#vtm shitpost

[mrsqadiral-asmai]

I was possessed

[thefaethatstoleyourname]

Any other context: Flay me alive. -> horrifying implication of violence and of horror. Not at all a normal expression.

VtM: Flay me alive. -> that's just average kindred sex. Don't look at me like you are horrified. An expression of yearning for intimacy.

[knownsome]

Unlife-hack: did you know there's Door-dash for vampires? Kine call them "dating apps".

[dr-mingus]

Vampire Demolitionist who always walks slowly away from explosions like an action hero, but only because if he looks at it they'll immediately fear frenzy

[lucindaspartnerrealandtrue]

Confrontation...?

Silly drawing ignoring that I gave up on the background. Sometimes your sire leaves you with what SHE thinks is a blessing, and a letter explaining only the basics of your new unlife, telling you to find ger after you're ready. She did not expect that to be this soon.

✄ masterlist

[stygianbluetentacles]

The clans as HLVRAI Quotes

Baali: Well you're not supposed to smoke in the test chamber, Gordon!

Banu Haqim: Now, Gordon, you may have killed three innocent lives, but you have to stay calm!

Brujah: Nothing a little blunt force can't fix!

Caitiff: Twenty-THREE unique flavors!

Cappadocian: It can't hurt you if you're smart! That's…why we're all scientists!

Duskborn: They put potions on my computer.

Gangrel: Do you think I need to practice right now on that pigeon?

Giovanni: Everybody contains a skeleton, Gordon. I learned it in biology.

Lasombra: This man is a lazy layabout!

Malkavian: Gordon, I feel normal.

Nosferatu: I mean, aside from the extra creatures, I'm just seeing normal nuclear power plant stuff.

Ravnos: The wall is quite real.

Salubri: Don't fuck with the science team!

Setite: He doesn't even have his silly straw.

Toreador: Look at the water.

Tremere: Come now, Gordon, have a sip!

Tzimisce: We've been breeding them for 20 years to eat radioactive waste!

Ventrue: Gordon, nomenclature is nothing to mess around with!

[alicegravess]

Its hittin' different, I'm thirsting the blood of the ancients, diabolry callin' me like a loan shark calling his debtors

Thinbloods cooking up that shit that makes me think malkavian

The antideluvians ain't got shit on my vitae, slime, crusty old coffin goblins ain't nothing to me.

I'm a walking masquerade violation, shit don't matter to me, last thing the cammies see is the silk of my ancient chinese gloves

I have no clan, i have no loyalty, I'm catiff man, I don't even belong to MYSELF

[teskastektli]