Allow me to be sappy for a bit while I rant about getting this mount. So I've been struggling a lot lately with my mental health. Various breakdowns over everything and anything. Lots of fights with Travis. Everything is overwhelming and too much. So I recently got back into WoW to prepare for the new expac next month. Like so much in my life, it seems like everything that can go wrong in game does. I've had beyond shit luck with drops, I've been fucking everything up rotation wise, I mess up mechanics on fights I know I know, etc. On top of all this Travis and his friends are like pro level and I try to play with them. I feel so worthless and shitty next to them though. They start talking all these things I don't know about and when I ask it never gets explained because "I should know" or they make a joke about it. Because of this I'm trying really hard to get better, get my gear up, and overall prove I'm not useless and a burden on the group. I know I'll lag behind everyone once BFA drops, so I really want to be at their level at least right now. Normally I never go past LFR. That's pretty much where I've stayed since MoP. But I recently have tried doing normals and forcing myself to join groups for things I never would have before because of my anxiety. Anyway, earlier this week it hit me that I was within ilvl for Heroic Argus, which means I could get the Ahead of the Curve achievement. So I started joining groups. I spent 7 hours, 5 bosses and no loot drops. We quit at Aggramar. I was unreasonably upset. Seems like that's how I always am nowadays... Travis offered to just buy us runs and not worry about it. It felt like a big defeat. I felt like I could do it this time and prove to myself and Travis's friends...I don't know. Something. Prove something. So I tried leading the raid tonight and it was... a shit show. I had no idea what I was doing, how to run a raid, anything. I wanted everyone's time because I thought I could do something I couldn't. I gave up, we did a mythic + in hope of gear and nothing, of course. Once everyone went to bed I decided to try joining groups again. 5 hours just fighting Argus. Over 30 wipes. And holy shit we did it. I actually did it!! I legit almost cried.
