The Joy in Vulnerability Project : Every Day Magic✨
I woke up early this morning. My brain was full of new writing ideas and projects so I turned on the twinkle lights and reached for my journal to jot down a few notes before passing out again. Vulnerability and the inability to see/use/create/act with vulnerability has been poking at me recently. I’m coming up on my three year anniversary of leaving a community that knew all of my sides. There was no constant battle to show or prove who I was or the capability of my magic because it was seen and believed in. I only had to allow my energy To Be. I left that sweet town behind because I could feel myself shrinking instead of expanding. I chose to set forth into a life of my own and was, for about a year or so, on a path of open vulnerability. It was hard but I was proud of my choice to throw myself into the unknown. Well, it got to be a bit much. Last year I got to a point where I needed a break because I felt…broken. I longed to simply be known and to rest for a moment, surrounded by people who I did not have to prove anything to. I tried to stop pushing so hard. And gradually, there they were: a small group of people who came into my Seattle life and stayed. A newly found Circle of Women and we are all supporting one another to heal, grow and be brave. This group has given me a chance to relax and reflect on the curiosity tap inside of me that I turned off last year - a much needed break from the newness being thrown at me every day. Here is where I stand now: When I stepped away from pushing into the unknown, a part of me began to shy away and question itself - herself. I began to question my ideas, thoughts and actions and in questioning them I lost the sense of confidence I had gathered by remaining open to change and the unanswered questions. I think it’s time to try again. I’m finally ready to get my knees scabbed up a bit as I start approaching some unknown horizons that I wasn’t ready for until now. My intuition is telling me the time is right. I’ve armor made of good people, a whole heart and fiery excitement.
I’m considering a writing/interview project to aid in the wiping away of timid thoughts and trauma and fears. These trips into self discovery have always been done on my own but I would like to invite others to explore with me. ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Setting out to prove:
The more open we are the more connected we become - to self, to others, and to spirit. The more connected we are, the more Joy we feel. The more Joy we feel, the more confidence we have to spread into our thoughts, feelings and life-goals.
So, stay tuned. Let me know if you want in. We can, like, hold hands before we jump or something.
