#viren fic

[sorinethemastermind]

The Final Rite

In which Soren grapples with his father's sacrifice.

 

Soren hadn’t told anyone where he was going. It had felt selfish, somehow. Or like something to be ashamed of. But now, standing outside the ruins of the castle. Of his home. He suddenly wished he had brought company.

 But who would have wanted to accompany him on this task, anyway?

 And was it really a task, when no one had asked it of him?

 He took a deep breath, feeling it catch in his throat, and not from the smoke this time. Somewhere in the rubble before him lay Vir- his father's body. Broken and charred, pierced through the heart just like when he'd-

 Soren stepped into the courtyard and began combing through the rubble. He was exhausted, and with each stone he turned over his arms shook. What were all those workouts for if he couldn't even lift a rock?

 But it wasn't just the physical strain, he knew. With every overturned stone there was a greater chance that he would actually find him. Crumpled beneath a piece of fallen masonry, charred beyond recognition. Or, possibly worse, protected from the fire and undeniably recognizable as the man who had raised him.

 Discarded him.

 Hurt him.

 Been proud of him.

 Died for him.

 Soren didn’t know how to reconcile all the men his father had been inside his head. Didn't know how the same man who had played with him as a child could have become the one who marched into Xadia with an army. Or how that man could possibly be the same one who had looked at him in the dungeon and said that he had already taken enough. That it was his turn to offer Soren his heart.

 He didn't want to reconcile it. He didn't want to think about it or feel any of this. It was easier to hate him than... than whatever this was. Not love, surely?

 He didn't deserve it. Not after everything he had done. And yet...

 The moon was high overhead when Soren finally reached the area under the tower where Viren had cast the spell. Some part of him had been avoiding it, knowing that it was most likely where he would be. But this was why he'd come here, wasn't it? Snuck away from the camp in the middle of the night. Stowed away like this wasn't the home he had almost died to protect. Had offered to die for, and been denied that right.

 Maybe he should be grateful, but he wasn't. Or he was, but that gratefulness hurt so much he wished he wasn't.

 Some of the rocks had already fallen away and it didn't take much to find the body, just where he'd imagined it would be. And... just how he'd imagined it would look.

 It had been all he'd been able to picture all day. Setting up the tents, gathering supplies, carrying wounded to the hospital. In the back of his mind, no matter what he'd been doing, there had been the image. The image of Vir- his father standing there on the balcony, facing the dragon. Of the fire filling the courtyard until he couldn't see anything more. Of his skin turning to charcoal and his veins glowing like magma under the surface.

 For just a moment there, standing before the dragon with his staff raised high above his head, Viren had looked like the man Soren once believed him to be. And while at first he had been horrified as the spell washed over him, brought back to another mountaintop from two years ago, the warmth seeming to radiate out from his chest had meant something else, too. It had meant that what his father had said in the dungeon was true. Something, Soren didn't know what, but something had changed.

 He hadn't been lying. He had been proud.

 And what had he done? He’d yelled at him, run away from his father then. And now? Soren pushed the last bits of rubble away and pulled his father's body from the wreckage of their home.

 Now he would bury him.

 The trek to the Valley of Graves was a long one, winding through the entirety of the city of Katolis. Fires still smoldered on some of the houses lining the road, flickering like candlelight. Soren made the solemn walk alone, cradling Viren's limp body in his arms. His father was light and frail, two words he never would have associated with the man in life.

 The first tinges of sunlight were visible as he finally reached the end of the road and walked between the cliffs and their statues of kings and queens, great and gone. But there was another, newer grave alongside them.

 Soren stopped and stared up at the great bones of the dragon. They had felled it after all. Not that it mattered. He didn't want to look at it.

 Turning his back to the great beast, he crossed to the other side of the valley and laid his father on a patch of empty soil. Some might call it sacrilege to bury Viren here, among the great warriors of the kingdom of Katolis. But Soren didn't know where else to go. He didn't want him to rot away, forgotten and reviled, in the woods. Or to remain trapped in the still smoldering ruins of their home.

 Even villains deserved peace. If that was what he was.

 Soren drew his blade and set to work. His sword didn't make a very good shovel, but he persevered, hacking away at dirt and stone until his arms shook from overexertion and his breath came in ragged pants. He stuck it into the ground and leaned against it, struggling for air.

 In through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your mouth.

 His father’s words echoed through his mind as he finally managed to fill his lungs with enough air to straighten up and look over what he’d done. The sun up. People would be noticing he was missing soon. But he had a job to do. He would not leave his father here, abandoned. Whether he deserved to rest alongside these heroes of the realm or not, he would.

 Soren raised the blade above his head and brought it down again.

 He was in the courtyard, hiding behind the great oak tree that had lived there for centuries. His father shielded his eyes from the sun. "Now where could my little golden boy have gone?"

 Dirt and rocks were chipped away. He raised it again.

He was sitting on the floor before the hearth, his mother's hand resting on his head and Claudia nestled on her lap as his father read to them.

 He brought the sword down. Steadily, the hole began to grow.

 He was lying in his bed, chest aching with every wheezing breath, his father's hand clasping his own. They were both exhausted from a long night, eyes drifting shut.

 He was in the courtyard with his first training sword, practicing his footwork, glancing up at the window in hopes of catching his father watching.

 It was his knighting ceremony, all the young guards standing proudly before the king as he welcomed them as protectors of the kingdom. Viren stood behind him, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as Soren's name was called out.

 He was standing in the dungeon, leaning on a crutch, cruel words still ringing in the cold, stone hall. Staring into the frenzied eyes of someone who was supposed to love him.

 He was standing in the dungeon, offering his father his heart one final time.

