Discover Top Posts Tagged with #wandering light

On Sweeter Tides

Terra is the captain of a proud ship full of marauders. It's no surprise that people across the seven seas want to join his crew. How was he to know that one boy would be the start of such a grand adventure?

Written for Terraqua Day 2019

Words:10k Rating: T Read it on AO3!

Terra leaned his weight against the sturdy wooden railing, staring out toward the sunset as it dipped itself into the ocean horizon. His hair, scraggly and the color of damp, fresh earth, blew in the wind that surrounded the ship as he pondered the reflections of light on the water’s surface. How had things gone so wrong so quickly? It felt like just last week that he’d been sitting in some pub at the end of the world, grinning ear from ear as he’d bragged about how great his crew was.

“Best damn crew on the seas,” he’d boasted over a flagon of warm, cool and refreshing against calloused palms. “Nothing could stop us.”

But he’d been wrong, hadn’t he? His damn mouth always served to get him into trouble. First with their newest crew member, and now with this.

Terra scrubbed his face with his hands, pressing his palms into his eyes until bright spots danced against the blackness of his eyelids. It wasn’t even their fault, he reasoned. Terra had let himself get ahead of all his carefully laid plans, full of confidence and warming rum and the laughter of good company. His crew was easy to brag over. He had a crew of warriors, from Lea (who lived for cannonfire like he’d been born with a cannonball as a twin) to Sora, a scrawny boy who wielded a sword with something like insanity in his grip. They even had a great doctor in Even, who had put together men Terra swore wouldn’t survive the night. And there there was Ven, his first mate, a man always eager and ready to take on the world. He climbed rigging like nobody Terra had ever seen, except maybe their new recruit.

---

They’d picked the new guy up a few months ago, in a small seaside port. He was calm as he approached the crew in the inn, one of the only people not giving the raucous group of men side eye as they enjoyed their first day on land in weeks. Terra noticed that while the young man had been trying to appear confident, his body language implied that he didn’t want to be noticed. By them? Or by the others in the bar? Terra wasn’t sure, and the young man had approached before Terra could give it any further thought.

“You looking for any new crew?” the young man asked, settling himself down in an empty chair across from Terra. The captain looked the boy up and down slowly. He noticed the softness of his jawline and the softness of his arms. His hair, the unusual color of a clear sea sky, was cropped unevenly, falling in pieces around his face. He looked like a child, Terra thought, the kind of boy who had never seen a day of hard work.

“Sorry,” Terra said, leaning back in his chair. “Ship’s full.”

The boy looked crestfallen for a moment, the delicacy of his face even more pronounced in his defeat, before the boy gathered himself visibly and sat in the seat across from Terra, much to Terra’s surprise. Usually the people he turned down either threw a fit or sulked away in shame.

“Room for a drinking partner, at least?” the young boy asked, already waving down one of the ladies from behind the bar. “First round’s on me.”

Terra, never one to turn down a free mug of ale, shrugged. What was the harm in drinking with the boy, after all? It wasn’t like the boy would change Terra’s mind, and Terra had no problems with drinking on another’s coin.

“Alright then,” Terra agreed as he leaned forward again. “Terra. Captain Terra Maduro.” He held his hand out across the table. The boy’s grip was firm.

“Aqua,” he replied. “Aqua Maki.”

Terra resisted the urge to snort at the feminine name. No wonder the boy seemed so desperate for some adventure. “Mum wanted a little lady, aye?”

The boy laughed as he fished for a couple coins from the pouch at his pocket, exchanging it to the woman carrying two mugs of ale. He passed one over to Terra before lifting the other, tilting it toward Terra in a mocking salute. “You don’t know the half of it.”

Terra laughed and downed half his mug. Across from him, Aqua did the same. Terra took in a moment to soak in all the things he enjoyed about being on land- the warm fire in the grate, the sound of people he didn’t know laughing and living their lives around him, the steadiness of the ground. It had been a while since his crew had been to port, and after tonight, it would be a while before they were again. They were scheduled to make a supply run, something that would take a month or two at the least if they didn’t allow themselves any distractions.

They had never made a trip without distractions before. Terra doubted this trip would be the first.

From behind him, someone shouted his name before colliding heavily with his back. Terra jerked forward, nearly choking on his mouthful of ale. A cacophony of noise heralded the entry of his whole crew into the bar, headed by Lea and Sora. Everyone enjoyed port days, taking their chance to eat and drink their fill.

“Who’s this?” the weight on his back asked. Terra recognized the voice immediately.

“Ven, meet Aqua. Aqua, my first mate Ven.”

Ven grinned at the young man and released Terra’s neck, much to Terra’s relief. He rubbed his neck while Ven looked the new boy up and down.

“Is Aqua going to be joining us, then?” Ven asked. Aqua shook his head before Terra could even say anything.

“Nah. Ship’s full, I hear.” Aqua said. Terra ignored the slight bite in his voice. He’d dealt with much worse as captain of a ship than some stranger’s annoyance.

Ven shrugged, clearly already tuning out of the conversation in favor of the bar where flagons of cold ale were being poured. “Nothing to be done then, I suppose.”

Aqua knocked back the last of his ale, then stood with the empty mug in his hand. “You got it. C’mon, I’ll get another round.”

Terra watched with slight confusion as Aqua headed to the bar with his pouch already open. The confusion became surprise when he fished out a couple of gold coins and paid for his entire crew’s drinks. Who was this stranger? Where did he get the coin to spend like this?

