#wakey rambles

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

Something that's been on my mind that I figure, eh, why not discuss on ace day.

in my heart, most of the characters I write are ace unless stated otherwise, but it's rarely outright stated. That's not out of a desire to keep it ambiguous or be palatable to allos, leaving them free to assume the characters get up to a lil' somethin' something' off screen. (I don't care if allo readers do this with my fics, but it's a side effect, not something I'm deliberately setting up.)

I just like the thought of a world where it never comes up. Where it's not assumed to be a requirement to the point where sexless and loveless are basically synonymous in most people's minds. Where a relationship feels real even without sex.

I realize of course that that could never be this world. No amount of ace positivity will bring the population to 50/50 allo/ace, and that's fine. Most people will want sex, which again, is fine. I don't have a problem with being in the minority, I have a problem with the minority being treated as defective or inferior.

But it's still fun to pretend there's a world where we don't have to talk about it, even if that means my characters never actually say they're ace or talk about being ace in any way.

That said, that won't be the case for all my fics forever. I do have one on the back burner that has the reader being explicitly stated as ace, and touches on the struggles of being alloromantic and asexual. (Not saying that combo has it WORSE than any other combo, just that each combo has a different set of woes.)

Uh. Anyway I don't have a great end point or conclusion for this. Something something even subtle rep can be good and healing?

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

My mind feels so fragmented lately. I feel like I can hardly focus, my writing's getting worse, my stories are getting shorter and more rushed, I can't make time to draw, I just get distracted by stupid shit and I'm always, always ALWAYS sleepy

I miss the drive and focus I had when I was working on Stereo Souls and Cymbal Crash...but I also don't completely want to go back to that mindset cuz I DO want hobbies other than writing but...augh

AUGH

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

Locking in to try to finish the last few chapters of Second Chances before getting to into Prototype x Reader.

Not to say the Prototype fic is delayed until I finish Second Chances or anything, but Second Chances has already gone a long time without an update so I don't want it to languish much longer.

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

All my bio-spider DJs are transmasc. Cuz I don't want to acknowledge the palpal bulbs.

Also my bio spiders don't have sex. Neither do humans. Eggs are brought to them by butterflys and storks respectively.

Keep your speculative biology I am writing IDEAL biology!!! /silly

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

So brainstorming/sorta working on a Prototype x reader and...I clearly have a fondness for the "evil/morally grey/universally disliked character encounters someone who is unaware of their past misdeeds and treats them kindly and it changes them profoundly" setup. Idk if there's a trope name for that (probably, there seems to be a trope name for everything. Maybe it's a combination of tropes?)

Probably shouldn't read into this.

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

Maybe this is me just being really nitpicky and pedantic but I have a strong distaste for when people are looking at concept art or early versions of some creative work and talking about how characters were "originally supposed to" look and act. As if the earlier drafts of a work are the most authentic.

And to some extent I get that. With bigwigs meddling it can certainly seem like the version the artists first came up with, before the studio/investors or whatever told them to change things, is more authentic. In some cases I'm sure that's true.

But like. Even left to their own devices, with no care for money or investors or building an audience, artists would still change things. Ideas would still be scrapped. Replaced. And looking at the old version and talking about how things were "supposed to" be makes it feel like any changes take away from the authenticity of the piece.

I dunno, I'm probably just reading too much into the phrase. Or projecting a bit. Cuz I know I have scrapped ideas for a lot of my work that I would be annoyed if people were like "Oh so originally [character] was SUPPOSED TO do this?"

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

I want to bookbind my fics but I don't even know what kind of cover designs I would want. Just text? Abstract symbols/imagery? (Eg Stereo Souls just having a kind of music note pattern) Simplified art (Eg silhouttes)? Detailed art? (Eg commission a painting cuz you know I can't paint that shit)

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

My boss told me to think more like Elon Musk and it's the most insulting thing anyone at my work has said to me since a manager told me to "Just be a total nazi about it." [It was his way of saying I should be strict.]

What I think my boss meant was that I should make big promises about big ideas and prioritize showing off, but don't fret so much about actually following through on any of it. Because that's clearly the sort of behavior that's rewarded at this company.