 Soren's sword struck hard stone and, with a reverberating clang, twisted in his hand. It flew aside, falling to the ground with a long crack running up it. He fell to his knees beside the hole and buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking.

 "No. I- I've taken enough from you, son.”

 There hadn't been time to argue. Soren had tried, but in the end…

 "I'm so proud of you."

 He'd turned back, opened his mouth to say something, but no words had come. His father smiled at him. A sad smile, the knife clutched in one hand, staff in the other. 

 "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know."

 "I love you." the words came now, kneeling over his father's grave. They came too fast, too much. Like they were being torn right from his chest. "I love you. I always did, I- I don't know why you did everything you did. I don’t understand. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I wish I could forgive you. I wish I didn't want to forgive you. I-"

 Soren forced in a shaky breath and rose to his feet, leaving his sword where it had fallen. Maybe, if all these versions of his father could be true at once, then he could hold love and hate in his heart at the same time, too.

 And that would have to be enough. 

 He lifted his father and carried him to the side of the grave, wrapping him in the tattered remains of one of Katolis's banners before lowering him inside. This was the same man who had played with him in the courtyard and read him to sleep at night when he was sick. But it was also the one who’d cast him aside, shouted that his life didn’t matter. 

 Soren leaned down and lifted the fabric up to cover his father's face. What were the words to the rite Opeli had used? He had heard her say them enough that day. Something about justice, he thought. 

 "May Lady Justice be merciful." he whispered, voice cracking. “May she feel both love and hatred, and make the right choice.”

It took him nearly as long to fill the hole as it had to dig it, and the sun was high in the sky by the time he had finished; legs weary and arms aching. Finally, he went to retrieve his sword. The crack ran from the tip to the pommel, jagged edges glistening in the midday light. Soren went to sheathe it, but hesitated.

Crossing back to his father's grave, he struck it into the ground that had broken it, letting it stand as a marker. And then he turned one final time, and without looking back, walked out of the valley.

[sorinethemastermind]

Whumpuary 2025 | Prompt: "I Didn't Ask For This"

 Viren slammed the door shut behind him, hearing it shake on it's hinges. He paced across the room, head in his hands, fingers furiously combing through his hair. All for nothing. All of it was for nothing. 

 His fist slammed down on the table, “Nothing!”

 The bird cooed in the corner, tilting it’s head at him quizzically from inside the cage. He glared at it. 

 “Are you mocking me, now? Is this kingdom’s doom amusing to you?”

 The bird said nothing, merely adjusted it’s footing on the perch. Viren scowled. It was becoming harder and harder to tell what was bird and what was… what wasn’t. How long could you be trapped in something else’s body before you became that thing? How long could you cling to someone you no longer were before it was lost entirely?

 It was something he might have pondered, once. Discussed with Harrow. Written theories on. Something Kpp’Ar would have found-

 Viren sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, “I’m sorry. You need your seed, don’t you?”

 He opened one of the nearby cupboards, pulling out the little sack of bird feed he kept there. He walked over to the cage, sprinkling some in through the bars. He knew better than to open it. Not after last time.

 Pulling back a chair, he passed the bag of seed between his hands and watched as the bird ate. It pecked at the floor, scrounging for every scrap and morsel. Viren looked away, unable to watch.

 “I didn’t have a choice, you know,” he said, addressing the far wall. “You left me no choice.” When no reply came (how could it?) he continued. “It was the only way forward. For our kingdom. For humanity. The only way I could protect them. It was the only way forward for you,” he did look at the bird, then. At it’s unsettlingly strange yet familiar eyes, “You’ll thank me someday.”

 It said nothing.

 Viren stood, leaving the bag of seed on the table, and began to pace the room. “I didn’t ask for this,” he told the bird. It lifted a seed in it’s beak and cracked it.

 Viren snarled, “See, you say that but-” he paused, catching himself, and stared at the bird. It had said nothing. Could say nothing. It was just a bird. And yet-

 Viren’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, and he sank back into the chair, staring at it as it ate, “Are you even listening?”

 The bird picked up another seed, tilted it’s head back, and swallowed it. Viren sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Can you even listen?”

 The bird said nothing. 

 “I am not going to give up. Not on humanity, not on this kingdom, and not on you.” Viren stood, brushing his hands down his front to straighten out the wrinkles in his robe, “No matter what you think of me.” 

The bird said nothing as he swept from the room, closing the door with a sharp click behind him.

[sorinethemastermind]

Fluffcember 2024: Coming Home | Rayllum & Sorvus & Clauderry Callum is determined to ask Rayla to be his girlfriend this Winter Break. But if he can't even start a fire, how is he supposed to create the perfect moment? Soren has decided to stay on campus this Christmas, but with Rayla and Callum as his only company, he's starting to feel like a third wheel. Except maybe it's not just the three of them left on campus after all. Meanwhile Claudia is trying to have a nice Christmas with her family, but maybe her family isn't at home...

 Corvus was sitting on his couch with Soren, snuggled up under a blanket with the other man’s arm around his shoulder.

 Corvus was sitting on his couch with Soren. And they were sharing a blanket and the other man’s arm was around his shoulder.

 He scarcely dared move. And then the phone rang, and Soren simply fished it out of his pocket and answered the video call.

 “Yo?” 

 Corvus watched as Soren’s face lit up. 

 “Clauds!”

  Soren’s sister beamed at him from the phone screen, her image a little distorted and grainy. Corvus noted that the glass had been cracked. More than once, by the looks of it.

 “Sorbear!” she trilled. “Wait, what are you doing? Who’s that?”

 “This is Corvus.” Soren pointed the phone into his face and Corvus leaned back, giving a small wave.

 “Hello.”

