Welcome to another one of my shitpost reviews! - Visual Prison edition
Just finished watching Visual Prison with @fullmetalgirl98, um.
What in the name of LOST EDEN did I just watch?
Fair warning, scroll past this if you don’t want spoilers for Visual Prison. Does it count as a spoiler if I have no idea what the hell I’m talking about? Dunno.
ANGE.
Point of discussion number one: the characters. Other than a very select few, It felt like the different characters were just... plopped in there, without any real proper characterization or development. They exist, sometimes they do stuff, that’s all.
Guil is probably the only kind-of-decently built character in the story... sure, weirdly built, but at least he’s built. Also he’s handsome and dubbed by Makoto Furukawa, sue me.
The protagonist is just stupid. It’s not new, to be fair, a lot of shounen protagonists are not on the bright side. But Ange has no character arc. He just turns up, he likes to sing, he’s half vampire, boom done. Does he actually do anything throughout the anime? Not really.
Most of the characters just didn’t have an actual role in the story. That’s kind of sad.
ASSES.
Remaining in the characters discussion zone, what the fuck is up with Dimitri and his nudist tendencies, I mean mate, not judgin’, but the neighbours gon’ be upset, ya know?
It was a welcome laugh, though. I appreciate a good ass every now and then.
GAY.
Yep, even in Visual Prison, there’s no escaping the gays. Starting from the fruitiest fruit in the market - Mist, up to whatever Guilt and Yutaka had going on because that shit was not heterosexual, there’s a wide range of choices. I appreciated this, as I always do. Also some very nice non-binary representation (Eve ma boi).
However, I am begging you, please don’t ship Guil and Ange. That’s weird as fuck. Please stop.
KETCHUP AND MAYONNAISE.
Someone needs to explain to me what the point of Carmilla’s character was. Her episode was probably supposed to be comic relief, but it was honestly just confusing and cringy.
The whole “she wakes up to ketchup and falls asleep to mayonnaise” thing was ridiculous and I honestly don’t know how they came up with that idea. I was just... why. Why.
Also, trying to make her relevant by calling her at the end of the season to ask her a question they pretty much already knew the answer to was... pointless. That conversation between her, Eve and Elizabeth had no reason to exist and lead to absolutely nothing. Why was she even there? *frantic shrugs*
LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER
Now that I have done my rant about the characters, let’s move on to the “plot”.
Well, Visual Prison doesn’t actually have a plot. It’s something you watch to have a good laugh at the nonsense, but don’t try understanding it - God knows you will fail.
Before it was revealed that Guil was Ange’s vampire parent, at some point while on call with Anna @fullmetalgirl98 I quoted Star Wars during one of their interactions and welp, Luke, I really am your father.
Also what the fuck is up with Ange having three parents. Just let Guil and Yutaka be a happy gay couple and adopt a kid. No need for all this mess. *sigh*
CENTODIGIOTTOOOOOO
Lil meme up there for any Italians lurking around these parts. How did no one call an ambulance for Yutaka and his wife when they saw them bleeding out on the street like that? Why? How??
Ah yes, just a regular evening in Tokyo. The streets are bustling, the shops are full, food’s cooking, and oh that’s a couple of bodies on the ground, no biggie, same shit as always.
Not even Guil thought of it? You see your friend (ahem, boyfriend, ahem) bleeding on the ground and what, nip nip bite bite? Mate, I get it, vampire, but get it together for a sec.
To add to the list of weird, incomprehensible things: why did they use CGI for the music video scenes? That was so unnatural and weird to switch to, also probably a lot of extra work for a result that... doesn’t work and just looks bad.
The swords coming out of their arms? Um, okay? No.
(hehe they took out their swords hehe no it’s not a euphemism. Unless it’s Dimitri, then it applies either way)
Guil coming out of his coffin fully clothed and made up, ready for the performance, when he was literally on the brink of death until a second before? Um, was not expecting vampire zombies.
So yeah, overall, I didn’t like Visual Prison, but I rather did enjoy watching it. Honourable mention to the music - both the songs and the soundtrack - because that was killer. Some real good stuff.
Do I recommend this anime? No. Or rather, not if you’re looking for a story to follow and characters to get attached to. If you just want a laugh, to relax and stop thinking, go ahead, this is for you. I warned you about the asses though.
