Breathe Again || Vic
PARTIES: @natusvincere SUMMARY: musings from mom!vic CONTENT WARNINGS: none!
There is no end to her laughter. That was, perhaps, the most unexpected part of motherhood. Laughter, giggles, wit- even from someone so small, radiated like rays of sunlight from someone already so bright. She was never supposed to keep her. She was going to find someone better, because even after they begged Vic to take her, she knew she wasn’t right for it. She had no model for how to be a parent- nothing but negative memories of a father who never wanted her and absolutely no memories of a mother who left too soon.
Well, nearly no memories of her. There was one, in particular, that plagued Vic in her best and worst moments. It was barely a memory; more like flashes of one. There was sunlight, and wildflowers, and giggles erupting from her own belly, too much to contain when she was wrapped in comfort. Was the smell she recalled something natural that radiated from her mother? Or was it the flowers that surrounded them?
It didn’t matter- one small memory of comfort and joy wouldn’t teach her how to raise a kid. It wouldn’t have if she were just a human, but her monstrous affliction made this idea that much more ridiculous. She put in countless hours of research to find a better place for her, but the more she searched, the more horror stories she came across.
But she was determined, and she had all the time in the world. Well, lots of time, except for when she was watching the baby… or feeding her, or playing with her, or rocking her to sleep. Rosie had this odd tendency of resting into Vic’s shoulder, reaching up at her face as if she were trying to get a better look.
Vic often found herself doing the same thing, soaking in as much of the child she could before she had to leave.
Once, when the baby was resting in her lap, reaching like she always did, Vic had taken to making silly faces at her, twisting and turning her features in ways that she wasn’t sure her they ever had. And then, for the first time, Rosie let out a laugh. It was short, and after a moment of being stunned, Vic twisted her face again, desperate to know if she’d imagined it. But sure enough, another giggle erupted from the baby.
Vic had lived over 300 years, and it was the sweetest sound she’d ever heard.
And it was after that she knew she was weak. A month of researching and planning to give her away was gone in less then a second, all thanks to a small moment of joy.
She knew, realistically, that the joy would end one day. She would have to watch it end, slowly and clearly, until one day she was alone again. But perhaps, as painful as that would be, the joy made it all worth it.
