So I lost a knife fight with a surgeon
... because I was unconscious.
(aka I had my vns replaced)
The weird thing is, they had it booked as "Battery change." Which like, I love being a cyborg but that feels just a bit on the nose.
It was an outpatient procedure, and as the actual procedure went it was fine.
I chose to be sedated rather than go under general anesthesia, because I've reacted poorly every time I go under general. I had a little scruffy anesthesiology resident who heard that I got super queasy with anesthesia last time, and told me they'd use a different kind that also acts as an anti-emetic.
I had some lovely nurses who were very capable, patient and kind. Prep went reasonably quickly.
Jeff the VNS guy came by to answer any questions I had last-minute, and to show me what the new one looked like (smaller than my old one, sort of a flat lozenge shape.)
When it was time to go in, they gave me some anti-anxiety meds by IV, rolled me into the ER, and I looked around a bit while they bustled around the bed, and that's all I remember.
I woke up afterwards with an oxygen mask on, feeling a little sleepy but aware and in no pain. It felt like waking up from a nap. I walked down to use the toilet. The nurse gave me my IV antibiotics, and I chowed down on some hospital jello (orange flavor) until it was done and I could go home.
My dad took us straight to get hamburgers, and the painkillers were starting to wear off so using my left arm wasn't great, otherwise I felt alright. A little tired. I felt like I could've eaten a whole nother burger, tbh.
The next day I thought I felt well enough to go on a 30 minute walk to get my heavy duty painkillers- which I couldn't use, bc they were made in a lactose base and opiates interfere badly with my epilepsy meds.
(The pharmacist told me this. The doctors who prescribed them? Apparently didn't check my allergy list, or my medications list. This happens to me all the time.)
I've been using ice and OTC painkillers, though they started upsetting my stomach so I've been keeping it really low since Friday. (Surgery was Wednesday, today is Sunday.) I have a topical NSAID cream that's helped and hasn't messed with my stomach this weekend.
My one complaint is that whoever did the suturing SUCKED at it. I don't mind having scars. They're... illustrations of the story of our lives. But something this big and uneven speaks to carelessness. I know it's a teaching hospital, so I wonder if they let a student do it?
Whatever, I'm gonna complain a little and hope the scar shrinks with time.
So. If you get your VNS replaced... take it easy the next few days (I definitely overdid it on Thursday and felt like shit afterwards), stay hydrated (VERY important!) and maybe tell them to make their sutures pretty.
But also don't worry too much, because this was the easiest procedure I've ever had.
