earning his way into your life. He was still snarky in some moments, still full of attitude. It slowly started to leave. But you never seemed to mind. It confused him.
He quickly learned the girl you were, and for the first time, he didn’t batter up his walls and pretend he didn’t care. Because he cared so much that it hurt his heart. Gator knew you didn’t deserve him. With your cute little socks and your babydoll dresses, compared to his rough hands and gun hiding in his truck.
He learned the sensitivity that always lingered in your personality, how you preferred quiet over loud, warm over cold. He stopped scowling like he usually did, and he didn’t think you were weak for being soft and codependent.
Deep down, he knew he wanted someone like that. He wanted someone to love and to come home too, kissing tears and comforting them to sleep. He’d never felt that before.
Some nights where his mind was clouded with his dad, he thought back to you. To the day something shifted.
It was early morning again. The farm felt still, the soft chimes on the patio singing delicately into the summer air. He saw you like usual, curled up in a ball, your lips parted and smushed to your knee. You were asleep.
Somehow you fell asleep with a book in hand, your pretty pajamas still on.
You stirred awake to the noise of his boots crunching on the ground, face flooding with embarrassment when you realized he saw how you looked fresh from slumber.
“Mornin’”. He said.
You blinked tiredly.
He only chuckled and gave you a smile that didn’t seem malicious.
When he said gruffly bye to you with bags in his hands, it seemed like he already forgot. He never mentioned it again days after, didn’t tease. Your heart settled at that.
He honestly surprised himself. It took almost years for someone to finally make Gator feel a tinge of happiness, of contentment outside of his job. He tried to stay tough every day though, regardless of this change. He knew his harsh demeanor wasn’t for attention, for pity, it was for himself.
He didn’t know how to navigate without it.
He was still stubborn when he wanted to be. It quickly escaped him the moment you fluttered your eyelashes up at him and gave him the most delicate smile he’s ever seen. For once, Gator Tillman’s cheeks turned pink.
“Hey honeybee.” He mumbles with a small smirk, when it was really a smile in disguise.
He managed to escape his afternoon patrol, something he would rather die than do, so he could drive over to the farm and see you. If his dad ever found out, he’d never let it go, yelling that he had gone to soft for some girl who never even left the house. He didn’t even have produce to pick up. He got it that morning.
He started to ask Roy about the orders, what time, how many days of the week. Gator cherished every given moment.
He knew why he was doing all this, waking up every early morning to the thought of you, your voice, how his voice changed around you.
He liked you. Deeply and scarily. Even after knowing you for 3 months.
Gator didn’t know what it was that brought you and him to this relationship, so close. Your different personalities clashed so beautifully and easily that it exploded into one.
“Hi Gate.” Your smile was so wide, it made your face glow.
He was leaning against the doorframe of your house, your dad not home because of some other business with property. Your father enjoyed the deal he had going on with Roy, and he found Gator respectful. But he’s obviously noticed the string between you and Gator, and it wasn’t rare when he reminded you over dinner to watch out for him. You’d agree and tell him empty promises, only for you to go up to your room and call Gator over the phone.
He would tell you he was thinking about you, and at first it was hard to believe, maybe he was just messing around with you out of boredom.
But the calls would extend late into night, simply listening to your breathing or your whispered goodnight.
It felt like he’s known you his whole life.
“Hm, I smell cinnamon.” He looks behind you.
You nod and shyly let him in.
“M’ startin to think you just come here for food.” You teased but you had a pout, “and my daddy’s gross meat.”
He chuckles. “Ya know damn well that’s not why I come here.”
“Oh, yeah?”
He spins around. Gator hums in response and laces his arm around you, skin warm against his. You two have had close touches like this, hand holding and hugging. But it was never out in public, out for others to see. It was on your porch early in the morning, just outside his truck, or moments like these. When no one was around expect him.
His fingers thread with your baby blue dress, slipping just under the strap.
“Bought this the other day.” You admit quietly after some seconds.
But he wasn’t even looking at the dress, not the way it clung perfectly to your hips like he’s always imagined you. He was looking at your face, your plumpy pink lips and your eyes blinking up at him.
“Looks real pretty on ya.” He hums again.
You couldn’t pinpoint what this tension was. It always lingered between you two, but your grasp escaped his whenever it felt too close. Too real.
“You know… I’ve actually never seen you outside of your scary uniform.”
He tilts his head and smirks.
“You sayin’ you want it off?”
