for eleven long years, nathaniel was able to hide the truth. it wasn’t easy at times. sometimes voices spoke to him when no one was listening. sometimes he could see things that weren’t there. sometimes, he’d feel his heart begin to palpitate as he remembered. he remembered that night when he disappeared at the age of thirteen, a whole weekend of his life - gone. the question of whether his memories of said weekend were.... true. the reticent, the stoic, the closed off man now had his entire history laid out bare to all of st etienne. nathaniel was forcing himself to swallow the pill of anxiety swirling in his mouth. no one cares enough about him, nathaniel thought. it doesn’t matter. but only, it did. work colleagues would laugh him out of the lab. future employers, whenever a background check come up - no doubt the sadistic killer would ensure a trace of his past would catch up with him. entwine with him, forever entrenched in every step nathaniel took forevermore. people wondered sometimes why nate, with his capacity and intelligence, landed upon astrophysics. well, now they knew.
nathaniel had been attending the opening of the art gallery for his best friend, who’d insisted their presence was ‘mandatory’. nate had absolutely no interest in art beyond classical musical, and perhaps brush strokes from the renaissance. he had no interest in the modernism placed before him that very night. but before he could spend even a moment devouring each piece in cynicism, the deafening wave of beeps sounded throughout the exhibition hall. it was lucky that nathaniel was a speed reader - he was able to make his escape before any eyes were able to connect with his.
the blistering autumn was nothing to the storm that was tearing nathaniel’s insides asunder. sneaking out an emergency exit to a dark alleyway, the academic (perhaps... former academic) began to pace fervently, his hands knotted in the short wisps of his hair. his breath was heavy, and he found himself crouching and holding his head - preventing the spinning any further. the rage burning up inside, despising the true coward sitting behind a computer screen. implying he could... he could ever kill daisey. it was too much. it was too much. in a fit of rage, nathaniel screamed as he grabbed a stray garbage can and threw it with all his might at the door, trash hailing down before him. kicking the can again for good measure, it was then he noticed that the door was open ajar, and that a set of eyes were peaking through. nathaniel couldn’t see them, but he stared right into the gap in the door - defeated. “sorry, the sideshow’s fucking over.” despite the way his chest heaved as he rapidly exhaled breath, nathaniel shook ever so slightly as he looked down to the ground, pained. “if you excuse me, i must... i must go. go enjoy the pathetic excuse of an artshow instead.” the academic, known for not having emotions, was doing his best to hold back tears. but instead, he kicked the garbage can one more time - for good measure.