Still, he would never be the kind of man to turn down someone else’s generosity, especially not when it involved free booze, so he pushed himself away from the table and went to join his crew. He’d enjoy his last night on shore for a while, even if it killed him.

---

The sun streaming through open portholes was enough to rip Terra, slowly and painfully, from his slumber and into consciousness. Terra grit his teeth, the slow rocking of his ship threatening to send his roiling stomach into rebellion. He swallowed heavily against the bile. Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up.

After a few moments, the immediate nausea began to subside and Terra felt like he could maybe stand up and face the day. Well, maybe not the whole day, but at least face the mess cabin long enough to get some water and maybe some food. After that, he’d retreat to his cabin until he absolutely had to show his face. Captain’s privileges.

He took a moment to look at himself in the small mirror in his room, taking in the slightly sallow look of his cheeks, the stubble showing its face along his jawline. He looked a little bit like death. It’d been a while since he’d drank like that, with no regard to his crew racking up a bill they couldn’t afford to pay. They might be pirates, but Terra tried very hard to avoid injuring innocents in the process. But their guest for the evening, Aqua, seemed to have the kind of deep pockets necessary to support a crew looking to party like they hadn’t seen dry land in months. (Which they hadn’t.) If they ever landed in that tiny port town again, he would have to find the boy and thank him for his kindness to his crew.

Terra rubbed his face, took a deep breath, and opened his cabin door to let the hellish light in. Immediately, the sun tried to stab him in the eyes. Terra frowned, ducking his head and darting half-blind in the direction of the mess cabin, where he hoped Sora had made something that would absorb all of the alcohol threatening to come back up. He was expecting the usual chaos of his crew in the morning, squabbling over the last of whatever Sora had made for breakfast that morning. He had a gift for turning preserved sea faring food into things that were almost edible, especially comparing to eating hardtack for three months in a row.

He wasn’t, however, expecting to find their patron of the evening before sitting in the center of the throng, happily telling stories and enjoying his breakfast with his crew.

Ven, who was sitting next to their new guest, grinned over at Terra and waved him over to join the crew. Terra, after a moment’s pause, elected to take his seat.

“Why the hell is he on my ship?” Terra hissed to Ven as soon as he took a seat. Ven, who was halfway through spooning out a portion of breakfast, look confused.

“Whaddya mean, ‘why is he here’?” Ven responded. “You invited him on.”

Terra frowned and stood up, grabbing Ven by the arm and janking him out of the mess hall. His stomach roared in anger, threatening to allow last night’s drinks a reappearance. When they were safely outside the hall, he turned on Ven.

“I did not invite him on my ship,” Terra said. Ven shook his head, leaning back against the wooden wall and putting his hands behind his head.

“Well, invited is a hard word, I guess. Do you not remember what happened last night?” Ven asked, a mischievous smile on his face. Terra paused, licking his dry lips and trying to remember anything about the night before. He remembered the conversation at the bar, telling Aqua that there was no more room on the ship. He remembered Aqua offering to buy their drinks for wasting his time. He remembered drinking- a lot of it, his whole crew indulging on Aqua’s seemingly endless pockets. But after that…

“Not really, no.”

Ven laughed, pushing himself away from the wall and offering Terra an impish grin. “Well, he challenged you to arm wrestling.”

Terra rolled his eyes. “I don’t want a play by play, Ven. How did he get on my ship?!”

“I’m getting there!” Ven said. “He challenged you to arm wrestling on one condition. If he won, you’d let him come along.”

Terra stared at him for a moment, his brain refusing to catch up to the reality that the scrawny boy sitting in his galley had actually managed to beat any of his crew at anything strength based, let alone him.

“You’re joking.” Terra said flatly. “This is a joke.”

Ven shook his head. “Nope. You were plastered, and he beat you. So stop throwing a fit and go welcome our new crewmate. While you’ve been sleeping,” Ven emphasized the word sleeping like it was a dirty word, “I’ve already given him a tour.”

Terra groaned. He would rather do anything other than invite this new person to his ship, but what choice did he have? If Ven said he’d given his word, then his word he would stand by.

But it didn’t mean he had to like it.

---

Terra had been telling the truth when he’d said his ship had no vacancies, but at the same time, a promise was a promise. Terra might be a pirate captain, but he never went back on a promise he made, and so Aqua became the newest member of his ragtag crew. Much to Terra’s surprise, Aqua fit into his crew rather well. His ability to swing from place to place on the mast was already nearly equal to Ven’s, with a grace Terra didn’t think Ven would ever learn.

Truthfully, everything Aqua did seemed to be with a strange grace, like he was a dancer living his day to day life. Without any definite place to put him, Terra simply assigned him to help out around the ship as necessary. Some days, Aqua worked alongside Even in the medical bay, cleaning up the messes from treating the others. Other days, he practiced his swordplay alongside Riku and Sora, usually losing but occasionally getting enough of an upper hand to disarm one of them before the other would have him by the throat.

“He’s pretty good,” Riku confided in Terra over dinner one evening, about a month and a half after . “I’m not even holding back on him anymore.”

Terra nodded, looking across the room to where Aqua was chatting with Even, taking notes as they talked about something Terra couldn’t hear. Aqua and Even had gotten very close over the last month and a half on the ship, with Aqua spending much of his time in the infirmary helping Even prepare poultices and fresh bandages, learning to deal with minor aches and pains of life on the open seas. He was fitting into Terra's crew just fine.

