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honestly I kinda hate how jealous my dysphoria makes me a lotta the time . I see anyone with a pussy and I’m like clawing at the walls of my enclosure like “why isn’t that me”

#op.03.082 #vn.06.004 #this is why I feel like I wouldn’t be very good at t4t in practice :( I would get really jealous and probably cry and be at a literal #standstill because of how scared I’d be at accidentally penetrating something .#I Know this fear isn’t unfounded because one time I was having sex w someone with a dick for that matter and it grazed up against their #ass and I literally just started crying and freezing up on the spot #and then when there’s a cis guy I get really self conscious about not being able to get pregnant #REALLY self conscious . so honestly like out of all genital arrangements I’m the most attracted to phallo . easily.#which is why I post about it a lot . either that or like an infertile cis guy I guess.#and this isn’t saying I can’t be attracted to someone w a pussy it’s just like . I could never have sex . because I would straight up just #be scared and jealous and on the brink of tears the whole time . :(#Honeslty I’m like . effectively asexual w/o vaginoplasty #one guy one brought me penetrating him up during sexting once and I started shaking and turned my phone off for like 10 mins ………. like even #over text it triggers me

i hate having to study reproduction so much

just a reminder of what i will never have

never.

#op.03.082 #vn.06.004

every time i get horny enough to need something Inside Me I forget how bad anal makes me feel and then I cry. Fuck my stupid tranny life

#op.03.082 #vn.06.004

trying not to cry looking at an anatomical diagram of a vagina on the wall next to me I’m a normal person

#op.03.082 #vn.06.004 #it should be me

vent art and also #normal vent in the tags

#vn.06.004 #op.03.082 #i love bottom dysphoria . SO MUCH #i wish i could be a normal tranny that likes fucking with a cock or whatever the fuck but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i ahve to have #insane dysphoria especially around pregnancy the literal ONE THING that cis women will always have up on me no matter what #i know im worse i just wish it wasnt that obvious .#im scared that ill never find a man who is fine with dating a tranny but wants kids is that a weird thing to say . i just #wanna kms sometimes over thsi im ngl #im not gonna .#anyway i shattered a red crayon taht i think i actualy use kinad a lot when making this because of how i was and am feeling :(#I WISH I WAS NORMAL #I WISH I WAS CIS.#vent

if no one else got me I know a post on Reddit from 3 years ago with (now) 4 upvotes talking about the same crushing emotional problem I face got me…….

#op.03.082 #vn.06.004

I think my dysphoria is made a lot worse from the fact that I do actually want a child one day

#op.03.082 #vn.06.004 #I wish there was like . a switch I could flip in my brain to just stop wanting #anyways I’m just in a mood right now :(#I’d do anything

I’m about to get like full control in my workplace on Monday pretty much and the first thing I’m doing is taking down one wall art they have up

it’s like “I love people not parts” and has anatomical diagrams of a vagina and a penis and it acc makes me want to kill myself every time I look at it like “yassss queen remind me that I can never have children and will forever be isolated from other women purely on the basis of biology 😆😆😆😆” how do people cope with this I’m going insane

#op.03.082 #vn.06.004

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