Your face turns red and you gently shove him off you. “Shut up, weirdo.” Your hand was still laced with his as he followed you to the kitchen.
Quiet romantic music played on the radio in your kitchen, the dishwasher was running, and you sat on the counter with Gator standing right next to you. There was silence between you two as you ate your cinnamon buns, his fingers gently tapping to the music on your knee.
He was talking about his morning and how an officer spilled coffee on him, earning the sweetest laugh out of you. Gator thought it must’ve been physically impossible to look away from you.
“Holy hell, your smile hon.” He whistles, still a little shy. “Cutest I’ve ever seen.”
It grew wider.
“I like yours. The way your lips look when you do.”
“Nah, I look dumb as shit when I smile.”
“Not possible, Gate.” You peck his shoulder that was close to your mouth, “You’re very handsome.”
He looked down at the counter and bit the inside of his cheek to stop another smile creeping in.
It was always like this over the phone, or in real life even if it was just for five minutes. He cherished every word you said rather than ignoring it and denying. You two continued to talk here and there, mouths full with frosting and thoughts stormed your mind with him. How he smelled like deep piney wood, a strand of hair slowly falling over his forehead, eyes shinning instead of it’s dullness.
“When’d ya get this?” He feels your finger gently trace a bruise just under his jaw.
His eyes flicker to yours and he saw your frown. He usually didn’t feel bad when someone cared about him, because he never allowed it to happen. Somehow, he wish he never got hurt so he didn’t have to see the way your eyes fell at the sight.
“Just last night. Dad got me jumbled up with some guys on this case.” He says, “doesn’t hurt though.”
The lie was only proven wrong when he softly winced at how tender it was, even under your light touch.
“Does he work you a lot?”
“…No.” He huffs and looks down at his purple knuckles, stretching out his hand and squeezing air, “he doesn’t put me on enough. I want more.”
“I feel like you get hurt every single time.”
“Comes with the job, bee. Can’t do anything bout it”
You stay quiet, too quiet, so he looks back at you. Your eyes seemed to never leave his figure and he wasn’t sure how to react. All this time, he’s bottled his rage about his father, about how he desired to be admired and accomplished. He felt like expressing it made him seems like a daddy’s boy, following around his orders. Somehow, the way you seeped your way into his heart made him forget the reasons why he was like that in the first place.
That afternoon he left before your father got home, walking with you to his truck.
That was the first time you kissed him. Well, not on his lips, but a part of him wished it was. He pushed the feeling away. You kissed him just below his bruise so it didn’t press, and then another one just above it, your feet tipped in reach.
He was painfully aware of his tense shoulders and neck, unaware that a moment like this meant he could relax. He still didn’t, but god he wished it did. He wanted to be good for you.
His cheeks felt warm but you didn’t seem to notice.
“Just know that someone cares, Gator.” You whisper, reading his mind. “Call me like ya always do, okay? Don’t be stubborn and hold back.”
He smiled faintly at that because how could an innocent girl like you know him better than himself?
“I’ll try.”
Your frown from a few minutes ago was still there, but it slowly curved up, although it was hard to believe him. He knew you were a concerned, that’s just how you were when you cared deeply about someone. He felt lucky thst specific someone was him.
“…Okay. Be safe.”
He nods, squeezes your hand one last time before hopping up into the drivers seat. You give him a small wave as he drives off and he let out a shaky breath he’s been holding the moment he arrived.
He knew right then that he was done for.
——
It happened so soon, over whispers along town and discussions over the dinner table. That Gator Tillman was flirting with the farmers pure hearted daughter. That he was corrupting her and changing her path for the future, that he was too violent and snarky to be hanging around you.
Eventually, your dad found out.
You tried not to think about the night where he yelled at you like never before, banning you completely from Gator. Your dad called off his arrangement with Roy, little to know explanation being told to him, but he did it coldly.
You cried into your pillow that night, a warm lamp on and your door locked. Why’d it feel like a piece of you was ripped away? Had you fallen that easily, gotten so attached? It felt silly in a way, but so very right, because he was the one who truly understood you. The one who made you squeal like a little girl.
There was no possible way you could be seen with him again. The whole town was looking out for you, while they looked away from him. You felt helpless.
Your eyelids grew heavy when your phone started to ring. You quickly answered it and you heard it.
Gator’s breath shuddered.
In his room, out on the ranch, he felt a new feeling of devastation. Roy took his anger out on him, like always, and Gator did what was normal for him now. Call you. He just wished it was for different reasons.