Finding him a place to sleep had been hard. It wasn't like he could just add room for another hammock somewhere. The ship had a finite amount of space, and Terra couldn't just make more where none existed. Aqua had ended up sleeping in a hammock strung up in the storage room, separate from the rest of the crew. Terra really hadn’t been all that apologetic about it, since he’d tricked his way onto the ship anyway, but Aqua didn’t really seem all that hurt by the separate living quarters.

Terra sighed and rubbed his face, turning back to Riku. “Do you think he could hold his own in a real fight?”

Riku grinned. “They have to catch him first.”

From outside, an alarm sounded out. There was a moment of silence as the dining hall went completely still, listening for any sort of sound, waiting for a silent cue.

The whole ship rocked with an impact, the wooden timbers creaking from the force, and it was like a fire was lit beneath the room. As one, the whole crew leapt from their chairs and benches. Terra vaulted his table, pulling the sword that was ever present at his waist and leading the charge up the stars and onto the main deck.

“We’re being boarded!” Sora called down from his spot on the top of the mast before grabbing a rope and sliding his way down to the deck. “Starboard side- it looks like Xigbar’s ship!”

Terra grit his teeth, adjusting his grip on his sword as he turned toward the side Sora indicated. Sure enough, he watched as another plank landed heavily on the side of the ship. He could see, faintly, that the impact the ship had suffered appeared to be some sort of hook stuck into the side of the ship, keeping his ship trapped against the side of the enemy ship. On the other deck, Xigbar stood amid the chaos of another crew all in black, an eyepatch covering his right eye. As if feeling Terra’s eyes on him, he turned and slowly grinned. Slowly, like the world was moving at half speed, he raised a gun and aimed it at Terra’s ship. His mouth moved as he said something taken by the wind, but the effect was immediate. With a roar, the opposing crew climbed up onto the boards connecting the two vessels and stormed the ship, swords raised toward the sky.

Terra’s crew quickly fell to battle with the opposing side, the deck filled with the sounds of swords clashing and the occasional scream of pain or terror. Terra felt no fear as he cut through the enemy crews toward the place of boarding. His crew would have is back, just like they always did. Terra trusted this crew with his life.

He knew Xigbar had been hunting for him. The pirate had never forgiven Terra for the last time they’d met. Xigbar had only intended to scare the young captain, trying to intimidate him into giving up the valuables that lay in the belly of the ship. He had never meant things to come to blows, not really. But Terra had been young and inexperienced, a first mate promoted after the loss of his own captain, Eraqus, who had treated Terra like his own son. Terra had been grieving him, terrified of losing anybody else in his little family, and when Xigbar brandished his sword at Ven, well…

Terra didn’t remember much else after that moment, but when he came back to himself, the ship was clear and his sword was soaked in blood and viscera that Terra was afraid to examine too closely. His crew had respected him more after that moment, but at what cost?

Terra finally reached the planks, his sword and coat both splattered with blood, and climbed up onto the plank.

“Xigbar!” he bellowed across the gap between the boats. “Showing your face around here again was a bad idea!”

Xigbar smirked, taking a position on the opposite side of the plank. Where Terra took a position of strength, all muscle ready to stroke, Xigbar looked completely at ease. The hair on the back of Terra’s neck prickled. Something was wrong. They might as well have been old friends catching up. “As if.”

Terra paused. “What do you want, Xigbar?” he asked. His fingers twitched on the hilt of his sword. “Here for me to take your other eye?”

A frown crossed Xigbar’s face, and behind it, a shadow of something much darker, far more dangerous. Terra tightened his grip. “You know what they say on the seas, Terra,” he said. “An eye for an eye.”

Terra lifted his sword. “Come take it if you can, then.” Xigbar laughed, a sound with no mirth. Terra fought off a shudder, keeping his eyes on Xigbar.

From behind him, Ven screamed. “Terra!”

Without even thinking, acting solely on his instincts to protect his brother, Terra looked away from Xigbar.

It was just for a second.

He hadn’t even meant to.

“Terra!” Another voice screamed. He heard footsteps.

Something slammed into him. From across the gap, he heard a deafening bang.

Terra hit the ground with a loud, painful thud. A warm weight sat heavy on his chest. His shirt felt wet. His head was spinning.

From around him, there was cheering and the sound of many feet. The other crew was retreating across the planks, chased after by various members of Terra’s crew. The whole world was shivering around him. The weight on his chest really was quite warm. It would be nice to take a nap here. His eyes drifted closed.

Hands on his shoulders. Yelling. “Someone get them to Even!”

His shoulders being shaken. Pounding in his head. The weight vanished amid the sound of feet.

A gentle hand on Terra’s shoulder. His ears were ringing.

“Terra?” Ven said quietly. His shadow shifted, blocked out the light, and the pounding in Terra’s head eased a little. “Terra, are you alright?”

Terra groaned, his head coming up to clutch his head. Was he alright? He took a slow mental check. He could still feel his limbs. Nothing seemed terribly in pain other than his head.

“I think so.”

Ven sighed in relief and gave him a tight hug. Terra slowly pulled him closer. They’d been like brothers their entire lives, training until Captain Eraqus to become true men of the sea. When Eraqus died, Ven had gone a little… off. Grief would always be hard for Ven, a boy made of so much sunlight, but for a while it was like a zombie had come and replaced Terra’s brother. When Ven finally started to reemerge after months, it was like seeing land again. He couldn’t even imagine what would happen to Ven if something happened to him.

Speaking of happening to him…

“Ven,” Terra said as he pulled away from the embrace. He politely pretended that he couldn’t see the tears dripping down Ven’s cheeks. “What happened?”

Ven wiped his eyes and visibly gathered himself, grabbing Terra’s wrist and dragging him toward Even’s office. “Xigbar tried to shoot you.”

