#videogameguy

[jakalpaulo-blog]

Happy Birthday!!! Harleigh 🎉🎂🎁🍰 😁 fun times at the rec room!!! #recroom #videogames #vr #injustice #dccomics #tradingcards #pinball #ghostbusters #starwars #fun #djjak #jak #jakaldesigns #fkapower #paulo_goncalves #wanttogoagain #whowantstocome #videogameguy (at Rec Room Toronto)

[iamsampink-blog]

VIDEOGAME GUY UPSTAIRS

1. The guy who used to live right above me played videogames a lot—sometimes for consecutive days, real loud during all times of the day. He’d yell at the videogames and break things in his apartment while playing. He’d yell, “Fucking goddamn stupid bullshit” and stomp on the floor a lot then there’d be a scary sound of something breaking/him screaming. I liked him. He was very creative with his swearing. His swearing was always new and bold. Like, it was always some variation of “fuck” with “shit” or “goddamn.” Like, “Fucking goddamn bullshit motherfucker I shot that motherfucker in the head.” Or, “Fucking bullshit, I blew that asshole up with a fucking motherfucking grenade.” His stomping was also impressive. Seemed genuine. Full of anger. I felt the anger in each stomp. If I had to guess, I’d say his stomps involved both feet at the same time, throwing his upper body backwards. If I had to guess, I’d say his stomps involved imaginary heads beneath both feet. And blood. And death. And motherfucking goddamn bullshit.

2. The first time I went upstairs and knocked on his door to ask him to stop, he didn’t respond for a few minutes, he just lowered the volume on the videogame. When I knocked some more, he opened his door a little. He looked very small and scared and tired. I said, “Are you uh, playing videogames loudly and yelling a lot.” He said no, but that yes, he had heard it and then he said he thought that sound was coming from across the hall. When I told him I lived beneath him and could hear like, stomping, and yelling too he said no, but that yes, he had heard it, and man, he thought the sound was coming from my apartment. I didn’t say anything for a little bit, just maintained eye contact. Then I said, “Oh. Alright, thanks.” Walked back downstairs.

3. A couple days later, he was yelling and breaking things really early. I went back upstairs. It was weird trying to think of what to say. Are you supposed to say, “Hey, me again.” Or, “Remember me?” I paused halfway up the stairs and thought of multiple scenarios. Like—him answering the door and denying it again and me nodding, saying, “Ok, but this is your last chance” then I turn and jump down the stairs to the next floor. Or—him answering the door and denying it and then I ask him to help me find the apartment where the screaming and stomping was coming from and then we become best friends as we solve the mystery of who’s playing videogames and stomping and yelling. Or—him answering the door, me nodding upwards and saying, “Need a friend?” then walking into his apartment and picking up a videogame controller and being his friend. Or—him answering the door and me just running back downstairs, tripping down the last three stairs and breaking my ankle then hitting my face against the wall. Or—him answering the door, me smiling and pointing, saying, “Hey, just wondering if you could stop screaming at the videogame you’re playing” and then he says, “Of course, my child” and disappears into a pale blue light and I walk into his apartment and play the videogame alone and someone knocks on the door and asks me to stop yelling and stomping. It’d be great if he was just doing a puzzle and he came to the door, opened it, then casually said, “Yes? What is it, I’m doing a puzzle” gesturing into his apartment where there was a partly-constructed puzzle on the floor. But it didn’t matter because he just turned down the volume when I knocked, didn’t answer the door.

4. The last time I interacted with videogame guy upstairs was right before he moved out. He was playing videogames loudly. Yelling and stomping his feet. From my room right below, I yelled, “Shut the fuck up” so loud it hurt my eyes. He turned down the videogame and stopped yelling and stomping. Made me want to yell, “Pay my rent too, and buy me a fucking hermit crab.”

GERALD MCCLELLAN VS NIGEL BENN