On an unlikely afternoon between Squiddly Diddly and Waverly Walrus
“You know something, Squiddly?” exclaimed Waverly Walrus one slightly hazy afternoon on the seaside deck of Waverly’s house, built into a sea cave on the Palos Verdes Peninsula a little north of where Marineland of the Pacific used to stand, with a slightly Anglo-Russian accent.
“What exactly do you mean, Waverly?” was how Squiddly Diddly responded.
“Squiddly, I can’t help but feel more wonderful in the ocean, even allowing for this house I have built into the cliffside. Even when you’re sunning yourself on a pebbly-looking beach like that off to the side ... and you suddenly realise that you need to just release ‘those feelings’ inside of you.”
“Even with girlfriends like you happen to have?”
“I most certainly enjoy their company and then some, especially when I’m doing my diving in the water for as much exercise as to sustain myself. Not to mention my rather interesting lovemaking skills being put into practice.”
“Which must be rather wonderful ... and I vaguely recall you wanted me to take some photographs of you?”
“Ahhhh yes,” Waverly remembered at the very mention. “I understand you happen to be a rather adroit underwater photographer and--”
“I just so happen, Waverly,” Squiddly exclaimed, producing his trusty Nikonos from its camera bag, “to have remembered what you had in mind. And I assume you wanted some underwater shots in the bargain?”
“Thank you for reminding me. THOSE would probably have to be some of the best shots you will want to take of me ... and I know plenty of worthwhile spots in the waters offshore where I’d appreciate posing.”
“And not to be outdone, I believe you also want a few taken on land, especially on that pebble beach before us.” (Exchanged, no doubt, over halfway-decent Californian white wine of the sort Waverly Walrus can’t resist, from a somewhat obscure vineyard on the Monterey Peninsula.)
“Oh, and before I forget,” Waverly remarked, “I assume you want some pictures with my current girlfriends.”
“I was thinking much that way myself.” (Pause) “And do understand that it will likely be a few days, to allow for processing, before I can send you the final pictures for your consideration.”
“Agreed.”
With that, Squiddly’s trusted Nikonos couldn’t have seen more of a workout with plenty of pictures of Waverly Walrus, both in water and without, on the pebble-strewn beach and among offshore rock reefs, shelling open clams and oysters in the deeps and finding some “quality time” with Wendella, one of Waverly’s current girlfriends, in a most pure and wonderful state of underwater romance which, Waverly Walrus was quick to admit, “never felt more wonderful”--as well as close together on the beach. In all, no less than two 24-exposure film rolls were used by Squiddly Diddly for the session to hand, considering the variety of action Waverly Walrus wanted captured.
After quite the supper of seared Pacific salmon steaks, as well as the admiration of Wendella Walrus, Squiddly Diddly had to be on his way to process what had ensued and get some prints ready for Waverly’s approval. Even if it meant having to make wholly fresh batches of developer and fixer solution to ensure that the whole came out to Waverly’s approval.
Three days and some refresher dives with Peter Potamus’ Travelling SCUBA Par-tay at their La Jolla compound later, Squiddly Diddly got the prints ready for Waverly to examine and approve at the same Palos Verdes Peninsula quarters, with the deck of Waverly’s quarters just above high tide (and adding to the serendipitious quality to hand) ... and sorting through the whole, Waverly couldn’t help but chuckle at one particular picture which found him with a sudden and unprovoked erection underwater that Waverly, in common with walruses under the circumstances, made the most of, for which Squiddly apologised if such was seen to cause unease or offense.
“It might surrpise you, Squiddly,” Waverly was quick to remark, “that walruses do have sexual fantasies galore, especially outside the mating period.”
“Which must be rather fascinating, I have to admit,” was how Squiddly Diddly took it. But at any rate, among the photos Waverly approved of were a closeup of him underwater, close to the bottom ... one showing Waverly whimsically rolling around underwater ... one with Waverly reclining oh so coyly on the beach, another such looking outside the sea cave and towards the waters ... and several with Waverly’s girlfriends, both on the beach and underwater (including an especially tender one showing Waverly and Wendella affectionately nuzzling each other underwater, as if seeking out some “quality time” together).
“I trust that I’ve satisfied you photographically,” Squiddly remarked with some hesitancy, “and did not disappoint. Even with some accidental displays of your penis.”
“Squiddly,” Waverly responded, “such are bound to happen among walruses like ourselves ... did you know that during mating season, one male walrus can mate as many as 25 females?”
“You certainly stunned me with that one, Waverly!” (Short pause.) “At any rate, I’ll get some prints made of the photos you especially liked and send them on to you.”
“Thanks ... I especially have in mind sharing such with a few of my friends. Including that diver friend of yours, Peter Potamus I believe his name is.”
“Which it is ... and I’m certain he’ll like them.”
True to word, Squiddly Diddly sent the several prints as Waverly found to his liking on. And a few days later came this brief message in the mails:
Squiddly--
Thanks again for such a wonderfully photographic day such as we had. The photos you made certainly showed it, especially underwater. However did you learn such talent?
Affectionately, Waverly Walrus
(At any rate, the answer is probably something close to Squiddly’s heart that he’ll never explain.)
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