“What?!” Terra yelled, dragging Ven to a stop. “Did he miss or something?”

Ven shook his head, yanking against Terra’s arm. “No. Just missed his target.”

Suddenly, everything clicked into place, and then he was the one pulling Ven along as they ran. His head pounded in protest, but Terra ignored it. There were far bigger problems to face right now.

“Who did he hit, Ventus?” Terra asked, already fearing the worst. Would it be Sora laying on that cold wooden table, blue eyes turning gray as the life drained away? Or would it be Vanitas, who always threw himself into danger, blood matting his black hair? Or would it be Lea or Riku or Isa or Roxas or any of the other men who called him captain, who trusted him to lead them safely?

If any of them died, it would be his fault. He might not have pulled the trigger, but it was he who would have their blood on his hands.

“It’s Aqua.”

---

When Even finally allowed Terra to enter the surgery room, the sun had already set over the horizon. They’d anchored as soon as they could, off a tiny deserted island, to give Even the steadiest seas possible. Even had locked himself in his surgery immediately, kicking the men who had carried their crewmate into the hall before they even had a chance to get more than a passing glimpse of the wound. Riku, his eyes somber, confided in Terra that Even had looked panicked as he ushered them all out of the room, already grabbing tools and herbs from jars and boxes lining the surgery walls.

Terra waited, still as a statue, just outside the room. A few of his crew had come at various times to try to tear him away, offering him food or drink or a chance to rest, but Terra refused them all.

Aqua. Why had Aqua done this? He was new to the crew, new to this life, just a child looking for adventure on the open seas. Truth be told, Terra saw a lot of himself in the boy, though they were probably rather close in age. He remembered, faintly, what he had been like when Eraqus had agreed to bring him aboard. He and Ven had both been children, barely old enough to lift a sword. No good in a fight. But Eraqus had taken them on, trained them in the ways of the sea. He’d taught them to read the stars and wield a sword, to fish for their meals and weather a storm. And yet, when Aqua had come to him to ask for the same, he had turned the boy away, treated him as a burden and nothing more.

How was he honoring his master’s memory?

And now here he was, waiting for news of a boy who had risked his very life to save Terra’s, though Terra felt he deserved it not at all.

Terra hated waiting.

He tapped his foot absently against the wooden beams of the floor, exhausted eyes staring without seeing at the surgery door as it slowly opened. Even stood behind it, wet to his elbows in blood. His once-cream linen shirt was stained dark, red already fading to brown in places. Even cleared his throat and Terra leapt up as if he had been burned. Even looked exhausted.

“How is he?” Terra asked, his voice low. Whether it was in reverence of the dead or reverence of the ill, he didn’t know.

Even sighed. “Better come inside and see for yourself.”

Terra was apprehensive about entering the man’s private space- he kept his surgery off limits except in truly dire situations where he had to bring dead men back to life- but acquiesced. Even did not look like he was in the mood for any sort of argument, and he was probably in possession or a fair few very sharp objects. Terra entered.

The room smelled overwhelmingly of blood, sharp and metallic. Beneath that, he could smell the wood fire Even used to clean things that needed to be cleaned, and the smell of herbs and bile. Aqua lay on the table, his shirt cut open to expose-

Terra turned away immediately, a blush rising to cover his face.

Even, even through his exhaustion, managed a slight smile as he closed the door behind them. “You see my problem.”

Terra scrubbed his face, feeling ever so slightly insane. “How did- I mean- he’s a woman?!”

Even shook his head. “Apparently so.” A slight tinge of humor slipped into his voice. “Do I need to cover her up, or can you control yourself, Captain?”

Terra flushed, but shook his head. “I’m a man, not a beast Even. I’ll be fine. How is she then?”

Even moved closer to the body, pulling back the cloth to expose a roughly sewn together patch of skin. “Well, she’s alive. It looks like the bullet didn’t manage to get deep enough to do any permanent damage. I managed to fish out the bullet and sew up the wound.” He sighed, moving to run a bloodstained hand through his hair before stopping himself. “Only time will tell if it was enough.”

Terra groaned. “Why would he- she think this was ever a good idea?” But even as Terra asked, he couldn’t help but remember the way he was as a child, watching the ships come in and out of his little portside home. He had been just the same, waiting for his chance. And when Eraqus had offered, he’d jumped for it with both hands.

Aqua joining his crew hadn’t been an accident. No, something like this would have required planning on his- her part. To buy men’s clothes, to hide her body, to cut her hair short and choppy… Everything she’d done had been for a reason. She found him in that tavern for a reason. She picked him for a reason.

Could he really blame her for chasing her own freedom on the ocean, just as he’d done?

Terra sighed and turned to Even, who seemed to be waiting for a decision of some sort from Terra.

“Don’t tell anyone what we’ve discovered,” Terra said. He ran a hand through his hair, mussing it further. “For all we know, he’s exactly what he claims to be.”

Even nodded, looking over Terra’s shoulder at the body lying on his table. “Understood, Captain.”

Terra looked back one last time, taking in the body lying motionless on the table, the slow rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. This woman had lied to him and his crew for months, pretending to be something she wasn’t, and yet she’d also risked her life for her captain, just like any of them would have.

But damn if she hadn’t made his life way more complicated.

He left, closing the door gently behind him and leaving Even to his work.

