SIGN UP BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! aka Monday, when sign-ups close at 5am CDT
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Cassandra: Why haven't you signed up for Hightown Funk yet, Varric
Varric: What in the name of Andraste's crispy knickers are you talking about, Seeker?
Cass: DO NOT BLASPHEME! You know Hightown Funk is the (somewhat) Annual Fic & Art exchange that celebrates the love between you and Hawke. You cannot deny it!
Varric: Cannot deny my love for Hawke, or that Hightown Funk is a semi-annual fic & art exchange that celebrates it?
Cass: [speechless]
Varric: Relax, I have until the end of the weekend to sign up.;
Cass: VARRIC! Do not wait until the last moment! You cannot miss the deadline! Your admirers demand it!
Varric: I'm just teasing, Seeker. I just signed up today. See?
Closeup-of Varric holding a book that reads 'Hightown Funk Sign-up'
Varric: dangles the sign-up book tauntingly I think the question now is, are you going to sign up before it's too late?
Cass: snatches book away GIVE THAT TO ME!
Varric: smirks Good on you, Seeker.
CASSANDRA GREATLY APPROVES
Popping into your inbox with a prompt as requested... how about some Hawke/Varric with "summer" and/or "heat" 😇
It would almost be funny, had it not been so torturous - he'd woken up that morning in the low light of his suite and thought even then, in the perpetual dimness of the Hanged Man, that the summer heat was too much, too sticky, too overwhelming, and yet where had he found himself?
On the coast, of course, where there was nothing even resembling shade.
Grumbling things better left under his breath, Varric holstered Bianca and fanned himself, sending the sun a withering glare that, quite frankly, seemed not to affect it in the slightest; he hooked a finger in the collar of his tunic, praying for a breeze that would not come, and no sooner had he done that than the whistling began.
"One more button, one more button!" Hawke catcalled from the shore, her smile shining at least twice as brightly as that endless sun as she paused her looting.
Who was he to deny his adoring public? With an entirely put-upon sigh, he popped his next button open and was helpless not to laugh when Hawke and Isabela erupted into cheers, their arms thrown high into the air.
I have a lot of Opinions™️ about how to describe the height difference between Hawke and Varric in fic/general discourse. I believe everyone is allowed to HC their Hawkes as different sizes and body shapes, so this is all based on the body models for the characters from the games. Look closely and you’ll find that their size difference shouldn’t get in the way of certain physical interactions (including sex) as much as one might imagine.
I pulled the models from DA2 and assumed Hawke to be of average height, which helped gauge Varric’s approximate height:
Their torsos are more or less the same length, Varric’s being slightlyyy longer:
Sitting down (in a standard human-sized chair) they are more or less eye to eye, even when Varric is standing:
If Hawke drops to her knees, she reverses the height difference and is now chest level with Varric. Excellent for motorboating, but doesn’t bring her to eye level. Unless they’re both sitting or she’s sitting and he’s standing, or some stairs or other inclines are involved, they’re not going to be at eye-level.
Very Serious attempts at depicting different sexual positions beneath the cut lol (mildly nsfw I guess, since they’re just outlines)
Should they want to go down on each other while the other is standing, Hawke will have to sit back on her heels and lean down. Varric just has to get on his knees:
And while there are a myriad of sexual positions to discuss with differences in size, the most contested sends to be missionary, which - despite the t pose nature of this graphic lol - should line up the same as two humans typically should:
Perhaps I will make more images of this important resource in the future lol, maybe I’ll even bust out blender and their character models for 3D examples, but until then, I hope this was somewhat helpful in demonstrating the height differences between my two faves. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk 💕
"Hawke," said Merrill through a giggle. "You just kissed Varric."
"On the lips," added Fenris.
"With a goofy, love-struck look on your face, one might add," teased Isabela. "Anything to share with us?"
Eden Hawke accidentally reveals her relationship with Varric during a tense game of Wicked Grace.
— "tavern" prompt filled for @dragonagekissweek
"You're cheating."
Typically, in a game such as Wicked Grace, at a table such as their own, the word cheat was one that inspired fury, that raised players from their seats and compelled their fists to start swinging, chests to puff out, faces to glow red with indignation. Tonight, however, during this particular game at this particular table, Eden Hawke merely leaned back in her chair, fanning her cards out between her fingers as if they were her feathers. "That is a baseless accusation and I will not stand for it."
Varric chuckled beside her, hiding behind his own hand. "Careful, Hawke. Your Aveline is showing."