 “Hiiii.” Claudia sang and Soren pulled the phone back, turning it once again to face himself. “So am I interrupting something or-”

 “Nah. My friend Corvus and I were just, uh, well there was this lake and-” Soren began, but Claudia cut him off with a heavy sigh they could hear even though the phone, blowing through the speakers like distortion.

 “Sureee there was. But anyway! I had something I wanted to ask you-”

 Corvus did his best to tune the rest of their conversation out, feeling a bit like he was intruding even though Soren didn’t seem to mind. He pulled out his own phone, scrolling through his texts to see if he had any unread messages. His social life was as barren as he remembered it. Except for one, which pinged up onto the screen even as he was going through them.

 Opeli: Do you remember the ground rules we talked about?

 Corvus: Yes. Why?

 Opeli: You better. No inviting “friends” over. I don’t care if I’m not there.

 An image popped up after her text, grainy, like it was from a screen shot. Corvus gawked at the image of himself and Soren, arms wrapped around each other, walking down the path towards their dorm room right after the incident on the ice. Someone - Corvus had a distinct feeling he knew who - had captioned it just snog already.

 Corvus was going to have some very strong words with Rayla later about what happened to people who didn’t mind their own business. Also, Soren didn’t like him that way. He might not even be queer.

 Corvus thought back over the past two weeks. 

 Alright, he was probably queer, but that didn’t automatically mean he liked him in that way. 

 Corvus was about to reply to Opeli (with an equally stern message about poking her nose where it didn’t belong) when he heard Soren’s tone shift dramatically and the other man stood, letting the blanket fall off of him and back onto the couch.

 “Put Claudia back on.”

 “If you’d just pick up when I called I wouldn’t have to do this.” came a man’s voice from the phone, pointed and sharp, cutting through the room like a knife.

 Soren stalked to the other side of the room, putting his back between Corvus and the phone.

 “Put Claudia back on.” he repeated.

 “I will. But first I have something to speak with you about.”

 Soren pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Fine. What do you want?”

 “You don’t have to sound so sour about it.”

 “I said what do you want?”

 The man cleared his throat. “Your Mother seems to believe that you didn’t come to the cabin this year because of something I’ve done and she won’t stop needling me about it. I would appreciate it if you would just clarify things with her. Or, better yet, come and spend the holidays with your actual family and at least pretend to care.”

 While he’d been speaking Soren’s hand had dropped back to his side, curling slowly into a fist. Now he spoke up again.

 “First of all, it is because of you. And secondly, I do care.”

 “If this is about that stupid-”

 “It wasn’t stupid! And it’s not. It’s about-” Soren’s voice rose, then dropped abruptly back down. “You know what, forget it. I don’t have the energy for this. This is exactly why I didn’t go to the cabin with you. To avoid all of this bullshit.”

 “If you have something to say, say it.” the man who could only have been Viren snapped. Corvus felt his own fists clench at his sides, Opeli forgotten.

 “It would be a waste of breath.” Soren spat. 

 Corvus had never seen him like this, never heard his voice rise. The venom in his tone, the bitterness felt like it was coming from some entirely other person. Someone kept neatly locked away, hidden where no one could find them; concealed behind layers of self-deprecating humor and quickly thrown out jokes.

 “Oh, you are so ungrateful.” Viren said, his own voice rising. “After everything I’ve-”

 “Oh shut up!” Soren cut him off, nearly shouting now. “I’ve heard it a million times. Thanks for putting in the effort to keep me alive. Thanks for doing your job as a fucking parent. You sure haven't done it since so at least you did a really good job once.”

 Viren seemed to be just as startled as Corvus was, falling silent for a moment.

 “Tell Claudia to call me back later.” Soren finally said into the silence, and then he hung up.

 He just stood there afterwards, hand falling to his side as he hung his head, hair flopping across his eyes. It wasn’t until Corvus reached out and put a hand on his shoulder that he seemed to remember he’d been in the room the entire time.

 “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” he blurted, glancing up and pushing the hair back from his face. His eyes were wide and apologetic, any traces of anger quickly locked away again. “I should have taken it outside, I just got so caught up, I totally didn’t that about the fact that you were-”

 “Do you want to talk about it?” Corvus asked gently, cutting him off.

 “I-” Soren turned away. “Not really.”

 “Okay. Then we don’t have to talk about it.”

 He guided him back over to the couch, draping the blanket back around both their shoulders. Soren had started shivering again, or maybe it was adrenalin, he wasn’t really sure.

 “I just wish I knew what I’d done. Why he doesn’t-” Soren broke off, burying his face in his hands. “I’m sorry.”

 “Soren. Don’t be sorry. He sounds like an asshole.”

 Soren sniffed, and Corvus’ heart clenched in his chest. He wrapped an arm around the other man’s shoulder.

 “He is a bit of an asshole.” Soren said after a moment.

 “A bit?”

 And that got a chuckle out of him. “He’s a massive asshole.”

 Corvus gently guided Soren’s hands away from his face. “Soren, I’m so sorry.”

 “Pfft-” Soren glanced away, hair flopping into his eyes. “Why are you sorry?”

 “Because you didn’t feel like you could talk to me about… about whatever this is. And I know we haven’t been friends very long, but I want you to know that you can talk to me. About this, about anything. I don’t know what’s going on, but if I can help, I will and-”

 Soren had turned back to face him, and the look in his eyes made Corvus’ voice falter.

 “-I just wanted you to know that. And apologize if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about things.”

 “Corvus, it’s not you. I don’t talk to anyone about things.” he admitted. “I- I’m not very good at…”

 They both fell silent, at a loss for words. Corvus supposed neither of them were very good at talking about things. So he just clasped Soren’s hand between both of his and gave it a squeeze.