---

It took about a week for Aqua to recover enough for her to move around the ship with any sort of freedom. Even had manufactured her a sort of cane for her to use while hobbling around the ship. Most of the crew treated her like a sort of hero, going out of their way to ensure she was taken care of despite her protests. Terra couldn’t help but be proud of his crew as they banded together to take care of one of their own in every way they knew how. And yet, there was a part of Terra that could not forget that they had been lied to, that their whole relationship was built on a false foundation.

Aqua seemed to have no idea that Terra knew. In fact, Terra suspected Even already knew about her secret in the first place, which would explain why Aqua seemed so close with the old doctor. Terra spent most evenings that week weighing his options, debating with himself whether he would confront Aqua over the lie or allow her to continue to live her lie in peace. Both options seemed worth pursuing, with each having its own benefits.

One night, about two weeks after she had been injured, Aqua took the choice out of his hands.

She approached him over dinner, a little shaky without her cane for the first time in a couple of weeks, but steady enough on her feet. She stopped at his table and leaned close enough that Terra could feel her warm breath on his ear.

“Can I talk to you tonight, Terra?” she whispered. Terra wondered how he had never caught on to the lilt in her voice, the distinctly feminine sound in the way she said his name. Or maybe it was just him, hyper aware suddenly that she was a woman so close to him. He shook it off, instead choosing to slowly nod without looking away from his meal of fresh caught fish. Aqua sighed and continued on her way toward her usual table with Even, sitting across from him with only the slightest wince of pain. Even caught Terra’s eyes on their table and raised an eyebrow, forcing Terra to look away.

“You’re blushing,” Ven noted with a wry smile. Terra shook his head, turning toward Ven.

“You’re seeing things,” he responded. He ripped apart the fish on his place with a little more gusto than usual.

That evening, when watch had been set and the ship was quiet, there was a knock on Terra’s cabin door. He was unsurprised to see Aqua waiting outside his door. Silently, he stepped to the side and waved her in. Terra wasn’t the type to be self-conscious of his room- he kept it pretty neat all things considered, and most of the crew understood that when you lived most of your year in a small room on the sea, sometimes things happened- but something about Aqua’s eyes roving the room make him nervous. He’d seen her space. She’d cleaned and organized the storage room over her first month, sorting things in such a way that she had somehow ended up with more room than anyone save Terra and Ven. Her room was immaculate.

Terra swung the door closed behind her, swallowing down the nerves (because why on earth should he be nervous when she was the liar in the room?) and leaning against the wall.

“What did you want to talk about?”

Aqua fidgeted with her shirt. Terra was aware of how small she looked, despite her body showing the signs of months of manual labor. She looked so very different from the day when he’d picked her up by accident in that little port town. Her skin was sun weathered, covered in freckles and redness. Her hair was lightened by the sea breeze to the color of the sky on a clear, cloudless day. Her limbs showed the muscle of a crewman who had adjusted to the hard work of day to day life on a ship. Perhaps most importantly, though, was that when he looked at her, he saw the person who had risked their life to save his. She deserved his patience. She deserved a chance to explain herself.

He took a deep breath and centered himself.

“I wanted you to know the truth.”

Something in him exploded.

“The truth?” He asked, taking a step forward. Aqua swallowed nervously, taking a small step back. “You want to tell me the truth? This should be good. You lied your way onto my ship, and now you think I’m worthy of telling the truth to?” He took another step forward, forcing her to back up further. “You’ve pretended to be something you’re not for months, hiding it every step of your day from everyone you worked with, and now that you’re injured you’ve decided you don’t want to keep secrets. Is that it?!”

By this point, he had her backed into a wall, pressed between his body and the cold wood of the wall behind her. He could feel her breathing, rough from panic, and the way she leaned away from him, trying to shrink away. A small, vindictive part of him hoped she’d start crying. He didn’t know how he was supposed to feel about everything that had happened, about being saved from death by a girl he barely knew, about being lied to for months about the person he was starting to consider a friend. If she’d start crying, maybe he would be able to come to an easy conclusion. But she wasn’t going to start crying. She was going to meet his eyes, waiting for whatever punishment he would dole out to her.

Terra grit his teeth, his hands balling into fists before slamming into the wall on either side of her head. She flinched, just a bit, but stood steady.

“I saved your life,” she said softly, so softly Terra nearly missed it over the sound of the ocean outside. “I’ve never pretended to be anybody other than who I am.”

“You’ve lied!” Terra yelled, his face close to hers. How could she not understand? How did she not get that she had told them a lie, pretended to be a man when she was anything but?

“I never claimed to be a boy,” she said. “You all made that decision on your own. I simply allowed it.”

Terra bit his cheek, trying to swallow back the hurtful words threatening to bubble out. How could she stand like that, tall and proud? How was she not afraid of him?

“I should throw you off my ship at the nearest port for treason.”

Aqua tilted her chin up, the faintest smile of rebellion on her face. “You should. But you won’t.”

Terra slammed his fist into the wall next to his head, causing her to jump. “Not a word to another member of this crew,” he growled. “I won’t have you inciting a riot on my ship. When we pass by your island, you will be returning.”

Aqua’s face fell. Nothing Terra had said so far seemed to affect her, but this… this seemed to do it. “No, please. Terra, I don’t want to go back.”

“Well,” he replied, pushing away from the wall to give her space. “You should have thought of that before you used deception to gain access to my ship.

“I beat you fair and square,” she protested, “and I’ve saved your life!”

“And you clearly intend to hold that over my head forever,” Terra said, “though I don’t remember asking you to do so. My decision is final.” He opened the door to his room, looking back at her. “Your honesty is appreciated. It’s why I don’t throw you off of this ship right now.

