The Ghost of My Life
Vesper arrives to lead Amaryllis to the answers they seek
[part eleven of Come What May]
words: 3k
cw: memory loss, animal injury
accompaniment
-☽☼☾-
Amaryllis is ready to strangle Asra when he whispers to them at breakfast the next morning, telling them to meet him at the palace’s fountain after breakfast with Nadia.
They don't really care why he and Vesper are here, just that they're here at all, meddling in their investigation, meddling in their business with Nadia. Out of all the opportunities Asra has had to answer their questions, he chose now.
Amaryllis meets him anyways, at the fountain, his skin glistening against the early morning sunshine. It’s far too early for what little sleep they got last night.
“It was good to see Nadi again. She hasn't changed much.” Asra murmurs, a false pleasantly, as he gazes deep into the fountain.
Amaryllis notes the lack of familiarity in the way Nadia had interacted with Asra, both at dinner and at breakfast. “So you knew her.”
“She doesn't remember me. Her memories are missing. A lot like yours.” His expression holds an air of nostalgia.
“I feel like you're the only one not missing anything.”
“I’m missing more than you think.”
“I'm not even going to bother asking.”
Asra sighs. “But that's not why I asked you here. You and Ilya are trying to figure out what happened that night, right?”
“I am. Julian, not so much. He’s set in believing what he wants to about what happened. Whatever makes him look like the villian.”
“That… sounds about Ilya. Why are you bothering to help him, then?”
“I’m not helping him. I’m using him to get answers. There’s too many coincidences, Asra. The timeline, the memory loss, Lucio.”
“What about Lucio?”
“His ghost haunts these halls. There's a painting, of me, in his wing. He insisted I had something to do with his death.”
“Amie… have you told Nadia?”
“No. You're the only one who would believe me. Julian knows, but only because he saw it for himself.”
“That's… concerning.”
“Oh, really? I thought it might be the typical goings on around here.”
“I've come to the realization that even if I have the answers you seek, I can't give them to you. I'm going to have Vesper take you somewhere you might find some.”
-☽☼☾-
“So, are you gonna bring your boytoy?” Vesper finally breaks the silence, as Amaryllis leads him through the palace gardens.
“He's not my boytoy.”
“But you knew who I meant.” They don't need to see his grin to know it's there.
Amaryllis sighs. “For now, I’d like to find Portia.”
“That cute little redhead from breakfast? I'd like to find her too.”
They groan. “Will you knock it off? It’s this way.” Amaryllis turns a corner, leading Vesper through the gardens to Portia’s cottage.
It isn't much longer until they arrive, but it feels like ages thanks to Vesper’s incessant blabbering.
As the pair of siblings approach the cottage, all is quiet, and Amaryllis knocks on the door softly.
It opens to reveal none other than Julian, as soon as their fist makes contact.
“Amaryllis? Funny finding you here! I was just, uh. Expecting Pasha?”
“Because Pasha would knock on the door of her own home, of course.”
“Right. Well. Then I suppose you're looking for me.”
“Unfortunately.” Amaryllis steps to the side, gesturing to the man beside them. “Julian, this is my brother, Vesper.”
“Salut tout le monde,” Vesper holds a hand out, shaking Julian’s eagerly. “Tu ne m'as pas dit à quel point il était beau.”
“Ferme ta bouche.” Amaryllis tells him, nudging Vesper in the side. “Anyways. Apparently Vesper can lead us to someone who has answers. I’d prefer to go without you, but It’s better if someone is keeping an eye on you.”
-☽☼☾-
Julian is eager to tag along, practically jumping out the door to follow Vesper’s lead.
Vesper is vague on where exactly he’s taking them, only asking Amaryllis to show them the way off the palace grounds and into the forest. From there, he and Julian walk together while they trail behind, the two becoming fast friends, much to their disdain. They pretend to be grateful Julian’s attention isn't on them, but everytime they catch Vesper saying something flirtatious to him, it only adds to their ire.
Their conversation disrupts the otherwise eerie, but peaceful, silence of the forest. Amaryllis just trails behind them, with Styx to keep them company, focusing on anything else but the annoying duo in front of them.
Vesper leads them deeper and deeper into the dark woods, into parts Amaryllis has only managed to venture into a handful of times, in search of flowers or other rare herbs.
