fuck it’s all he can think as dark eyes fall upon a familiar figure. too familiar. there’s a sudden, startling throb in his chest -- something he’s not used to. does he have a heart after all ? wren had made it seem so once upon a time. it’s long since gone cold again, the w a r m t h of the other boy’s touch having ebbed away and left him empty. it’s his own fault, he knows. but this was always the way it was supposed to be. matty was never supposed to learn the scent of wren on his pillow after a night spent sleeping beside him. he was never supposed to learn his morning routines, or share a basin with him to brush their teeth, eyes meeting in the mirror and knowing smiles making the seemingly mundane task just that little bit more difficult ( and abundantly more pleasurable ). if he’d never learned to c r a v e another’s touch, wren’s touch, then he never would’ve discovered what it was like to lose it. to miss it. ignorance was bliss, and he’d like to return to it. he does, for the most part, blocking all thoughts of such ridiculous romantic notions from the forefront of his mind. but each and every time he sees him, it all comes flooding back and leaves him aching to go back in time and to never offer the boy a wild time.
should he approach ? no, probably not. he hadn’t pegged himself for such a masochist ( though aren’t all writers and lovers of literature ? ), yet his feet are betraying him, carrying him toward the source of so many sleepless nights -- and not the pleasant kind. not all the pleasant kind. the music had been loud before, thunderously so until he barely had to think for his body to move in time to it. it seems to have quietened dramatically as he reaches his goal, his hell on earth, his once-nirvana. he’d hardly have to raise his voice to catch wren’s attention, but words have escaped him now and all he can do is lift his hand, hovering it over the other’s shoulder for a beat, before steeling himself and finally tapping to announce his presence.
❝ hey... ❞ it’s shamefully weak, but it’s all he can manage. | @vvrens