Aqua looked at the door and outwards onto the deck and slowly shook her head. For the first time that evening, Terra could see fear in her eyes. “Please, sir,” she said quietly. Her voice wavered when she spoke. “Please don’t send me back.”

Terra eyed her, seeing again the scared boy he had once been when he had begged Eraqus for a space on his ship. When he blinked, though, he was again looking at the woman who had lied to him, tricked him and his crew into giving her a place in their hearts and home.

Was he mad at her betrayal? Or just that he’d been foolish enough to be tricked?

“Get out of my cabin, Aqua.”

Silently, her hands shaking, she walked past him and out into the darkness of the ship. Terra watched her until she vanished below deck toward her bunk before slamming the door with more force than he intended to, listening to the echo of the thud until it was forgotten by his memory. Terra threw himself down onto his bed and stared upward at the ceiling, contemplating just how his life had suddenly gotten so complicated, how he had ever ended up in this position, and resolutely not thinking about how soft and warm her body had been against his, pressed between his heat and the wall.

He wasn’t doing well at any of those things.

Terra hated himself for losing his cool like that, but what other choice had he really had? Who was she to wander into their lives and throw it on its head? Who was she, really, to throw herself in front of a bullet meant for Terra, to make him worry for her, only to let it be known that she wasn’t who she had claimed to be all this time?

Who was she to make him feel like this?

Terra rolled over, burying his face in the feather pillow, and sighed.

Who was she?

---

Terra saw very little of Aqua for the next few weeks. In the light of day, having had some time to calm down, he could see that he’d maybe taken things a little too far. He tried to find Aqua, to apologize for his reaction, but she seemed to be refusing to be found. He asked what felt like the whole ship, but nobody seemed to know where she was. Sora said she was learning cannon care with Lea. Lea claimed she was practicing her swordsmanship- swordswomanship?- with Riku. Riku said he saw her helping Even clean the surgery. Even saw her climbing the mast with Ven to check the rigging. It was like she didn’t exist, like she had vanished off of his boat.

It was, quite honestly, pissing Terra off.

First she had the audacity to save his life, and now he couldn’t even find her to apologise for his reaction?

(Terra refused to think about how a lot of his predicament might have been his fault. It was easier to concentrate on what Aqua had done to contribute to the situation.)

After a few days of fruitless hunting, he decided he needed to tell Ven. The whole crew didn’t need to know- who knew what their reaction might be?- but keeping things from Ven was harder than he’d expected. Ven, his right hand man, his first mate, deserved to know what was happening.

Terra was expecting a lot of things when he told Ven. Freaking out, anger maybe. But laughter was not on Terra’s list.

“Are you done yet?” Terra asked with a bit of annoyance, watching Ven chuckle to himself on Terra’s bed. Ven held up a finger, still laughing for a moment more, before finally calming down.

“I thought you were going to tell me something important, Terra.” Ven said, leaning back on the bed. “The whole crew’s known that for weeks now.”

“They’ve what?!” Terra exclaimed, nearly dropping the mug he was holding. “Who told them?!”

Ven shrugged, looking supremely unconcerned. “They pulled her shirt open to staunch the bleeding. Kind of hard to, well…” Ven blushed slightly, trailing off.

Terra stumbled for a moment mentally, trying to figure out how he should respond to this new information. “Why did nobody tell me?”

“Well,” Ven said, “you kind of have a track record of flying off the handle.”

Terra thought back to pinning Aqua against his cabin wall, yelling in her face, punching the wall behind her, and reluctantly acknowledged that maybe, just maybe the crew had a big of a point. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Ven shook his head. “It was Aqua’s secret to tell. After she saved your life, we were glad to keep it. She might be a lady, but she risked her life for you, after all.” Terra hated to hear the admiration in Ven’s voice.

“Ven,” Terra said. “I… may have made a mistake.”

“What else is new?”

Terra frowned. “I’m serious.”

Ven smiled. “We know.”

Terra looked at him for a moment ,confused, before it hit him. Everyone telling him that they’d seen Aqua places where she clearly hadn’t been. Which meant…

“Oh,” Terra said.

“Yeah. Oh.”

“I need to apologise, don’t I.”

Ven nodded, laying back with his arms over his head and staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know, Terra. Do you?”

Terra sighed. “Yeah. I do.”

Ven took a moment, staring up at the swaying lantern, before sitting up and looking over to Terra. “I’ll let her know that you’re ready to be reasonable.”

“Why am I not surprised that you had something to do with this?”

“Because you’re smart, Terra,” Ven replied, already halfway out the door. “It’s why you’re our captain.” He paused at the door to grin back at Terra, all sunshine and smiles. “Just try not to mess up this time, okay?”

Terra shook his head, a small smile on his face. “I’ll do my best.”

Ven laughed and vanished out the door. Terra took a seat at his desk and pulled some papers toward him, trying to look busy. He had no idea how long it would take for Ven to find Aqua, let alone convince her to come back to his room.

It took much less time than Terra had expected, honestly, before there was a soft knock on his door.

“Come in,” Terra called.

The door swung open slowly to reveal Aqua, looking defiant. Terra had worked with enough people to see the twinge of nervousness hidden behind her eyes. Still, Aqua held herself tall as she walked in, kicking the door closed behind her.

“Yes, sir?” Aqua asked as she threw herself down into the chair opposite Terra’s. “Here to threaten me with the plank again? Or maybe interested in yelling at me some more?”

Terra sighed, pushing the papers he was working on to the side and leaning across the table. “I’m sorry.”

