ok sorry for all the spammy posts tonight but i feel like as of This Moment all of my very stubborn design philosophy principles with Amadeus have been vindicated. I feel FUCKING GREAT.
i also had caffeine while on my new meds for the first time today and am a little bit regretting it but that is beside the point.
It has been so fucking hard to ignore every single bit of conventional wisdom about gamedev for going on 2 years straight. Even as someone with the world's hugest ego and an obsessive vision, it has been hard. I have watched a lot of peers put out numerous other complete smaller projects in the time it has taken me to not even go from a demo to a finished episode. I have poured all of my heart, time, and energy into a project knowing full well that it will be completely and utterly unmarketable when it's complete.
But what has carried me through is knowing I'm making a game that is wholly and ENTIRELY dedicated to my own tastes and priorities. This is the absolute pinnacle of self-indulgence. I allow myself to put every single one of my obsessions into it and it's made it continue to grow and transform into something really fucking awesome, and something that I love so much.
This most recent decision, though - making an anime ass OP for it - it's the thing that is finally tangibly validating this approach. It's giving me a much-needed victory.
I'm only making this OP because I want to. It's because I loved Euphoria's and Umineko's so much that I wanted one of my own. It's taking an enormous amount of work that "could" go to other parts of the game.
But now that I've finished the arrangement and thumbnails, I know. It's going to be so fucking good. The song is already one of the greatest bangers I've ever written and it's just MuseScore audio right now.
And this is not something that someone who is able to release several smaller projects a year is going to have!! They have a collection of released games; that's their flex. And that IS a flex, a huge one, and I commend them for it.
But MY flex is I'm going to have a fucking whole ass FIRE cinematic opening for my game, because I have chosen to focus on one massive project and make it as fucking awesome as I can.
And I can't WAIT until I have the payoff of the complete video to share.