 “Maybe we can practice, then. Together.”

 “Yeah.” Soren glanced up at him, those big blue eyes staring like they could see into Corvus’ soul, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I think I’d like that.”

[sorinethemastermind]

Whumpuary 2025 | Prompt: Bruises

 Soren hit the ground hard. Mud splashed up into his face, some of it getting in his mouth. He spat it out, grimacing.

 "Blech."

 "Come on, Get up." His instructor swung her sword in a wide arc before returning to the starting stance.

 Soren pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the throbbing in his knees, and readied up again. She came at him like a whirlwind.

 "Parry, parry, parry. Dead."

 Soren pushed himself back up, grabbing his sword from where it had fallen.

 "Parry, parry, dead."

 He used the wooden practice blade to help himself back to his feet, holding it out before him defensively.

 "Parry, parry, parry, parry-" Soren struck the sword from her hand and it went flying across the courtyard to clatter onto the stones nearby. She beamed at him. "Now that's what I'm talking about."

 Serina walked over and stooped to collect her sword. "Much better than last time. And you only fell in the mud eight times."

 "Seven." Soren corrected her. "That first time didn't count cause it wasn't mud yet."

 "Sure." she pushed the hair out of her face, wet from sweat and the rain that had picked up a little more than half an hour ago. "Why don't we call it a day?"

 "We've still got an hour until dark!" Soren protested. 

 "And you'll need that hour to get cleaned up." Serina maintained, sheathing her blade. "So will I, for that matter." she flicked some of the mud off her boots. "Same time tomorrow."

 "Okay." Soren pouted, saluting her. She returned the gesture and they parted ways.

 He traipsed into the castle, tracking mud behind him as he climbed the long, spiral staircase that led to his father's office. He shook the worst of it off his boots before pushing the door open, peeking his head inside to spot both his father and Claudia hunched over some sort of burbling cauldron. He wrinkled his nose. It smelled foul.

 "Hey! I'm back."

 Claudia beamed at him. "Yay! Dad, look, Soren is back!"

 "Mhm. Very nice. Keep stirring." his father didn't look up from the book he'd buried his nose in.

 Soren stepped into the office, pulling his sword from it's sheath. "Look, I learned this new move today." he chewed his bottom lip as he tried to remember the footing, stumbling a little bit and nearly bumping into a nearby table.

 "Be careful, Soren." his father said, absently.

 "Sorry." he tried it again, this time getting it right, and bringing his sword up in a wide arc before him. Claudia's eyes widened and she clapped her hands together, flicking little bits of noxious smelling potion around the room. Soren finished off the move with a twirl of his sword, accidentally knocking it into a few nearby bottles.

 They rattled, and his father's  gaze shot up from his book. "I said be careful." he snapped, reaching out to steady the bottles. "These are rare ingredients from Xadia. They are not easily replaced."

 Soren shrank back. "Sorry."

 "You're tracking mud everywhere." Viren said, glancing down at his feet. "Go get yourself cleaned up."

 "I'll see you later, Sorbear!" Claudia said as their father returned to his book.

 "Keep stirring," he instructed her. She nodded, returning to her task, tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth in concentration as she continued to stir the giant pot.

 Soren felt his lower lip tremble and bit it, sheathing his sword and hurrying from the room. He kept his eyes down so as not to meet anyone's gaze as he made his way down the stairs and then up another flight, towards his room. Only once he’d reached it and closed the door behind himself did he allow himself to look up.

 He stared at his reflection in the mirror opposite his bed. Covered in mud, eyes all watery. He looked pathetic.

 Soren wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, only managing to smear more dirt across his face. He forced a smile, doing it over and over again into the mirror until he'd tricked his brain into thinking that it was real. 

 Unstrapping the sheath from his side, Soren hung his sword from the bedpost and kicked off his muddy shoes before crawling into bed. He knew he would regret not changing out of his dirty training clothes later, but he didn't feel like dealing with it just then. He curled up under the blankets, feeling his breath begin to hitch. It whistled through the gap made by his missing tooth, sounding almost like a wheezing-

 He sat upright, staring into the mirror again. Sitting in bed and feeling sorry for himself wasn't going to do anything about anything. He smiled into the mirror, but it looked forced.

 He tried again, raising an eyebrow like he'd just said something funny.

 Soren tried a smirk, then a grin, then a chuckle.

 He must have sounded crazy to anyone walking by outside, laughing at himself in the mirror. He practiced anyway, until his face was just as sore as the rest of him. Then he flopped back onto the bed, feeling a twinge in his shoulder as he bumped the steadily forming bruise there.

 "Ow." he hissed. Then he quelled that too, turning it into a laugh. A knight couldn't be put off by a simple bruise. 

 "What's so funny?" Soren jumped at the question, turning to find Claudia peeking around the edge of the door.

 "Oh, uh, just something Serina said earlier. I was thinking about it." he said, quickly.

 "She does seem funny." Claudia eased the door closed behind her, coming over and boosting herself up onto the bed. "Dad doesn't like it when you wear your training clothes in bed."

 "What Dad doesn’t know can't hurt him." Soren said, cocking an eyebrow.

 Claudia giggled and kicked her feet over the edge of the bed. "Do you want to show me that sword thing?"

 "Maybe later." Soren flopped backwards onto the bed again. "What were you and Dad making?"

 Claudia copied him, the both of them staring up at the ceiling. "Oh, you know. Some sort of potion-y thing."

 "Cool."

 She glanced over at him. "He let me remove the bumblescorp stingers!"

 "...Cool?" Soren tried.

 "Right?" she threw her hands into the air excitedly. "Next time he said I could maybe even go out and collect the ingredients with him."

 "That's awesome, Clauds."