Fandom: Dragon Age
Pairing: Hawke/Varric
Summary: One of the author's portraits on Varrics books depicts him surrounded by many beautiful women. It could perhaps use a little updating, now that he's a married man.
AO3 Link and matching art by snuffes go look look look!!
Hawke lowered her book and listened.
It had gone very quiet in the other room. Far too quiet. Varric had received a letter from his editor, which meant there should have been another hour at least of grumbling, muttering, and the occasional ‘oh come on!’ playing counterpoint to furious scribbling.
Instead, there was silence.
Hawke set the book aside and swung her long legs off the bed, biting back the groan as she levered herself up off the dwarfishly low bed. She stuck her head around the corner. Varric was still at the table, surrounded by the detritus that always accumulated when he was working -- loose paper, half-empty glasses, ink pots, crumpled blotting paper.
Varric wasn’t hunched over writing, or staring thoughtfully into the distance, or flicking crumpled up scraps of paper into the fire. He was holding a thick piece of paper and staring at it with an odd expression on his face.
“Something wrong?”
“No,” Varric said slowly. “Just uh… unexpected.”
“Mm-hmm…” Hawke prompted.
“Do you remember Apples?”
“That woman who illustrates your books, yes, I remember. Very nice woman, lovely smile.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “More than willing to help you convince me that Avaar name their children after food.”
Varric did not respond, apparently transfixed by the paper in his hands. Hawke crossed the room and leaned on the table casually. She was going to give him about a minute before she snatched it out of his hands, and thought that was very generous of her.
“Right. So, the last time I wrote to her I made a joke about how I’d have to change the author's portrait on the back of my books now that we’re married.”
“Mm, it is a bit gauche for a married man to depict himself being pawed at by half-dressed women -- especially when they aren’t even the same species as his wife.”
Varric finally looked up from the paper to grin at Hawke.
“You’d be less jealous if they were half-dressed human women?”
“My dearest Varric, I pride myself on not being the sort of wife who gets jealous of any fictional wenches, regardless of species.”
“Hey, those fictional wenches have rich and varied personal lives. Show a little respect.”
“And this is your new author portrait?”
“Apparently she painted it the day after we met her,” Varric said, finally handing it over. “She’s been waiting this whole time to send it to me.”
Hawke barely heard him.
Varric's editor had commissioned a few different portraits of Varric, to be used depending on the genre (something about pandering to an audience). In all of them, Varric was depicted as looking outwards, his smugly raised eyebrow directed at the reader. This even -- or perhaps, especially -- in the portrait containing the aforementioned wenches, who, in turn, had eyes only for their cocksure Lothario from the neck down.
Conversely, in this new portrait, Varric and Hawke seemed to have forgotten there was an audience; their attentions were wholly consumed by each other.
And the look they were giving each other.
It was the look of a man about to ravish a woman who expected and intended to enjoy every second of it. Hawke wondered what sort of Avaar magic Apples had used to keep her paintbrushes from catching fire.
Varric’s shirt was open, exposing his broad chest and famed chest hair. One arm was raised, a quill artfully poised. His other arm was around Hawke’s waist, holding her in a pose that would probably be possible if Hawke went down on one knee and Varric stood on a box. Hawke’s breasts strained at the confines of a ruffled pink, and were apparently the only thing keeping said dress in place.
Hawke could see the next moment in her mind’s eye: Varric bringing his hand down, the sharp metal nib of the quill slicing through the flimsy dress material like tissue paper, the pieces fluttering to the floor as Varric pulled her in the rest of the way.
She very carefully set the picture down on the table, and immediately slid onto her husband’s lap, her eyes shining.
(first meeting)
Hawke: What do you think is gonna happen here in the next chunk in our lives?
Varric: I don't know. I meet someone nice. I settle down.
Hawke: What do they look like?
Varric: Sexy.
Hawke: Keep going. Right off the jack.
Varric: Just shows up casually. You know what I mean?
Hawke: Yeah.
Varric: Like, in the middle of Hightown, and they’re wearing battle leathers.
Hawke:
Varric: You know what I mean? Like, sort of a greenish set of leathers.
Hawke, wearing those exact things:
Heavy
Varric & Hawke | 3k | T | warnings: animal death, some gore
Varric knows what it is like to bury a loved one alone. That is why he stays with Hawke until the sun goes down, watching quietly as she digs a grave for her mabari along the windy shore of the Wounded Coast.
A @hightown-funk fill! My first one in ages! It was nice to dive back into this pairing and explore a type of Hawke I’m not accustomed to (Red Hawke, which I’ve never done before!) but once I saw the prompt I couldn’t get this idea out of my head and I hope I did it justice.
