#vinslakte

[humansarespaceaussies]

Hey everyone. Just a quick anouncement! I've decided to sort of broaden the scope of the blog, and I'll get a lot less formal about it. I'll still share anything space-orc related here, but I'll probably also include some other stuff. Things that are great about living on earth, cool facts, cool pictures. I'm hoping this'll make it easier for me to share things more consistently here. I might change up the theme and pfp a bit too, but I plan on keeping the url the same.

[kitvinslakte]

One day, a frog decides to take a genealogy test. They do the whole cheek swab thing, mail it in, and wait a few weeks. And you know what they find out?

They're a tadpolish.

Lmfao good job. Thank you.

[tragic-hibiscus]

Blood Stone Chronicles- rewrite

part one, chapter one, 1/?

Theo kicked a pebble, bouncing it off the bark of the old oak tree. Jasper was late. Again.

The sound of the schoolyard dimmed, as more and more children drifted home by bus or car. Theo sighed, and considered leaving. It’s not like Theo didn’t have somewhere to be. He’s only here because Jasper likes hanging out in the woods, and Jasper is his friend. We’ll, one of his friends. Theo groaned, rolling his head back and watching they heavy clouds. Okay, if it rains, he’s definitely leaving.

Why am I here again?

A noise startled him out of his head, and he swung around to see Jasper, only a few feet away. Theo released a breath he hadn’t known he had held, just shy of having jumped.

“I spooked you” Jasper snickered, “again.”

“No! You didn’t I was just…”

“Yep. I know that face. I wasn’t even trying to be quiet; you know how many dead leaves I stepped on? And I still spooked you.”

“Did not!”

“Did so!”

Theo threw the first half-hearted punch, and Jasper dodged easily, expecting it with a smile. He stuck his hands in his pockets and danced back, further into the forest, taunting Theo to follow.

“c’mon, I know you can catch me this time!” he dodged again, “First to the bog without falling in?”

“Jas, get back here!”

“No can do, Theo, you tried to hit me, don’t you know my feelings are hurt?”

“Bastard!”

“You know it!” Jasper exclaimed playfully, turning his back and starting to run. Theo gave chase with a smile, despite himself.

---

The forest here was dense and maze-like, but this path was well worn, their destination familiar. Through the trees, down the hill, turn left at the ruins, to the damp space next to the creek. They called it “the bog” but neither of them actually knows what the difference between a bog, a swamp, or a wetland is. Nobody ever comes here. The trees are too dense for most recreational activities, and the soil too damp to travel safely. The locals say that only the desperate and the foolish know the forests depths, but since when have children ever heeded such warnings? They are both out of breath when the reach their finish line, a small raised area of dry land that hosts a single tree, marking the boundary between the harsh soil of the forest and the deep mud of the bog. Jasper swung himself into the branches of the old linden tree, while Theo slide to a stop just shy of the mud.

“I,” Jasper panted, “win.”

“No, you, didn’t,” said Theo, equally winded. Jasper smiled at him, and Theo looked away.

The sound of babbling water drifted through the trees as their panting breathes evened out. The air here was even colder than it was by the school, but Jasper didn’t seem to notice. With his breath caught, Jasper had started climbing higher. Theo watched on, uneager to follow and a bit peeved that his friend didn’t seem to notice the chill. Theo rested his hand on a convenient branch, gripped as if to start climbing, then relaxed his grip. He stared at his hand for a moment. He should follow Jasper. He always follows Jasper.

He stared up, watching his friend disappear between the branches. Something felt weird, today. Nothing was different, but…

Theo shook his head, dislodging misplaced anxiety, and lifted himself up into the branches of the towering old tree in a shower of yellow leaves.

By the time Theo met up with Jasper, he was already at the highest point they could reach before the branches got too thin. The world swayed in the wind as they stared out through the treetops. Jasper’s eyes were far away, a slight grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. Theo watched him for several minutes before Jasper even seemed to register his presence, a silent moment where Theo felt warmth deep in his bones despite the cruel wind whipping through their too thin jackets. Then, all too soon, it passed and Jasper gave him that trouble making grin again. The sun was lowering itself all to quickly, and Theo knew it was only going to get colder, but these moments, running and climbing and teasing with Jasper always made him feel like nothing could hurt him.