 She paused, thinking about something for a moment, one hand absently tapping on the bed. Then she turned back to him.. "When you're a knight and I'm a powerful mage, what are we going to do? We won't need to practice anymore."

 "You always need to practice." Soren said, echoing Serina.

 "Yeah, but like, not so much." Claudia maintained, still looking at him. 

 Soren thought about it for a moment. "We'll go on epic quests and slay fearsome monsters." he waved an imaginary sword through the air above him.

 "Yeah. Yeah!" Claudia sat up, clapping her hands together. She glanced down at him, still lying on the bed. "And I can use all the monsters you fight to cast my spells! We can use them for parts!"

 "Ew." Soren wrinkled his nose. "But sure, I guess." he propped himself up on one elbow, ignoring the way it stung. He must have bruised that without realizing, too. "And one day I'll even slay a dragon."

 Claudia's eyes lit up. "Did you know there are actually a ton of uses for dragon sno-"

 "Nope" Soren stuck his fingers in his ears, falling backwards onto the bed again. "Lalalala not listening."

 Claudia laughed, shoving him. "You're the worst."

 "You're the grossest." he countered, taking his hands away from his ears now that she'd stopped talking about dragon boogers or whatever it was she was about to say.

 Claudia flopped back down on the bed beside him. "One day you're going to be the strongest, toughest knight in all the land." she said. "And I'm going to be the most fearsome mage to ever live!"

 "And we'll go all the way to Xadia." Soren added. "And slay dragons and fight elves."

 "Dad will be so proud." Claudia beamed at him. "He's lucky he's got the two coolest kids ever."

 Soren practiced his smile. "Yeah. He will be."

[sorinethemastermind]

Fluffcember 2024:Forgiveness | Rayllum & Sorvus & Clauderry Callum is determined to ask Rayla to be his girlfriend this Winter Break. But if he can't even start a fire, how is he supposed to create the perfect moment? Soren has decided to stay on campus this Christmas, but with Rayla and Callum as his only company, he's starting to feel like a third wheel. Except maybe it's not just the three of them left on campus after all. Meanwhile Claudia is trying to have a nice Christmas with her family, but maybe her family isn't at home...

 Soren leaned his head on Corvus’ shoulder, watching the other man’s thumb as it made small circles across the back of his hand. He always seemed to be doing that. They’d been in almost constant contact since the kiss. Well, the second kiss. Soren had been surprised, at first. He hadn’t pictured Corvus to be the type.

 Not that he was complaining.

 He sighed contentedly, returning his attention to the movie. They were halfway through Elf (one of Ez’s favorites) and on the third Christmas movie in their binge. It was nice, honestly. The best way Soren could think of to spend the day after Christmas. Besides maybe making out with Corvus in a closet somewhere. But he had a feeling that would only be fun for them and not everyone. So he’d put that agenda on hold until later.

 Anyway, this was nice too; all of them strewn about the living room, cozy in their Christmas sweaters and leaning on their partners or snuggled up under the same blanket. Well, except for Rayla and Callum, who were separated by a very cheery Ezran. Luckily he was transfixed enough on the TV that he didn’t appear to notice them making eyes at one another over his head.

 And Harrow kept popping in to bring them snacks. He appeared in the doorway then, sticking his head around the corner with a little smile. 

 “You all sure look cozy.” he said, carrying in a tray laden with streaming mugs of hot chocolate to pass around. He paused before Claudia as she took one. “Claudia, there is- There’s someone here to see you.”

 “Who?” Claudia smiled up at him even as a pit began to form in Soren’s stomach.

 “It’s… your father.”

 “Oh.” Claudia faltered. “How did he-”

 “I told him you came over last night. I’m sorry.” Harrow said, voice apologetic. “He was just so worried, he didn’t know where you’d gone, so I wanted him to know you were alright.”

 “It’s okay.” Claudia smiled at him, beginning to untangle herself from the blanket. “It’s not a big deal. I’ll go talk to him.”

 Terry cast Soren a worried glance, but he didn't need to. He was already getting up. “I’ll talk to him, Clauds.” he offered. “Unless you want to?”

 “I-” his sister paused, then gave him a nervous look. “Are you sure?”

 “Yeah. I’ll just be a second.” Soren tried not to pay attention to the stares he could feel following him out of the room and down the hall. He hated making a scene. Not that he had, he just… He hated everyone knowing.

 Hated them looking at him like that, with pity in their eyes. Hated to make them worry.

 Soren took a deep breath, pausing with his hand on the doorknob. He had talked through this scenario a thousand times. Well, not this exact scenario. But versions of it. He knew what he was supposed to say, what he wanted to say. His therapist had walked him through it, he’d even practiced saying it aloud. Sometimes he’d written it down.

 Versions and versions of what he wanted to tell his father, notebooks full of crossed out sentences. Entire paragraphs of what he wanted him to know. Of how he’d made him feel. But then, when his father had been on the other end of the phone, he hadn’t been able to remember any of it. This time, though, he was ready. He was prepared. He knew what he-

 The words died in Soren’s mouth as he opened the door. The same way they had the last time.

 His father looked taken aback by his presence, his mouth opening only to fall shut. His lips pressed together into a thin line as Soren stepped out onto the front porch and closed the door behind him.

 “I didn’t know you were here.” Viren said, finally.

 “Merry Christmas to you, too.”

 “It’s not Christmas anymore.”

 Soren sighed. “I was just trying to be nice.”

 “So is that what you’re doing now? Being nice to me?”

 “I try to be nice to everyone.” Soren said, fighting not to let the anger enter his voice. He wasn’t going to do this today. The words slipped out anyway. “Even if they don’t deserve it.”

 His father’s eyes narrowed. “I didn’t come here to be insulted. I came to speak to your sister.”

