It's So Hanna-Barberaesque

Home for fanfics, LOLz and musings in the spirit of Hanna-Barbera and its byproducts. Dedicated to the memories of William Hanna (1910-2001), Joseph Barbera (1911-2006), Daws Butler (1916-1988), Don Messick (1926-1997), Iwao "Tak" Takamoto (1925-2007) and Jerry Eisenberg (1937-2025).

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Meanwhile, at The Malt Shoppe with Bingo and his girlfriend/lover Keno

[Wherein we find The Banana Splits' drummer and main jokester and girlfriend at a booth with no less than five empty malt glasses and as many mixer cups as another evening winds down …] BINGO, wistfully: Five malts … and she still gives me the same answer … [Meanwhile, Zelda the Ostrich, one of the waitresses there, comes along and collects the impedimentia for the dishwasher as--well, you get the idea …] ZELDA THE OSTRICH, enthused in her own way: Awww, a pair of lovebirds, as it were … I'll take that stuff away for you … BINGO: Go right ahead; Keno and I are more or less finished. ZELDA THE OSTRICH, somewhat surprised: Soooo, Bingo now has a girlfriend!! BINGO, excitedly: And her name's Keno--as in the casino game…. ZELDA THE OSTRICH: Sort of like Lotto, I understand … KENO "herself," with a touch of modesty: You can say as much, Zelda. ZELDA THE OSTRICH: Well well well … so what's the plan for later on? We're about to close anyway … BINGO: At any rate, Keno and I will be heading to the shack and make some loving as well! ZELDA THE OSTRICH, excitedly: How wonderful that would be!! At any rate, enjoy the evening … [Whereupon our simian lovers take leave of the Malt Shoppe for their evening-long delight, sexually especially]

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Just before a sexual initiation exercise led by Cindy Bear

CINDY BEAR, sounding so Southern all the while: I certainly hope you're ready for this magical adventure as can happen but once in a bear's lifetime … imagine, actually discovering sexuality by actual experience! AN EXCITABLE YOUNG MALE BEAR: You know I just can't wait to see what it feels like! CINDY BEAR: So just mount yourself upon me and … just sense that magical feeling of release!! [At any rate, the young bruin mounts Cindy from behind and--I assume you know the rest]

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And it looks as if the Hair Bears' ursine mating season road trip is more or less underway:

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I can barely imagine Penelope Pitstop having this as her styling lamp of choice:

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Meanwhile, with Ruff and Reddy watching TV

[Mise en scene: For some reason, the programme they're watching--perhaps some piece of prolefeed rubbish more than likely--is suddenly interrupted by an old-school test pattern and tone, prompting this exchange] RUFF, somewhat startled: So what exactly happened to the programme, Reddy? REDDY, somewhat patient about it: I just can't help but be surprised at just how suddenly our show got replaced by this test pattern! [After about a minute of the tone, the test pattern still displaying on screen, an announcement could be heard to the effect of "Please do not adjust your set; we are currenly experiencing technical difficulties. Regular programming will return as soon as possible," followed by some music. Meanwhile--] REDDY: Is it just me, Ruff, or does it seem that some stations can't help but start getting unnerved at the quality of programming being presented to the point of just switching to the test pattern spontaneously? RUFF: Beats me …

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Poetry Corner

We could hardly imagine the sheer prospect of a certain Snorky being in the company of those Sour Grapes Girls-- those rather noisome girls towards The Banana Splits generally-- for something of an evening turning out being rather fascinating.

Fascinating out of a sense of sexual desire and fascination on the Sour Grapes' part-- one rooted in "seeing what it must be like" to make love with a baby elephant still acting a bit childish, yet having some curiosity about things sexual.

Especially so the claims of "Charlie" that Snorky had a rather interesting penis, and perhaps the girls wanting to find out what said penis feels like in lovemaking, and how much their vaginal warmth could stimulate Snorky in penetration all the way to ejaculation. Not to mention the sensation Snorky must be feeling throughout.

As to how such could likely come out--?

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YOGI BEAR, drooling over a rather substantial cheesecake as part of his latest picnic-basket plunder in Jellystone Park: Hey hey hey ... this bear just cannot resist the taste of a white chocolate cheesecake ...

