by design | @laurcnt
dongha adjusts his cufflinks, pulling on his right sleeve then his left. all the pledges have just shuffled in to what must be the dining hall. there’s a nervous, electric energy in the air, soon-to-be pledges milling about, trying to determine if there’s assigned seating for dinner. the empty spaces of words left unsaid — the society — is like a vacuum in conversation, leaving each exchange stilting, almost awkward. dongha’s hanging back, still unsure if he wants to be here or not.
by virtue — hah! — of being from a legacy family, dongha’s not going into tonight entirely blind. he has expectations, an understanding of what’s to come. it’s not so much initiation to the society that makes him nervous, but the other people around him, his peers. there’s definitely faces he recognizes, even some he would call friends, but the vast majority of these people have found their success in very different ways than he has. they’re well-practiced in small talk, in holding their liquor, in bulldozing out their path to the top.
dongha’s used to a little more delicacy, a little more procedure. he wants a rulebook, not implicit sarcasm and whispered secrets. if it wasn’t for — his ego, first of all, and han insoo second, he wouldn’t even be here tonight. he has to prove himself just as capable, even though he’s uncomfortable, out of his element.
he’s dressed the part, at least. it took a bit of finagling and a few frantic texts, but he finally got ahold of his cousin, seulgi, who stood in this very room some eight or nine years ago. she never made it as a virtue, but after losing her spot at sungkyunkwan she ran away from all of the shin family’s expectations and started her own fashion label. she’s always been one his favorite cousins — normally just a flannel-and-jeans kind of guy, dongha knows nothing about clothes, but her designs are always deceptively simple, the more interesting the longer you look at them. he appreciates it even more for her tenacity, her willingness to stand up to their grandfather.
dongha adjusts his cufflinks one last time, feels the luxuriously soft, weighty fabric of his suitcoat against his skin, and allows it to inspire just a little more confidence, a little more trust in himself.
he approaches the dinner table.