[kits-weirdass-dream-journal]

Date of origin: october 20, 2021

Part 2/3                      (Part 1)

This dream starts on the grounds of a huge mansion, with great big fields separated by tall stone walls. The mansion is huge and old, a bigger building than you can find in my area, and for some reason I do think this was in Britain (or another english-speaking European country). The fields however seemed like scaled up versions of the area near the gardens at my local community college. The grey stone walls were about ten to fifteen feet high, and often the feilds on each side of a wall would be at two different levels of elevation, with a narrow path between them that often lay up to four feet lower than the rest of the fields around it. I can't quite figure out what this actually "was" to be honest. It wasn't a school, but the power structures of a school make the most sense, so I'll use those titles (teacher, student, principal, etc.) when describing people. 

The faculty was preparing for a big event, ostensibly a party or celebration, perhaps a fair, but they had to wait for the sportsball competitions on multiple feilds to end first. I was hiding from the teachers (and some students/peers) using the recessed paths between the fields. Soon, the principal summoned everyone to the main field, and I attended too, confident that among the thousands of students one more face would be undetectable, especially at the back of the crowd, a good hundred+ yards from the podium. I was whispering with a peer who I trusted at the back. The principal began speaking. They apparently called the whole gathering Just to find me, and even through the crowd I locked eyes with the principal and felt scared. The principal cut himself off at that moment, and as I turned to run I heard a great roar behind me as -something- gave chase. I tried to flee between some of the stone corridors but a solid black smoke caught me and that dream ended.

(Part 3)

[blargh-chicka-honk-honk]

how come dream me always has better outfits than me-me.

[vinslakte]

he/they/it. white. usa. scan my barcode pride flag to get a great deal on arbitrary gender-envy!

[kitvinslakte]

time feels like its playing tricks on me.

semi personal stream of consciousness follows.

I saw a post here that was "for people in their twenties" and I got sad. like, oh, I guess that's not for me anymore. I scrolled down three more posts before remembering that I am in fact twenty four. and then I realized I'm not twenty four, actually, I haven't been for a while, and will in fact be twenty seven quite soon. I don't feel my age... I'm either younger or older, or both, but right now its just... its like nothing fits quite right. physically i feel like I'm 38, but i look 22. emotionally I feel about right, I guess. I'm too desperate to be much older but too mellow to be younger, right? but mentally I feel like I'm still playing catch-up to everyone around me, even to the newly hired teenagers working the same entry level job I've been at for three years. why can't I just. exist at a pace that doesn't leave me dragging along. can't I do anything?

I've always felt like I just need to get away from this town, away from the comfort of this dead end life I've been living and then I'll learn the things I've been afraid to know. how to move on, to let go, to forget.

Ah, see, there's the rub. I have been forgetting. I forget all the time. I can't remember anything important. maybe I feel this way, feel like the walls are closing in around me, feel like I'm running out of time to escape because a part of me is afraid I'll forget how to. maybe I'll just exist in this nowhere place forever, until some part of this fragile system I've tied myself to collapses, and I drown, dragged down by the weights I once needed to stay afloat.I don't want this life to be all I know. People always say "running away doesn't fix anything" and "the grass wont be greener, it just looks that way" and I can't say they're wrong I just can't stop feeling like I'm drowning and what else can I do I am stuck, stuck in this fucking job and this fucking town and I can't breath I cant

I keep thinking "I want to go home."

I want to go home.

I think this even when I'm in the place I consider home, now. I just. I don't know what I'm missing. …oh.

i… don't consider it home, do i.

That’s what I was missing, right?

It wont fix the job and the drowning and the fear and the memory but. If I can figure out why my… why where I live isn't my home, maybe I can fix that, at least.

But I don't want to leave.

It's not my home, but… I love the person I have there, and If I left I wouldn't take them with me. And I don't think I can change much about the space itself to *make* it a home, not really. its small and dirty and full of someone elses stuff, someone elses life. even if I could… fixing that wont fix anything else. I still feel sick when I think about having to go to my job. "I like my job!" I say, to myself, every day, every day, I don't know when I last truly believed it. Belief in belief, right? If I believe hard enough that I like my job, maybe this gnawing nausea will recede, maybe my nightmares will go away, maybe ill stop seeing imaginary flies buzzing around my head all day.

I had a truly disgusting dream, a few weeks ago. I can feel echoes of it in my waking life, now. I feel like I'm rotting from the inside out, and one day ill collapse in a cloud of black rot and spores.

What is this feeling. This feeling of not enough- too much- all wrong- inside out sickness that permeates my life now. Every waking moment and most of my dreaming ones too. Why can't I just be okay enough.

I hate this. I hate everything about this.

I just want to go home.

I just want to go home.

[kitvinslakte]

Miraaanda