Aqua’s eyebrows went up. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” Terra said, “for yelling at you. You didn’t deserve that.”

Aqua tugged on a loose thread of the chair she was sitting in, looking a little off-balance, like this wasn’t how she expected the conversation to go. “Um…”

Terra stood, moving around the table and kneeling in front of Aqua, bringing them nearly eye level. Aqua looked down at him, her eyes wide and so blue, and Terra was abruptly struck by the realization that she really was rather pretty, in a way. She wasn’t delicate by any means. The ocean had well taken any softness from her body and her face. But her eyes shone like sunlight on a calm ocean. Terra became aware of how dry his mouth was, forcing himself to swallow. Aqua’s eyes darted down before refocusing on his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Terra repeated, his voice low, “for the way that I’ve treated you these last few days. You saved my life. I don’t know what was happening on your island, but I know what it’s like to need to escape your life.” He moved closer, just a little, between her knees until his hands were resting on her clothed thighs. Aqua shivered at his touch, and Terra was uncomfortably aware of the way her leg felt beneath his hands, of the electric current he was imagining between them. It’s just because she’s a woman. There was nothing else to it.

Aqua licked her lips, and Terra wanted to do the same. He took a deep, steadying breath and focused again on her eyes.

“We won’t take you home,” he promised. Aqua inhaled sharply, her eyes lighting up, and Terra was quickly distracted by how beautiful she was when her eyes were full of light.

“You promise?” Aqua whispered.

“Promise,” Terra replied. “And I never go back on my word.”

There was a moment, a heartbeat where they stared at each other, eye to eye, and was she moving closer or was he? He could see the freckles across the bridge of her nose, the flecks of dark ocean blue in her eyes, and Terra thought for one fevered moment that she was going to kiss him before she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him to her chest. Terra panicked, his face pressed into her skin, before he realized she was shaking. He ripped his mind away from how close he was to her and wrapped his arms around her stomach. He wasn’t used to comforting girls, but it really couldn’t be much more different than comforting boys, right? She was still his crew. Just… with a couple of extra needs. He could handle that, right?

Right?

---

Wrong.

It was so much harder to deal with her now that everyone knew she was a she. Or rather, now that everyone was willing to admit that she was a she. Before, when Terra had been forced to look at her as a he, as a crewmate and nothing more, Terra could ignore the little things that unsettled him. He could ignore the curve of her lips when she smiled, or the way her clothing brushed along her curves. He could pretend he didn’t notice her eyes following him, that he wasn’t aware of the way she would challenge him when the others listened blindly.

When she was a boy, he couldn’t want her. Not so much because he had a problem with noticing a boy like that (for he was sure at least a couple of his crewmates saw each other in a similar light) but because he was worried of giving her away. He couldn’t like her as a boy because she wasn’t a boy.

But now? All bets were off.

Now, when she moved so gracefully through her day to day tasks, Terra was free to notice the way her muscles coiled as she pulled herself along the mast’s rigging. He could admire the way her chest shone with sweat over the top of her loose shirt as she lugged cannonballs from one side of the ship to the other under Lea’s ever-watchful eye. Now, when Aqua was allowed to be herself, Terra could look at her and want.

It was killing him.

He had never had anyone on his crew challenge him the way she did. He had grown used to his orders being obeyed without question, without hesitation. Now, though… Aqua was the first to call Terra out on his ideas, to question if he’d thought everything through. (He usually hadn’t.) She loved calling him out. It was infuriating. It was ridiculous.

It was hot.

Every time she did it, stepping up with those icy eyes, his mind flashed back to that night in his cabin, where he’d pinned her against the wall, felt her body pressed against his. Sometimes he felt like he might be burning alive.

One afternoon, about two weeks after they’d let the truth be what it was, their ship landed in port in another nameless town for a shore day. The whole crew loved shore days, taking any chance they could get to stand on solid ground and eat some fresh food. They were all men (and women, now) of the sea, but that didn’t mean they didn’t love a chance to feel some sand between their toes once in a while.

As the crew stormed the shore, cheering and waving their money pouches, calling to each other where they were going, Terra stopped Aqua from chasing after the rest of them. She looked confused, her short hair smoothed back by a bandana, her nose reddened from the sun, and Terra felt his heart constrict a little bit. It’s just because she’s a girl.

“Yes, captain?”

Terra rolled his eyes. “Oh, so now you call me captain. What happened to Terra?”

Aqua smiled, her eyes sparkling just a bit in the sunlight. “Figured I’d better be on my best behavior now that you’re letting us ashore, sir.”

Terra laughed, crossing his arms across his chest. “Watch yourself on shore, Aqua. Pretty girl like you?”

Aqua frowned, just for a moment, like a shadow crossing her face, before her original smile returned. “I think I’ll be fine. Beat you, didn’t I?”

“Ah,” Terra fumbled for a moment, realizing now what his comment might have sounded like. “I- I didn’t mean you couldn’t take care of yourself, I just, uh-”

But Aqua didn’t seem interested in an apology. Instead, she just gently patted his shoulder and strolled down the plank and into the shallows surrounding the little island. Terra watched her go until she was mostly out of sight, then sank down behind the railing of the ship and banged his head against the wood.

“Stupid idiot.”

Of course she would take that poorly. She’d hidden who she was to go sailing on a pirate ship, and the second she was allowed to be herself, Terra was throwing around the idea that she couldn’t handle a measly little port stop? She’d let herself be shot for heaven’s sake.

God, Terra was an idiot.

