Vyvanse Week One: Starring Me in “Once More With Trauma”
Been on Vyvanse for a week now and honestly? It feels like I got dropped into that Buffy musical episode—Once More, With Feeling—except instead of bursting into song, I’m blurting out truths I’ve spent years learning how to swallow.
I’m clear. I’m focused. I’m me, I think. But everything around me still feels like a dream—like I’m floating a few feet above my life, narrating it while I perform it.
And I’m saying things. Honest things. Things I should’ve said months ago. Things I maybe should never say. Things that burn after they leave my mouth.
And I say them smiling.
Because for the first time in forever, my brain is running without static—but it’s also not filtering for safety. There’s no internal “Should I say this?” alarm anymore. There’s just truth. And I don’t know if that’s healing or self-destruction. Maybe both.
I’ve apologized more this week than I did the entire last year. I’ve also told more truth.
It’s just weird to finally feel like you’re functioning… only to realize everyone preferred you when you were lying.
Anyway. Cue the outro music and let me dramatically walk away in a trench coat.