 “She doesn’t want to talk to you.” Soren crossed his arms over his chest.

 Viren sighed. “I don’t know what you said to her, but-”

 “I didn’t say anything to her. She just doesn’t want to talk to you. Neither do I, actually. So why don’t you just leave.”

 “I am going to speak to my-”

 “No, you’re not. So why don’t you go and Scrooge someone else’s Christmas.”

 Soren hadn't known you could laugh meanly, but his father was a special man.

 “I don’t know where I went wrong with you, but your sister has not abandoned this family and I do not plan on going anywhere until I have spoken to her.”

 Something in Soren snapped. Or maybe re-snapped, if that was a word. But whatever thing had broken that made him leave in the first place, that thing that he’d duct taped together again and shoved back into place, it gave way. And out came the person Soren didn’t like, the one who reminded him of his father, who sounded like him when he talked and looked like him when he yelled.

 “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he snapped. “I’m legitimately asking. What thing inside you broke that made you such an awful, mean person?” his father’s eyes widened and he took a step back. Soren sort of enjoyed that. That for once he was the one who was scared. He hated that he enjoyed that. “I have not abandoned this family. I would never abandon this family. You’re just finally noticing that it’s in pieces and you’re being cut by it. I spent my entire life being cut by those broken pieces and I’m glad you’re finally feeling it because I am sick and tired of being the only one who notices.”

 Viren scowled at him. “If you have something you want to say to me, then stop hiding behind confusing metaphors and just say it.”

 Soren took a deep breath. “You’re right. Sorry. I guess the poet in me came out.” he took another breath. “No one is abandoning our family. Not me and not Claudia. You just broke it.”

 His father opened his mouth like he was going to snap something, but just exhaled a puff of steam into the cold air. He met Soren’s gaze. “You really hate me, don’t you.”

 “I-” the sudden change of tone caught Soren off guard. “No. I don’t hate you.”

 “Why not, then?” Viren challenged. “If I have broken our family, then why not hate me?”

 “Because you’re my Dad, Dad.” Soren hated how much that hurt to admit. Like he was taking all the bandages off a still open wound; exposing himself to whatever attack he knew was about to come. Like a dog rolling over and showing it’s belly. “If I didn’t love you, then the stuff you said wouldn’t have hurt. If I didn’t remember us being a family, then I wouldn’t have noticed us being broken.”

 He looked away, unable to meet his father’s gaze as he waited for the inevitable berating.

 Viren was silent for a long moment. “So what now, then?”

 Soren glanced up at him, surprised. He didn’t sound angry, he just sounded sad. Somehow that might have been worse. He knew how to deal with angry. He had experience with angry. This was new.

 “I don’t know.” he admitted.

 “So we just stay broken.” this time it was Viren who looked away, eyes drifting to the dark windows of their home. Undecorated and cold. “Is that what you’re saying?”

 “I think sometimes the first step to being forgiven is accepting that maybe you don’t deserve it.” Soren said after a long moment.

 His father looked back at him. “You and your sister are all I have.”

 “Then I don’t think you have anything.”

 Viren looked away again and the silence returned.

 “I think I’ll always love you.” Soren said, finally. It was the first time he’d admitted it, even to himself. “But I don’t know if I should.”

 “What did I do to-”

 “I can’t.” Soren said, hands going to his face. “I just can’t. Not right now. It’s too much.”

 “Okay.” Viren sighed. “I’ll go.”

 Soren looked up at his father, surprised still, somehow.

 “I never wanted you to hate me.” he said, still not meeting Soren’s eyes. “And I never meant to hurt Claudia.”

 “I know.”

 “I suppose it doesn’t change that I did.” Viren said, after a moment.

 “It doesn’t.”

 His father turned and made his way back down the walk before turning onto the street and up their own. Soren watched him go, still standing on Harrow’s front porch. Viren stopped when he made it to their door, glancing back over as his hand rested on the knob.

 “Merry Christmas.” he called.

 Soren would have laughed, but he couldn’t quite find it in himself. “Merry Christmas.”

 He watched until the door had closed behind his father and a single light had come on in the window. Then he took a deep breath and stepped back inside. Corvus was waiting at the end of the hall, leaning against the little archway that led into the kitchen. 

 He looked up as Soren entered, stepping out into the hall and holding his arms open without a word. Soren hadn't been expecting that, so he hadn't duct taped it all back together. He was kind of glad. He stumbled forward, burying his face in Corvus’ chest as his partner’s arms closed protectively around him.

 “I got you.” Corvus whispered, resting his cheek on the top of Soren’s head.

 “I know.”

[sorinethemastermind]

Fluffcember 2024: Carols | Rayllum & Sorvus & Clauderry Callum is determined to ask Rayla to be his girlfriend this Winter Break. But if he can't even start a fire, how is he supposed to create the perfect moment? Soren has decided to stay on campus this Christmas, but with Rayla and Callum as his only company, he's starting to feel like a third wheel. Except maybe it's not just the three of them left on campus after all. Meanwhile Claudia is trying to have a nice Christmas with her family, but maybe her family isn't at home...

 It was a family tradition.

 Well, it was Claudia’s family tradition. But his girlfriend had made it very clear that Terry was a part of that too. Which meant he had to go caroling with them.

 “You really don’t need to be nervous.” she’d told him. “No one’s any good at it, it’s just for fun. You should hear my Dad try and sing.” 

 She’d laughed, and he’d thought how the sound was prettier than any music he’d ever heard. So he’d agreed to give it a go, even if the idea of stomping through the snow and singing to strangers terrified him even before you added the fact that he’d been doing it with her parents who he had only just met.