“G-Gator.” You whine in desperation and you two knew what this was about.
“I hate this stupid fuckin’ town, always talkin bout other peoples business.” He immediately said, “I mean, w-who the fuck cares about us? We should only care.”
You stayed quiet on the other end and he noticed it, but he was so upset about the ties cut loose that he couldn’t stop. He took breaths in between, his fingers stained with salty tears that were slowly escaping him.
He didn’t know it’d hurt this much, especially since you two weren’t even dating. Hadn’t even confessed.
“I’m sorry.” You hiccup.
“What are ya sorry for, bun? Don’t be.”
“I- You were just a… a customer and I b-brought myself into your l-life. I feel awful.”
“Hey hey, no.” You heard his sheets shuffle and you knew you two paralleled.
Messy bed, tears staining the cotton, looking out the window for what could’ve been.
“Don’t think like that, ever, okay? I- hell… I’m glad how we turned out, ya know? I like what we have.”
He admits with hesitance in his voice. He’s never openly said he liked the concept of you and him, and it made your stomach turn inside out.
“You do?”
“Course’ I do. It’s the best moment of my day, seeing you sittin pretty on the porch with that smile, all for me. It makes me feel better, not like I got dragged in.”
You let out a sob at that, not even feeling embarrassed that you were crying over being separated like a teenage girl. Something in your gut told you that your daddy was wrong.
“You make me so happy, Gator. Happiest I’ve ever been.”
He groans.
“Shit, honeybee, don’t say stuff like that. Not right now.”
His mind couldn’t wrap around what was happening. He had this girl on the phone, sobbing her eyes out because she missed him. He missed you so badly, even if it’s been a day, but it made his heart ache and burn.
You seemed to have wanted him, needed him like air, just like he needed you. It was new and it suddenly washed over him way too fast. He felt like crying again.
“I don’t know what to do.” You say weakly. “D-Daddy’s got me stayin’ here. I can’t even go outside cus of us.”
He thought for a split second, already grabbing his keys that rested on his nightstand. He changed into some quick, not his uniform, and he didn’t even bother to slick back his hair. He felt raw, exposed, but in the best way.
“We’ll figure something out, I promise.” He says sternly, “Stay in your room. I’ll be there in 10.”
“Gator wha-” He hung up and you stared at your blank screen.
When he got to your house in five minutes, it was dark inside, except for the familiar orange light that peered just inside your room upstairs. It seemed like you’ve been waiting this whole time, lace curtains pushed back to see him. You’ve never snuck out before. This was wrong. Dangerous. Your dad’s reputation of being the best farmer could get ruined by a reckless daughter who snuck out with the sheriffs son.
You reached for your phone and texted him.
‘Meet me at the back door.’
You saw bubbles appear and disappear, only for him to respond with a thumbs up emoji. Despite your heart racing out of your body, it seemed to calm you down. It was Gator, after all. Your feet gently padded against the wooden floors as you tipped downstairs, wearing nothing but small shorts and a big shirt, shivers running down your spine.
“Hey- okay, okay.” He lost his footing when you rushed and lunged towards him, sobbing uncontrollably into his neck.
You’ve never been this close. With your bare legs brushing against his jeans and his warm hands sliding under your shirt. He breathed into your neck and he stiffened, trying to stay strong. He tried so hard.
“Don’t cry, bun, the world ain’t ending.” He pleas.
It seemed like his desperation wasn’t helping, so he gently tugged you to start walking, pressing his lips to the side of your head.
“Let’s go to my truck, yeah? I’ll take us somewhere quiet.”
You nodded and hiccuped between tears, his arm around you while wiping your wet cheeks with his thumb. You felt like your body was weighing down on you, like the whole world just collapsed over a boy. But he wasn’t just that, and you knew it. He was an opening to a life you’ve always wanted, romantically free.
——
It was quiet, still, cold. Gator brought you to a far expanded creek that was just on the edge of town, covered in trees and seeping into the moonlight. He’s told you about this specific spot the first month he knew you, confessing he’d often go at night to clear his clouded head.
Your legs were draped over his lap, feeling the gruffness of the denimn. His fingers trailed up and down your legs like feathers, gulping down all the words he wanted to say. That he’s gained feelings for you that he’s never felt before, that his heart flipped when he saw you.
“Was your dad upset?” You whisper timidly.
“That the deal cut off? Yeah. He was too disappointed to talk about… us, so he just ignored me.” He says, “Your daddy didn’t hurt ya, did he?”
“No.”
