@volltonig
he was beginning to wonder how many times was he gonna end up having this damn conversation? jördis, heiko… bing even, he’s had this conversation with so many people. hypocritical as it may be, he was getting sick of it. but the anger wasn’t directed at them; they showed concern & it was touching, the anger remained at himself. a pit in his stomach he was ignoring, refusing to acknowledge.
“yeah, i..” lukas trailed off, he felt stunted, both in words and emotionally - unable to move past this relationship of his that caused chaos years ago. had he certainly made some progress in healing from it? yes; but there was still a lot that had to be done, had to come out behind those locks & walls he had put himself in.
his mind was on astrid constantly, she wasn’t being used as a blockade for healing and nor would he ever accuse her of it. it’s just.. something that also came out of it. her teen years were approaching, she needed someone to be more vulnerable with; but also a rock, a teacher and a motivator, he wanted to be that person.
“i know i have to, she’s gonna be a teenager in a few years.. i want to be her rock.” at a loss for words, the german rubbed his eye with the joint of his thumb. laughing bitterly, he sighed. “whatever, it’s.. i’ll get through it. sorry for bringing you into this.”
”No, don’t be sorry.” Sini clasped her hands together, elbows resting upon her thighs as she leaned forward. “I have no doubt in my mind that you are her rock.”
Soft blues fell to the floor for a moment, searching for the right words. She wasn’t a parent, so she couldn’t speak for the maternal side of things. Yes, she knew how to take care of children and bond, but there was something different when it came to the bond between father and daughter, especially good ones. From what she’d heard and seen, the man seemed rather solid.
”You’re a great dad, Lukas.” There was no doubt in her mind about that. “I know it’s daunting, since she’s growing up. That’s your little girl and you want nothing but the best for her, but that’s what you're providing.”
Sini took in a small breath. “Listen, you can come to me to talk, express your concerns, anything. I’ll always help the best I can,” finally she lifted her head back up to gaze upon the other. “But you’re right, you’ll get through this. It doesn’t hurt to have a little help along the way, a shoulder or two to lean on."