Eventually, they approach a small clearing, and immediately Amaryllis senses a change in the air— magic.
There's a protection spell cast over the entire clearing, and Vesper has stopped the group at the boundary of it. He traces a few runes into the air, disarming it to let them pass. Once they're all through, he reengages it with a different set of symbols.
“Vesper, where are we?” Amaryllis asks. They aren't familiar with this area of the woods, or this type of magic.
“A friend of mine lives here.” He gestures across the clearing, where a gigantic, centuries old, sprawling tree stands. There's a cottage built into the hollowed out base of it. “He’s not going to be happy that I've brought you two along.” Vesper explains. “He’s not home, but we can wait for him inside. He won’t like that either, but I’ll make it all up to him later.” Vesper winks, and Amaryllis sees Julian go red out of the corner of their eye.
In a moment, they're going to be seeing red.
Vesper saunters over to the front door, having no problem opening it despite the protection spell engraved into it. Amaryllis examines the carvings, and the base of the spell they’re able to identify as Asra’s work.
“This is where Asra sends you all the time.” Amaryllis says as they follow Vesper inside, Julian trailing behind.
“Guilty.”
Inside is more inviting than Amaryllis assumed it would be. The mystery man’s home is spacious, with surprisingly high ceilings, with branches from the tree above cross-crossing through the rafters. There’s a large, unmade bed pressed up against the far corner, and bookshelves full of knick-knacks line the walls. At the front of the room is a large fireplace, and next to it a kitchen, even bigger than the one in the shop. It’s impressive, all the work someone clearly put into making this place into the perfect home.
Vesper strips off his boots and lights the fireplace from across the room casually, as if he lived here himself. “Make yourselves comfortable,” he says, struggling his way onto the bed. “Just not as comfortable as me. And don't touch anything. I'm already pushing enough of Muriel’s boundaries as is.”
Amaryllis decides to take a closer look around, their hands clasped behind their back. Julian takes a seat at the dining table.
“So, this, Muriel will be able to give us answers about the night Lucio was killed? Who is he anyway?” Julian asks.
“He’s a friend of mine and Asra’s. That’s all you need to know. As for what he knows, I don't know. Asra just told me to bring you guys to him.”
“Why you, instead of Asra?” Amaryllis asks.
“Asra thought I’d be the better option for many reasons, number one being I can get away with more when it comes to Muri.” Vesper sits up to address Amaryllis. “Number two, you were cranky on the walk with just me and Julian. All hell would have broken loose with Asra here.”
Amaryllis crosses their arms in front of their chest. “I was not cranky.”
“Oh really? So I can flirt with Julian here all I want and you won't be mad?”
“I don't know, how would ‘Muri’ feel about you flirting with other men?”
“Touché.”
Suddenly, the front door is kicked in and a large figure steps through it. Vesper shoots up in the bed, and even Julian rises from his seat.
The man makes eye contact with Amaryllis first.
“What— what are you doing here?” he asks, eyeing them, voice far softer than expected. Amaryllis finds him familiar, but it's not the same intensity as they'd felt with Julian and Nadia.
“Muri, Asra told me to bring them here. They have questions for you— wait, what are you carrying?” Vesper hops down from the bed to rush over to Muriel, examining the bundle of cloth in his arms.
“Not now, I’m busy. Get out.” Muriel tears his gaze away from Amaryllis to look at Vesper. “We'll talk about this later.”
Vesper fumbles around with whatever is in his arms and Muriel lets him, uncovering a wolf, shivering and covered in blood. When Muriel notices Amaryllis staring, his hold on the animal tightens.
“Nanna!” Vesper cries. “Muriel, what happened to her?”
Julian apparently can't read the room, and steps forward, addressing Muriel for the first time. “Is… she hurt?”
Muriel nods slowly, his uncertain glare now trained on Julian.
“Well lucky for you I'm a doctor then. Maybe I can help her.”
“No, keep your hands off her.” Muriel orders, but it's gentle, purely protective. He sets her down gently in front of the fire, atop a pile of furs. He remains hovering over the wolf, shielding her.