“…I’d go right now and end all of ‘em, the ones spreadin rumors bout what we got.”
You turn your head and look at him, the straight line of his nose and how it glowed under the moon. You wanted to ask him, tell him, what did you two have? It sure felt intimate right now, with his fingers trailing just under your shorts but never more. You noticed his two little moles that paired close to each other, his hair falling foward.
After looking at him, you said, “You’re not in your uniform.”
He wore normal dark blue jeans, a dark plain shirt over him with a brown jacket on. He looked soft, comforting. It made your lower stomach feel funny, legs pressed together.
He smirks faintly and gently squeezes your thigh, turning to look at you.
“M’ supposed to wear it anytime I go out. Doesn’t really bother me, it’s Roy’s rules. Heavy as shit, though.”
But from the gleam in his eye, the way his frown stayed, told you otherwise. Your eyebrows furrow at his response, slowly leaning foward and running your fingers through his hair, crusty and raw from day old gel. His eyes fluttered shut and his light touches stopped, like he became completely undone by you.
“You don’t regret it?” You whisper.
“What?”
“Comin’ back every morning. Before my daddy was even up.”
He scoffs and shakes his head, eyes opening again and squinting towards the water.
“Look at where were at right now.” He says softly but firmly, “I don’t have a damn regret. Haven’t had one these past few months.”
You sit there for a while. “I don’t regret it either. Getting- getting to know you.”
He hummed.
“I remember you said I was scary the second time I saw ya. Almost broke ma heart, bun.”
You swat his arm and he chuckled at that, his eyes flickering to yours. You two held eye contact for a split second, before you rolled them shyly and looked at the trees.
“That’s because you had a gun against you.”
“Ah, that stupid thing.” He mumbles, “I don’t really have a choice in this type of place.”
You two played and fidgeted with each others hands, listening to his soft voice as he recalled memories of childhood at that very creek. You could hear his small smile when he talked. You never looked away. He knew he needed this, needed his mind to be filled with the sight of your face and past stories that made him lighter.
It felt like it all happened in one second. The jacket that he here wore was eventually wrapped around you, his smell bringing a comfort you didn’t understand. He could still tell that you were upset, your hands tense like you needed something closer.
You ended up on his lap.
His nose brushed against your jaw as your face grew inches apart from his.
“So that’s where you got this from?” You giggle at the little scar just under his chin when he recalled an accident.
“Oh god honeybee, thanks for lettin’ me know you’ve noticed it this whole time.”
“No it’s not bad! It’s small but very… manly?”
He laughed at that, a genuine one, and his fingers twisted with yours. You wish you could stay in this moment forever, where your eyes danced around his in a long tensioned dance.
“I was the stupidest kid, really, whole town laughed at it. Still am.”
You shake your head and gently lean foward to cup his cheek, facing his gaze towards you.
“You’re anythin but stupid, Gator Tillman.” You whisper. “It’s the total opposite of that. I’ve seen it with my very own eyes.”
“Damn pretty eyes.”
“Gator, m’ serious!” You giggle, hair fallen foward to which he tugged behind.
“Fine, serious girl. Maybe I got the smarts from you.”
You roll your eyes and bury yourself in him, your shorts riding up and allowed his hand to rest there. You’ve never felt someone this warm. This good. He was like a blanket, and you were melting into it by the second. He seemed to notice the subtle shift, his demeanor growing quiet and soft, fingers tracing your thigh.
You slightly pull away to look at him, nose nudging his.
“You’re so warm.” You hum.
“My serious girl is warm, huh?”
“Mhm.”
For once in a while, he didn’t doubt you. Because he could see it in your eyes, the way you looked and sounded. You were actually craving his touch, actually tugging him closer because you liked it and wanted it.
He liked it too. He wanted it, wanted you. It scared him.
Before he could even respond, you dipped your head and started to place tender kisses along his jaw. They were deep and lasting, making a quiet sound each time you pulled away. All over his cheeks, his jaw, near his eyes, whispering what you wished you said before about how much you liked his face.
It was like he couldn’t take it anymore.
He slightly nudged his face away, scanned your features, and moved your hair away. Then, his lips met yours.
You let out a soft noise in surprise but quickly melted in his arms when you realized that this was very real. That Gator was breathing in through his nose by how deep he was kissing you, latching your upper lip into his mouth and softly sucking. It felt new to him, kissing someone with actual purpose and gentleness. But with you, it felt like he’s done this a thousand times.
“Fuck.” His voice vibrates down your throat.
