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“The straightest you’ve ever been”

I lost my Rhett and Link vlog commentary last night, and with this second attempt, I’m not going to make the mistake of writing it on my phone again. Because, the vlog is worthy of a proper, thorough commentary. As far as vlogs go, I think this was pure perfection from start to finish.

The premise for this week’s vlog is that Link surprises Rhett with a hair makeover. You can clearly see that this is a true surprise, because Rhett seems not only a bit annoyed for the distraction of Link appearing to their office in vlogging mode, but once he hears that Link is going to do something to his unkempt hair, a range of emotions cross his face. He looks puzzled, annoyed, alarmed, and almost ready to cry - all of this in the few seconds before Link explains to him that he is not going to cut Rhett’s hair, but just straighten it. Rhett should trust his friend a little more - Link wouldn’t do something that would upset Rhett knowingly.

Link is clearly much more excited than Rhett as they step into the beauty wardrobe room. I would love it if the guys decided to start a men’s beauty vlog - I know I’m a gal, but I’ve quite ofthen thought about how much I love Link’s style, and I could easily see myself wearing what he wears on a regular basis. He has this very nice, casual but chic style, and I totally dig it. And, I’m dying to know how he fixes his hair to stay intact regardless of what he does (well, as was proven in that livestream they did last night, wearing a bike helmet does take a toll on his hair). But today’s “beauty vlog” is all about making the slightly reluctant Rhett look beautiful.

I love how Jenna shows up with a pile of first aid supplies for burn injuries, and Rhett refuses to take part in this project unless Link agrees to let Rhett burn him where ever Link burns him. Where is the trust on this man’s skills? But after an agreement and a fist pump, Link is finally allowed to get started - with Jenna closely supervising the process.

Rhett tries to throw Link off his game with a failed insult of saying he looks like a hairdresser. Link considers that a compliment, and carries on unfazed. Only, he claims to be a little nervous about touching Rhett’s hair, which I find just a little unbelievable, since this most certainly isn’t the first time he’s done something to his buddy’s hair:

Coincidentally, in the episode Weird things You Can Do With Peanut Butter from which the above screenshots are, Rhett mentions Link’s backup career is to become a hairdresser. And, Link uses the exact same hairdresser voice in both episodes despite them being filmed 5 years apart.

Link seems determined to keep things professional, pointing out he doesn’t want touching Rhett’s hair be pleasureable for anyone, but since only moments later he looks like a happy kid brushing the mane of his first pony, I’d say he forgot his own intentions pretty quickly. Which is, of course, what we all want to see. But I do agree, the act of touching someone’s hair is intimate. That’s one of the main reasons why I’ve only been to four different hairdresser in my lifetime. The only way for them to get rid of me is to retire or move out far enough.

I’ve spent hours watching diy hair tutorials in the past couple of weeks, so I know what virgin hair means, but Rhett asking if him having virgin hair (untreated hair) means Link is deflowering his hair now, made me cackle. I laughed even more, when Jenna corrects him by saying that deflowering would require something like bleaching, and Link mentions that is something they did in highschool. So, yeah, they already deflowered eachother’s hair in highschool. But why Link calls spraying hair product to Rhett’s hair as a few kisses? Wasn’t he supposed to try not to make things too intimate?

I think Link might have been watching Queer eye again, because they always ask the guys they groom to say affirmations to themselves on that show, right? At least it sounds like the kind of thing they’d do. But at this point, Link is fully enjoying all this hands on hair connection. And Rhett doesn’t look quite as worried, either. But how adorable is it that Link used to cut his boys’ hair?

(My dad would never agree to that, but I’ve cut his hair a few times. And my mom cut my hair once for a school event, and curled my bangs and I was so embarassed about them that that never happened again. I was probably 8 years old, and ever since, I’ve gone to professionals.)

Oh man, Link saying to Rhett: “You’re gonna be the straightest you’ve ever been” is the best line he’s said in a while. Let’s talk about that, huh? No, apparently not. But at least it made Rhett chuckle and Jenna look like she’d so want to comment on that.

Josh shows up with the Mythical Kitchen team to spork the guys all of a sudden. I had actually watched that episode, so I knew there’d be a vlog about Link doing something to Rhett’s hair, but with everything going on, and after the quarantine vlog last week, I’d completely forgotten about this - so Rhett wasn’t the only one getting surprised.

Link just had to comment on Rhett’s lack of a proper chin, and honestly, it was just friggin’ cute how Rhett reacted. Something about this episode makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And just as soft as Rhett’s beard looks.

After all the grooming, brushing and smoothing, Rhett finally is ready to be revealed in his new, straight glory. Link looks immensly proud of his creation, which DOES look a bit like a strangely kempt caveman. And also, pretty insane.

Hairstyle is not a Kinsey scale, but I think it’s safe to say that the hair he has in the end of this vlog is pretty straight. It sure did go through quite a few stages before getting there, and it appears Rhett’s personality reflected the change on the outside.

This vlog was delightful. Link got all of his desires to touch Rhett’s hair sated for a while. I feel he’s been dying to get his fingers on it for months now, and only now came up with the perfect excuse.

There is a canine element to straightened Rhett. I know he already compared himself to wet Barbara on Twitter, but I think he got the breed wrong - he very much looks like an afghan hound. I prefer the wavy version of Rhett over the straight one - as cute as dogs are, there is something very majestic about Rhett’s not-quite-straight mane.