Vesper speaks up. “Muriel, let him help. From what I've heard, he isn't your average doctor. He can heal her better than any of us ever could.” Muriel stares at Vesper for a few moments, before sighing, and leaning back to kneel next to the wolf. He shuts his eyes and lets out a long sigh, nodding subtly. “Go ahead.”
Julian still looks hesitant with just Vesper’s verbal permission, but he strips off his gloves anyways, approaching the wolf slowly. She snarls at him, baring her teeth even as Muriel pets gently at her fur.
“Inanna, it’s alright.” Muriel coos, and she calms down. Amaryllis decides the wolf must be his familiar.
Inanna finally lets Julian touch her, removing the blanket to find a large gouge upon her side. “Oh my, you poor thing. I’ll have you fixed up in a jiffy, don't mind me.” He goes to work right away, the mark on his neck glowing as both Muriel and Inanna watch him carefully. The wound on her side fades until it's gone, and the blood is seeping through Julian’s coat instead.
Julian backs away from the duo and Vesper rushes forward to take his place, greeting Inanna warmly as Muriel checks her over.
“Thank you…” Muriel mutters, his guarded body language falling slightly. Amaryllis goes to Julian without thinking, peeling the bloodied coat back to check the wound, now on Julian’s own side.
“It’s no problem at all, it's already almost all healed on me.” He turns away, lifting his shirt showing off nothing but a faint scratch upon his skin. “It’s fine, Amaryllis.”
They nod, backing away from him.
“Muri, what happened? That wasn't from just any animal.” Vesper asks, still offering comfort to Inanna. Helios, his own familiar, slithers out from his shirt and down his arm and onto Inanna to give her his own snake hug.
“It was Lucio.”
“Lucio? He’s here?” Amaryllis raises their voice just enough to be heard from the other side of the room, but it seems to set off alarm bells for Muriel anyways. He tears his disapproving gaze off of them and his eyes soften when he looks at Vesper, who nods in approval.
“He’s back. At least his ghost is.”
“I know.” Amaryllis steps forward, but not too close, lifting their sleeve to reveal the remnants of the gashes he left across their arm on their first night at the palace. “I didn't think he was able to leave his room.”
“He’s growing stronger.”
“That’s why they're here. Muri, Asra says you know something about that night.”
“The night of the fire…” Muriel murmurs.
“I do know you?” Julian speaks up. “Now that I think about it, you seem quite familiar.”
Muriel rises from the floor, towering over everyone else in the room, even Julian. “We need firewood. Stay here.” He nods at Vesper before exiting the hut, unintentionally slamming the door on the way out.
Suddenly, Amaryllis feels a magical shift, one that they can't quite explain. “Vesper, what's going on?” they ask, unsure of what they're even talking about.
“You’ll see.”
A moment later, the front door slams open, and in steps a hulking man carrying a bundle of firewood. He looks at Amaryllis and Julian, with mild disdain, but seemingly unsurprised to find two strangers in his home.
Perhaps Asra let him know they’d be coming ahead of time?
He steps past them, turning his back to Amaryllis and Julian to approach the fireplace. A mark— just like the one Julian carries, just like the one they apparently carry over their heart— is aglow on his back.
“Amie, Julian, this is Muriel,” Vesper says, “he was just in here a moment ago. You don't remember him.”
“He was already here? No, no… I would have remembered meeting someone as… large… as he is.” Julian says, his cheeks turning pink as Muriel gives him a side-eye.
“You wouldn't. People… forget me.” Muriel explains, getting the fire going.
“But you don’t forget him, Vesper?” Amaryllis asks, turning to their brother.
“I used to. Then one day Muriel decided he didn't want me to anymore. Obviously Asra remembers him too. But that’s it.”
“People forget you? Just like that?” Julian slumps back down into the dining table chair.
Muriel keeps stroking the fire. “Don't you have… questions, or something for me?”
“The mark. Yours allows others to forget you so you can live a peaceful life. Julian’s allows him to take other’s injuries onto himself. I have one over my heart, but I have no clue what it allows me to do. Neither of us know how we got it, but you might.” Amaryllis keeps their distance from Muriel, still sensing the man’s hesitation.
It takes him a moment to respond. “...I helped a friend. And I was rewarded in return.”