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Nothing could suggest Hog Waller better than--

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Over lunch with Sheena the Lioness and Raquel Wrench, feline divers extraordinaire

MOI, rather surprised: I didn't know you two would be coming along-- SHEENA THE LIONESS, getting right down to it: And I think it's rather interesting how you think highly and well of us-- MOI: I take it you mean you and Raquel. RAQUEL WRENCH, in her seductive Latin American goloss: How obvious could it be? Especially when Sheena and I happen to be quite the diver gals! MOI: And I take it you two met rather suddenly on a movie set. SHEENA THE LIONESS: And what a stunner it was, just as I got the diver role in that rather cheesy horror film The Chartreuse Goon from Lake Legume; I suppose you've seen it. MOI: I can't say that I have. SHEENA THE LIONESS: One thing is certain, I'll have you know … my best girl, Zelda the Ostrich, recommended me for the casting call during one of our conversations back at The Malt Shoppe. As a matter of fact, I've been taking up diving for some while, both SCUBA and snorkelling. Cheer squad, I admit, is alright in itself, but thank Zelda for being the sort to suggest my widening my horizons, especially after starting SCUBA lessons on whim. RAQUEL WRENCH, adding her quarter: And I'd been taking up diving off and on, rather casually. Snorkelling initially, gravitating to SCUBA over time. MOI: After all, it's my understanding that diving schools start training with snorkelling, gradually moving to SCUBA. SHEENA THE LIONESS: How correct you are! Over time, Raquel and I developed a dive-centrist friendship, to the point of having diving excursions from time to time … generally every other weekend, depending on weather and where the diving was supposed to be good. And before long, we were developing some contacts in the film and television community who were interested in diving, with the odd impromptu diving vacation along the coast, maybe on Catalina if things were right. RAQUEL WRENCH: I can't help but find Catalina to be especially fascinating as a diving spot … what fascinating variety of marine life! But we find a number of spots off the Baja Peninsuls particularly fascinating--what spectacular coral reefs in particular! MOI: Just out of curiosity … what would be your ideal diving fantasy? RAQUEL WRENCH, with seductiveness in her voice: Perhaps on some Caribbean or Polynesian island most isolated, just the two of us wearing nothing but ourselves, just lazing along some beautifully spectacular coral reefs just holding our breaths all along. What could be more fascinating? SHEENA THE LIONESS: True, Raquel … but then again, we've imagined going up to some lake in northern Minnesota or Wisconsin and kill some time diving in some rather fascinating lake to see what some lake must look like underneath the surface. MOI: Naked, I assume? SHEENA THE LIONESS: That would depend on the locale and milieu, understandably … MOI: Yet could you imagine yourself stumbling upon the Hair Bear Bunch, say, on their mating season road trip while you were diving on same lake? RAQUEL WRENCH, stunned: Weeeeeellllllllll … SHEENA THE LIONESS: What more could you imagine from us?

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Just looking out for the ideal wave ...

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Caturdazzlin' with Crazy Claws № 8

I could just imagine this scene: Magilla Gorilla taking breakfast at the legendary Mr. Pancake in form of a Hot Fudge Banana Split Waffle--and in close proximity to (who else?) The Banana Splits enjoying same. And neither knows of the other's presence beforehand ... yet then again, the tourists having brekkie manage to keep the autograph and/or selfie requests muted. But then again, the waitress who served Magilla was able to get a selfie.

They say candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker; Undercover Elephant, for some reason, can't resist the Coconut Cashew Crunch per Swiss Maid Fudge. Neither can his mouse comrade, Loudmouse.

"There's No Laws When You're Drinkin' Claws," or so the T-shirt hath it (as in White Claw Hard Seltzer) ... but this cat begs to differ; I'm not the sort who prefers White Claw, and besides, alcohol dehydrates. Just give me some straight lime seltzer water, preferably chilled.

Dream stunt of yours truly: When the bars close at 2 am, just picture yours truly walking a wire over Broadway, stunning the owl crowd as just had their last drinks and are seeking rides back to their motels or resorts, with Leon Russell's "High Wire" playing as accompaiment to the stunt. Within minutes, someone with a mobile manages to make the inevitable video of my stunt, and such manages to go extreme viral by sunrise in Wisconsin Dells, which happens to be mid-morning in London. midday in Johannesburg, late afternoon in Mumbai, early evening in Tokyo and Sydney and just past midnight in Honolulu. Such is how the world moves when things get viral.

Yours till the pizza joints start including Tums with the check ...

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No doubt the kind of full moon night during the ursine mating season such as the Hair Bears can't help but find magical big time:

(Especially when Hair and Square have deep and exceptionally romantic mating sessions with especially magical females in the shallows aboit waist high)

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A definite highlight of any journey which Peter Potamus takes in Polynesia Uncharted

Being in the serious company of a dolphin in some lagoon (naked, after the native custom) which turns out being rather fascinating ... climaxing in the pair having some serious bonding-type love in the lagoon shallows.

