I swear one day editing will be the death of me #writing #essay #nonfiction #memoirs #whyamievendoingthis #autisticwriter #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #editing #ihateeverything #ok #ventover #backtoyourregularlyscheduledprogram #thanksfolks

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I swear one day editing will be the death of me #writing #essay #nonfiction #memoirs #whyamievendoingthis #autisticwriter #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #editing #ihateeverything #ok #ventover #backtoyourregularlyscheduledprogram #thanksfolks
More like #wait an #hour before going into a room and then another 2 hours before the #doctor comes in only to spend 5 minutes and then spend another 30 minutes before you can leave just to spend another hour at the #pharmacy because the doctor's #office #staff couldn't do their job right the first time by sending over the correct #medicine and by the time I get home I'm so #exhausted due to a #panicattack that the doctor's office cause me to have because I had to #fight with them on the phone just so they do their job correctly that I passed out for the rest of the day. My #day has been #ruined #ventover (at Bono, Arkansas)
I know I am being petty. I had a moment because I am so hurt not for me but for my son. You say you don't have money to see your son or help out financially but you can order out, get tattoos, drink and smoke weed. Seriously that money could be going to my child. Every penny I have goes to my Zaire. I barely have money for myself because Zaire comes first. I been with Zaire dad for over two years and I was a fool in love. All the signs was there and I didn't want to see it because I focused on the best parts of him. Zaire is the greatest blessing ever and I will always do right by Zaire. I won't be like other parents who bash the other parent to the child. When Zaire gets age appropriate I will tell him the truth. #FedUpMother #LessonLearned #MySonIsMyGreatestBlessing #DeadBeatDad #VentOver
Hold, the way that you hold me is not the way you would when you were scared to leave me. You would hold me soo tight it would me so safe and loved. I look for that same feeling from you but I don't feel it. It's like you are not the same person anymore. ☹️
I know that once good things start to happen, something bad will bring that hype down. But for the moment id like to brag. Besides all the sickness in my family, we are happy. We are so much closer - all of us. After 3 years of hard work I'm finally where I want to be. I've got a long way to go and I'm so excited to take the journey. I got accepted into business management, a diploma. 2 years and I'll have so much more understanding about what goes on in the background. Give me 5 years and I guarantee I'll be owning a franchise. Fucking bring it. I'm smitten. I'm so smitten over this girl it's sickening. It's been a year since I've been so excited to see someone and to talk to someone. Financially, I'm getting there. And it's so good. The fact I can open my wallet and help my parents out is the best feeling. I have the most amazing friends. They're not always smart about things, they don't see how silly there drama is and they live too far away but at the end of the day if I text them and I need them, they're there. Not to mention my amazing best friend who is so god damn beautiful. I think that's it.. For now 😀
I feel like Im slowly rotting away...
Rotting away from peoples memories, rotting away from their lives... Like my mind & body are just rotting away, & i feel so helpless cause i have no control over it... Soon I wont even be a thought or a even a memory to anyone... So what's the point?
Just an update in my sad little life: My Italian instructor sent out a lovely little email this afternoon that said he would cancel the rest of the semester of classes if he did not have 100% attendance for class tomorrow.
I need this class to graduate. I am supposed to graduate in December. I am usually the only person who shows up for class.
If I have to postpone graduation until spring, fireballs will shoot from my eyeballs.
Venting. Still not happening.
So I don't know why my life has gone so down hill this past month, I was doing so good mentally, and i feel as though every bad this that could possibly happen to me has happened, and it took me right back to stage 1, I'm a mess, and I feel so damn frustrated I let myself go after I was going so well :(