And it felt physically impossible for him to stop. He kissed all along your jaw and around your face, your eyes fluttering shut in the pure pleasure of his warm lips on you. Your back arched beneath his hands and he tugged you closer, fingers just etching under the back of your shorts.
You two finally pulled back, and he almost wanted to cry.
You were glowing.
The moon was just perfectly behind you, but shinning you at the same time, highlighting the glisten of your lips. You looked kissed stupid, which you were, your chest heaving up and down. It was a soft, intimate moment, and he craved to press against you.
You slowly leaned forward and gently pushed back a loose strand of his hair, kissing his forehead in the process.
That’s when his eyes started to swell. So he quickly tugged you closer and kissed you again.
It was so slow. His lips slotted like a puzzle to yours, pillowing against you and purely taking his breath away, hands sliding deep into your hair. And when you continued to kiss him back, you tasted a mix of him and salt, your cheeks starting to feel slick.
You pulled away with furrowed eyebrows and saw it. His eyes were glossy and his face was wet.
“Oh, Gate.” You whisper, wiping them away with your thumb, “it’s just me, don’t worry.”
He started to sniff again at your understanding for him. He’s never felt something so real, so pure, and you could tell how deeply it was affecting him.
“Shit, I- fuck.. sorry.” He mumbles, “I’m not cryin’.”
“You don’t have to hide it, it’s okay.”
He shakes his head like all he’s ever done was wrong. “No it’s not. We’re over here kissin and ‘m actin like a baby.”
You stayed quiet and let his last tears fall down his pink cheeks. He hated when people saw tears, and just watched him as he grew more upset and emotional. It didn’t seem to wrong when you did, the way your eyes were gentle and patient.
“Let’s stay here tonight. Okay?” You whisper and all he does was nod, his bottom lip slightly sticking out.
“…Thank you.”
He stayed quiet for a long time, replaying all those sweet moments where you actually enjoyed when he was around. He remembered the way it made him feel seen, like him being there wasn’t something to scowl at.
It escaped him faster than light.
“I like you a lot.” He whispers gruffly.
You blink at him.
He takes a heavy deep breath, knowing that you were letting him continue. “And it… it scares me. I’ve never felt this safe round anyone before, like I can finally relax. I spent my whole damn life isolating myself to focus of work, on my dad. Now I have you, a part of you, and I’ve never wanted to be around someone more. I just… I wish I could take all those years back when I buried myself alone- and I.. I wanna open to you. I’ll try my damn hardest because you deserve that. I’ll try so hard for you.”
Tears started to form in your eyes now, and you looked away out of embarrassment. He just opened his heart out to you, his view, and it was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard.
“Gator…” You whisper proudly.
He gives you a flat, shy look. “I said something dumb, didn’t I.”
“No no god, no. You said everything just perfect.”
“Then why you cryin?” His lips reach to kiss them away.
“Cus I like you too.” Your voice shakes, “a lot lot.”
He chuckles quietly at that, his smile reaching his eyes and with his ears turning pink. He couldn’t strain his eyes away from you and you curled up like a flustered little girl.
“Stop.”
“What?”
“Doing that! Staring at me.”
“You wanna know somethin?”
“Oh no.” You bit back your smile.
He leans foward and gently cups your ear, his lips brushing against it, “…You’re pretty.”
The gesture, his rough voice, was so dear that you wondered if this was even real. You never imagined something this romantic would happen to you after staying at the farm. But there was Gator, looking untouched and himself all because of you.
With the nerve wracking confessions finally done, it was only left with one ending. Sealing the whispered words off with a kiss, so tender that he felt like the world was given to him right then and there.
It was around midnight when everything started to settle, when the summer heat turned mild and breezy. He was emotionally exhausted, filled with feelings for you, and it wore him down. You reassured him a lot after that, and he kissed you in between each word.
Eventually you fell asleep with your face nuzzled into his neck, wrapped in his jacket and listening to the sounds of crickets and gentle water. He held you tighter, eyes trained on the ground as he just thought. You were here, in his arms, away from all the drama at home that was slowly forcing him away from you. He kissed your forehead one last time. He lulled to sleep shortly after, making sure you were completely safe and sleeping against him, like he couldn’t relax until you were.
Gator Tillman knew you. He had you.
And he was finally ready to love.
——
𖦹 holy shit i genuinely reached a flow state because i just love gator so much like pleaseeee i need him
i also miss stranger things so much i tear up anytime i think about it come back to me