 It at least seemed like he’d make a good impression. Viren had begrudgingly shaken his hand (which Claudia said was basically a rave review, coming from him) and her Mom had actually given him a hug when they arrived. She was very nice.

 Well, very nice to everyone but her ex-husband. 

 Terry hadn’t said anything, partially because it didn’t feel like his place to comment and partially because he had a feeling that Claudia already knew, but the pair of them seemed to be… not the closest. (That was putting it mildly.)

 They’d been cordial at best to each other since they arrived at the little snowy cabin that they rented every year for the holidays, and any time that Claudia mentioned her brother Lissa would glare daggers across the table at Viren.

 They were doing it right now, exchanging pointed glances from opposite sides of the living room as the group of them practiced the song they’d be singing when they went out on Christmas Eve. Attempting to practice. They’d actually spent most of the time debating which song to use until Lissa had finally just thrown her hands up and said’ “Fine, if you must control everything then have it your way.”

 Terry had cringed, Viren had glared, Claudia had turned the music up louder and mentioned that this one was one of Soren’s favorites. 

 Since then things had been… awkward. (That was also putting it mildly.)

 As they finished another go through of the song, Terry cleared his throat, getting up from his place on the couch beside Claudia.

 “I’m, uh, just going to go to the bathroom real quick.” he hurried from the room and down the hall, closing the door behind him with a sharp click. Claudia had talked about her family a lot. They were her favorite people in the whole wide world. And based on everything she’d said, Terry hadn’t been expecting this.

 He probably should have been. He was no stranger to complicated family dynamics. But he’d hoped that, for once, he might have an actually merry Christmas. Not whatever this was. An excuse to pay for therapy? 

 Maybe that was it. He leaned on the sink, staring at himself in the mirror as he racked his brain for advice that would apply to this situation. There was a lot of it, but most of it involved talking about your feelings, and he had a feeling that wouldn’t go over so well.

 What was the point of all those classes, of studying to become a therapist, if he couldn’t even apply it to his own life? He sighed. There was probably a reason doctors still had doctors.

 He ran the sink and flushed the toilet so it wouldn’t seem like he’d just been standing there staring at his own reflection, and wandered back out into the hall. He was hit almost immediately by a blast of shouting. He hadn’t realized the door was that thick. 

 “Oh, so I suppose everying is my fault.” Viren snapped, voice echoing from the living room.

 “Of course it’s your fault! It’s always your fault!” Terry cringed back as Lissa’s voice followed it, bouncing off the walls. “Because you have to have your claws in everything. You can’t just let people be themselves.”

 “I have only ever done what is best for this family-”

 “Bullshit! You have only ever done what’s best for you.”

 Viren laughed. A harsh, humorless sound. “That’s rich. You literally walked out on your own children-”

 “I did not!”

 Terry hovered in the hall, not sure what to do, what to say. And then Claudia nearly bowled him over as she ran by, slamming the door to their bedroom closed behind her. Once Terry had regained his balance he followed her, letting the echoing argument fade out behind him (as much as it could in a small cabin). 

 “Claudia?” he asked, knocking gently on the door. “Can I come in?”

 A muffled mhm answered him and he slipped inside, closing the door quickly behind him to allow as little of the argument as possible to seep inside. It was enough though.

 “-be here if it weren’t for you and your-”

 “He’d be here if he cared about our family!”

 Terry locked the door behind him. Claudia was huddled on the bed, a blanket pulled over her head, the light from her phone illuminating her face as she hunched over it.

 “Do you want to talk about it?” Terry asked, sitting beside her and wrapping a gentle arm around her. She leaned into him, dropping the phone to the mattress. He glanced at it and saw Soren’s contact information pulled up.

 “I just wish he was here.” she said plaintively.

 “Is… is this why he’s not?”

 “I don’t know why he’s not! He’s being so selfish.” she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. Then she shook her head. “No, he’s not. I didn’t mean that.”

 “I know.” Terry said, letting her lean back against him. “You just miss him.”

 “This is the one time we were really a family. And now even that is gone.”

 “I’m sorry.”

 “Why are you sorry?” she asked, glancing up at him. She tucked a strand of hair back behind his ear and squeezed his cheek. “You’re the one person who doesn’t need to be sorry about any of this. You’ve been great.”

 “What if just you and I went caroling?” Terry offered. “We won’t be any good, but it’s like you said; that’s the fun of it. Being really bad at something with the people that you love and laughing about it.”

 “I think I’d like that.” she smiled. “And I love you too, Terbear.”

 It was then that he realized they hadn’t technically said that before. He’d said he liked her. And that he loked her (she’d laughed, then it had become their thing). And she’d said she wanted him to meet her family. To be a part of it. But-

 “I- I’m sorry I just-”

 “Stop being sorry.” she clicked off her phone, setting it aside on the bedside table before pulling the blanket off her head and turning back to him. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. You’re literally the best and-” she took a deep breath “-I love you.”

 He smiled, unable to help it. “I love you too.”

 “Uh, yeah.” she grinned at him, winking. “You said.”

 He laughed, and even though the raised voices outside still drifted through the walls from time to time, it didn’t matter. They had their own little family right here. Because he loved Claudia, and she loved him. And that was a family in and of itself.

[sorinethemastermind]

Fluffcember 2024: Cold Turkey | Rayllum & Sorvus & Clauderry Callum is determined to ask Rayla to be his girlfriend this Winter Break. But if he can't even start a fire, how is he supposed to create the perfect moment? Soren has decided to stay on campus this Christmas, but with Rayla and Callum as his only company, he's starting to feel like a third wheel. Except maybe it's not just the three of them left on campus after all. Meanwhile Claudia is trying to have a nice Christmas with her family, but maybe her family isn't at home...