“Amie, you have one of these marks?” Vesper asks. They look to their brother and nod, summoning up whatever magic they can to make the mark glow. It’s faint, but now that they know it's there, they can make it appear.
“A friend, hm? So Asra.” Muriel seems to have no comment at Amaryllis’s deduction.
“Muri, are these marks connected to that night? I know even less than all of you, all I’ve been able to get from Asra is that Amaryllis’s accident was magical in nature, and he implied it was his fault.”
“What? He’s told you that much?” Amaryllis questions.
“He’s afraid to tell you, because every time he’s tried, your headaches get worse. But whenever you learn the truth naturally, they don't. He’s just trying to protect you in the only way he knows how.”
“That’s all you know, Vesper?” Julian asks from across the room, a contemplative look across his features.
“It’s the most he’s ever told me at all. He thinks I’ll run my mouth— and he’s not wrong— so he keeps me in the dark. We both agreed to it, for Amaryllis’s sake.”
“If Asra sent you here, he wants me to tell you what I know.” Muriel starts. “It was the night… The night of the fire. Asra sent me to find you.” he nods his head towards Julian.
“Asra was there? You were there? Why don't I remember any of this?” Julian rises once more.
“You were locked in a dungeon.”
Julian’s eye widens, and he digs through his pocket, pulling out the key he found in the library yesterday. He holds it up for Muriel to see. “Recognize this?”
“That’s the key. To the dungeons.”
“Locked in a dungeon… before the murder? What for?”
“I don't know. But I let you out. I led you up to… his room. L— You know. Him.” Muriel's expression grows intense for just a moment, but he reels it back in. “The room was already on fire. You ran in, and I left.”
“The room was already on fire…? I’m innocent…?” Julian pulls his gaze away from Muriel, and it lands on them for a moment, before glancing down at the brand etched into his skin. “I’m innocent.”
“Muriel, where was I that night?” Amaryllis interrupts.
The room goes silent, and Julian’s former expression of relief and victory is replaced with cold dread.
“Don’t.” is all he says.
“No! I’m tired of everyone else knowing something I don’t!” Amaryllis tries not to shout, as to not disrupt Muriel’s home anymore than they already have. “Muriel, where was I?”
“He’s… right.” Muriel grimaces. “I shouldn't. It’s not for me to tell.”
“Fine!” Amaryllis throws their arms up, approaching the door, pulling it open. “Everyone else can get their answers but me. I hope you're happy, Julian.” They step through the threshold, slamming the door shut behind them.
They make it just past the edge of the protection spell before Julian is trailing after them.
“Amaryllis, I—”
“No! Don't speak! Don't tell me whatever you’re keeping from me is for my own good, I don't want to hear it.”
“But—”
“I mean it!” Amaryllis keeps walking ahead, shouting loud enough for Julian to hear their words from behind them. “You lost memories. You got to make the choice to come back to Vesuvia, to find out what happened to you, despite everyone who cares about you protesting against that. We all gave you the room to make that decision for yourself. And in return you take away my ability to make that choice for myself.”
Julian seems to have nothing more to say.
The two of them trudge on in silence, much like they did the other night. As much as Amaryllis wanted Julian to shut up, now his silence is aggravating them just as much.
And then, the light, sparse drizzle turns into a full-on downpour.
Julian catches up with Amaryllis, stripping off his oversized overcoat to shield the both of them with it.
“Maybe we should find a place to stop until the rain lets up?” he murmurs, far too close to their ear.
Amaryllis says nothing.
They walk on, boots slopping through puddles of mud as they trek back through the forest on an undetermined path.
“You're right, you know.” Julian says. “I'm keeping this… thing… from you, keeping you from making your own choice. But it’s not out of concern for you as much as it is for me. Vocalizing what I think I know, it may very well break me. You're strong enough to handle it, I know it. But me? Not a chance.”
“Oh, so your selfish arrogance is supposed to make me feel better?” Amaryllis stops in their tracks, Julian bumping into them from behind. “This whole time I had thought I was trying my damndest to find the good in you, but I realize now I was only trying to prove Asra wrong.”
Amaryllis feels Julians fingers brush against their damp shoulder, and then he’s gone, resuming the walk back through the forest.
“We’d better get a move on. I’m sure Pasha is expecting us.”