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I could hardly imagine any among the cars of Hanna-Barberadom fitted with these:

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Over lunch with me, Hokey Wolf and his compadre Ding-a-Ling

HOKEY WOLF, in that unmistakable Sgt. Bilko goloss: Rather interesting that I could invite you over for lunch as we are--me and Ding, understand! DING-A-LING, rejoindering: As in none other than me, Ding-a-Ling! HOKEY WOLF, excitedly: Who else could it be, exactly?! MOI, somewhat fascinated: You're a rather interesting character there, Hokey, I have to admit. HOKEY WOLF, keeping up the Bilko tone and nuance: How else could it be for this particular exemplar of the lupine race, overflowing with charm, attraction, personality even, as per a certain Snagglepuss? And besides, yours truly has an interesting new sideline in the bargain--as in teaming up alongside Loopy De Loop, Mildew Wolf … and a couple of lupine gals, Gaga Wolf and Harmony Wolf by name, in a rather interesting little diving crew, going out and about in some rather crazy and fascinating diving adventures! DING-A-LING, adding his share: Not to mention me and Bon-Bon having some diving escapades on our part! HOKEY WOLF, with a slight twinge of hesitancy: Right, I almost forgot about you and Bon-Bon-- MOI: I believe Bon-Bon is Loopy's somewhat cheeky nephew-- HOKEY WOLF: Thank you for reminding me; besides, aren't the Divin' Wolf Pups rather exciting underwater? DING-A-LING, with excitement in his voice: Hokey is MY HERO--!!! HOKEY WOLF: Now, mind you, we enjoy SCUBA for the most part, but on occasion we also take up the snorkelling habit … besides, isn't being underwater a rather exciting thing? I assume you've heard of sea wolves, kid … we happen to be one step--or should that be leg stroke?--ahead of all others, even to the point of where a certain Peter Potamus will come over and swap diving tales and lore with us like you wouldn't believe!! DING-A-LING: Is it any wonder the diving lore can get to be rather fascinating, especially the stuff from Peter Potamus of his Polynesian adventures? MOI: I should say so myself … and I suppose our diver girlfriends also contribute their share of dive tales and fantssies as well! HOKEY WOLF: How right you are! And we're working on a volume of some of our favourite diving escapades, including some featuring some underwater love! MOI: I wish you well for it…. HOKEY WOLF: But then again, if I may share with you a volume me and Ding wrote some years back, explaining our passion for the underwater side of things, and sharing an atypical diving experience with Loopy and Mildew, not to mention Bon-Bon and ding … as a matter of fact, it's with our complements, not to mention our autographs!! [Whereupon Hokey and ding sign a special copy of their volume, entitled Come Diving with Hokey Wolf and Ding-a-Ling--and some close friends, and presents same to me. I modestly take my thanks, and we offer to correspond in the bargain …]

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Imagine this as the opening sequence for a show featuring Scooba-Doo, my original Hanna-Barberian character imagined as a littermate of Scooby-Doo

(The narration perhaps being done in a goloss as is a cross between Gary Owens and Don Messick, who did plenty of voice work at 3400 Cahuenga Boulevard. The whole could be imagined opening with some rather predictable action shots of Scooby-Doo in action against monsters, ghosts, üsw., with the narration--)

YE NARRATOR: You probably know already about Scooby-Doo ... but have you heard of his dive-happy littermate--SCOOBA-DOO?! (Whereupon an incredulous-sounding Scooby-Doo responds "Rooba-Roo? Ry rwn rother?!", followed by a Great Dane in the vein of the most celebrated Scooby-Doo wearing SCUBA getup--mask, regulator, air tank, harness, weight belt, fins--) SCOOBA-DOO, taking stock of himself and looking cool and sophisto as a "dive rat" type: Yup--SCOOBA-DOO! (Followed by an interesting multi-frame montage showing Scooba-Doo in a number of diving-type adventures involving SCUBA and freediving, including at least two with Scooba-Doo in a wetsuit)

YE NARRATOR, picking up the narration: To this canine, diving is HIS passion, just as mysteries are for his cousin Scooby ... and whether it's breath hold or SCUBA, expect THIS canine to be satisfied, and really enjoying the underwater experience! So let's get diving with none other than-- SCOOBA-DOO, holding his mask in his forepaw and just looking casual in contemplating the next dive adventure: SCOOBA-DOO! (Which, unlike the famous Scooby-Doo, speaks coherently and sounds quite laid back in the surfah manner, but with a relaxed and casual sort of attitude ... closing with the show's logo, which, for maximum effect, may want to incorporate the "diver down" flag, badge of the diving confraternity)

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I could just imagine some component of the Hanna-Barbera Dive Club using this motorhome as something of a mobile base of operations and bivouac, but methinks I'm a a loss trying to figure out the ideal sort.