 Viren glanced from his phone back to the tupperware of cold spaghetti, then to the phone again. He poked absently at the mass of cold noodles and congealed sauce. It had split into red blobs of tomato and a thin, watery orange liquid. Stabbing into it with a fork, he lifted a clump and inspected it. He couldn’t remember making spaghetti. So either Claudia had made this while she was here, or it was very old. 

 He took a tentative sniff as the doorbell rang. Setting the fork down, he pushed the chair back.

 “Give me a moment!” Viren called, stepping into his slippers and shuffling down the hall.

 He didn’t know who it could be. Certainly not Soren, not after yesterday. Perhaps Claudia had changed her mind about speaking to him?

 “Viren.” Harrow smiled at him as he opened the door. “May I join you?”

 “Ah. Harrow, yes, of course.” he stepped aside, letting his friend go past him and into the house. 

 Viren closed the door behind him, turning around to find Harrow holding out a tupperware he’d brought with him.

 “I brought some leftovers. I know it’s not much.”

 “Thank you.” Viren took it. “So then… is that all?”

 “What?” Harrow raised an eyebrow, then laughed. “No. Not until I’m sure you’ve eaten it.”

 He led the way into the kitchen, Viren trailing after him. “So… how did it go with Soren?”

 Viren sighed. “My daughter doesn’t want to speak with me and my son hates me. It went how you might expect. You could have warned me he was there.”

 Harrow winced. “Yes. I’m sorry. I knew how things were between the two of you, I wanted him to feel safe. I didn’t want to betray his trust.”

 Viren let out a harsh laugh. “You wanted him to feel safe so you hid him from me. His father.”

 “You know that’s not the way I meant it.” Harrow said, taking the tupperware when Viren made no move to do anything with it. He took out a tray and began scooping the leftovers onto it before sticking it in the microwave.

 Viren sat back down at the table with a sigh. “I am aware of how you meant it.”

 Harrow sat down across from him. “What did he say?”

 “Apparently I have hurt him, somehow. And broken our family.” Viren informed his friend.

 “So what are you going to do?” Harrow asked, patiently.

 “What would you have me do? I believe he and his mother have made it clear that I have already done more than enough.”

 “That’s not the Viren I know.”

 “Perhaps I am not the man you once thought you knew.” Viren said, propping his elbows on the table and clasping his hands before himself.

 “He’s in there someplace.” Harrow assured him, getting up and taking the tray out of the microwave as it beeped. He split it onto two plates, pushing one across the table to him.

 Viren poked the mass of congealed mashed potatoes and the few pieces of dried out turkey that were probably still cold in the center.

 “So, what are you going to do?” Harrow prompted again, somehow already halfway through his plate. 

 “Nothing.”

 “No creative solutions?”

 “This isn’t my career, Harrow. It’s my family.”

 “Which is all the more reason to try.” Harrow pushed. “If there’s one thing I know about you, Viren, it's that you would do anything for your family.”

 “I would.”

 “Well? Did Soren… send you anything?”

 “So that was you, then.” Viren sighed. He picked up his phone again, staring at the screen. The phone number, website link, and the message from his son. Just consider it.

 “He asked me for the information.” Harrow said, gently. “What did you say?”

 “Nothing, yet.” Viren put his phone back down. “Lissa and I tried counseling. It didn’t work.”

 “It might help you and Soren.”

 “I doubt that.”

 “It might help Soren.” Harrow said. 

 Viren stabbing his fork into a piece of turkey before looking up at his friend again. “He’s already seeing someone about me, isn’t he?”

 Harrow rubbed at his beard. “He said it’s helping.”

 Viren sighed, burying his face in his hands. “Where did I go so wrong?”

 “Do you actually want me to answer that question?”

 “Stop being such a therapist right now.” Viren sighed. “I could just use a friend.”

 “I think you could use both.” Harrow said, getting up and placing his now empty plate in the sink. He looked back at him, leaning on the counter. “If Soren thinks family counseling could help him, then shouldn’t you try it, even if you don’t think it will? Isn’t that the very thing he’s asking you to do?”

 Viren wrinkled his nose. “I don’t see how both my children telling a stranger how much they hate me while I sit there is going to help us.”

 “That’s not how counseling works.”

 “That’s how it felt with Lissa.”

 “That was one bad experience, Viren. Don’t let it shape your entire life.”

 Viren sighed, glancing back over at his phone. He picked it up.

 Viren: Would Claudia be present?

 The little bubble appeared to tell him Soren was typing almost immediately, vanished, then returned. 

 Soren: yeah

 Viren: I’ll give them a call and see about setting up an appointment.

 Viren: I don’t know if I could have your mother be present.

 Soren: that’s fine

 Soren: thx

 Viren stared at the final message until Harrow walked around the table to see what he was looking at. His friend clapped a hand on his shoulder.

 “See? If you listen, and you make a gesture, they see it.”

 “I don’t think our problems are solved just because he thanked me for something.” Viren said, still staring at the phone.

 “No.” Harrow admitted. “But isn’t it something?”

 “Yes.” Viren said. “Yes, it is.” his finger hovered over the message, hesitantly. Then he clicked on it quickly, reacting with a heart before he could overthink it. Harrow smiled at him. Viren set the phone facedown on the table again. 

 “Was that so bad?”

 “Oh, stop being so smug.” Viren said, returning to his food. It had gotten cold again.

 Harrow sat down across from him, that same smile on his face.

 “You’re not being any less smug.” Viren informed him.

 “How do you feel?”

 “...Better.” Viren admitted. “I doubt it will accomplish anything but-”

 “It feels nice to have a solution?” Harrow offered.

 “Yes.” Viren agreed. “A way forward. A different path.”