He sighed, staring at the deck for a moment, before taking a deep breath and heaving himself to his feet. This time he’d apologise to her properly. He wanted her to see that he didn’t think of her just as a pretty girl.

With that in mind, he headed down the gangplank and started the trek into town. How he would apologise to her, he didn’t know, but he’d be damned if he didn’t figure it out.

Except, he realized as he walked the streets of the small market, he had no idea what to get for a pirate lady he might have a not-so-tiny crush on.

He stared aimlessly at a booth of trinkets as the market bustled around him, taking in a tray of little necklaces and wreaths of flowers. What did you get a girl who was also a pirate? He usually got Ven new swords or training books. Sora loved candy- maybe he should buy her some candy? Isa enjoyed books, but Terra didn’t know if Aqua liked to read, or what kind of books she read if she did, so that seemed like a bad idea. Maybe he should just get her some flowers?

He shook his head, turning away from the booth and continuing up the road. No, he was trying to apologise, not court her. What in the world would a bouquet of roses get him, other than slapped?

As Terra was about to give up hope, a small booth set back from the road caught his eye. He paused, almost without thinking, to try to take note of whatever had caught his eye. The woman behind the counter smiled warmly at him, beckoning him closer. Terra, not wanting to seem rude, walked over.

“Good afternoon,” the woman greeted him. She seemed young, in her late twenties, in a loose-fitting pink dress. Flowers were woven throughout her brown hair, dyed blonde in places by the island sun. Terra murmured a greeting back.

“Can I help you find something?” the woman continued, still smiling that soft, warm smile. Terra shrugged.

“Probably not.”

“Well,” she said, “I can at least try? Sometimes all you need is an ear to hear.”

Terra almost said no, thanked her for her time and left, but something about her demeanor seemed to promise that she was genuine. And without thinking, he opened his mouth and let the whole story fall out. About the boy who beat him in an arm wrestling match he couldn’t remember. About his master’s death and how that same boy had saved Terra from the same fate. How the boy turned out to be a girl in disguise. How Terra had hurt her with harsh words and harsher actions. How he just wanted to make it up to her.

The woman listened patiently throughout his whole story, only pausing long enough to wave as a passerby or help somebody look through her inventory. When Terra had finally finished telling her what felt like his life’s story, the sun was beginning to set and the market was winding down, many of the vendors closing up for the day. Terra sighed at the sight of the setting sun. His day ashore was wasted, and his chances to find something to apologise to Aqua with were shrinking by the minute. Still, he noted with surprise, he did feel lighter after having told the stranger his story, like something had been expunged from him.

He attempted to apologise for taking up her time, but the girl just smiled.

“It was my pleasure,” she said as she began to pack up her own shop. “This might sound strange… but you remind me a lot of a boy I once knew.”

“Was he as much of an idiot as I am?” Terra asked. She laughed.

“Sometimes. But, much like you, he had his heart in the right place.” The woman reached under the table and pressed something into Terra’s open palm. “Now, here you go. For your lady friend.”

Terra tried to protest, tried to give her some of the gold in his pouch, but she would have none of it.

“Please,” she said every time he tried, “there are some things you can’t buy with gold. A heart like yours is one of them.”

After trying fruitlessly for a few more minutes to convince the woman to take his cold, Terra finally acquiesced and put the small item in his pocket.

“Thank you,” Terra said. “What’s your name?”

She smiled, handing him a small bouquet of flowers from the top of her stand before closing up the small stand for the night. “Oh. I’m Aerith.”

Terra shook her hand with a small smile. “Terra.”

“Well Terra,” she said as she slung a small bag over her shoulder. “Sounds to me like you have a ship to get back to, and an apology to present.” She waved at him and started down her path toward home. “Good luck!”

“Yeah,” Terra said, looking down at the bouquet of flowers he was holding. “I have a feeling I’ll need it.”

---

Terra was not the first to return to the ship that evening, but he definitely wasn’t the last. After grabbing a book, he settled himself on a thick crate in the storage room, waiting for Aqua to inevitably return to her bunk long enough for him to catch her. His plan was simple: wait for her to return, corner her, apologise, give gifts. Foolproof.

Of course, most foolproof plans aren’t.

Terra waited for an hour. At two, he was starting to get antsy. By three, he had finished his book and was fiddling with some broken netting he had found in a corner. After three and a half hours, he hauled himself off the crate, deciding to give up for the night. He’d just try again tomorrow. He started up the stairs, only to collide with Aqua who seemed to be paying no attention to her own walk down. Terra’s arms went around her without thinking in an attempt to keep them both from falling.

“Terra?” Aqua asked in confusion. “What are you doing in my room?”

“Ah,” Terra said. He was trying very hard to focus on her question. He was also failing. “Well, I was, uh…”

Aqua huffed, pushing at his hands. Terra let go, allowing her to take a step back.

“Well?” she asked.

“I, um, wanted to… apologise to you. For earlier. What I said.”

Aqua stopped, crossing her arms. “Okay?”

Terra fidgeted under her gaze, only to remember the thing in his pocket. “Yeah. I, uh, got you something. To apologise.”

“Really?” Aqua uncrossed her arms and took a step down. They were almost eye level like this. “What is it?”

“Well,” Terra began. “I’m not sure.” Aqua laughed incredulously.

“How do you not know what you bought?”

“I didn’t… buy it exactly.” Terra scratched the back of his neck. He hoped he didn’t look as helplessly clueless as he felt. “It was given to me.”

“Then cough it up,” Aqua said, holding a hand out expectantly. “Let me see the secret apology gift.”

Terra reached into his pocket, pulling out and depositing the small token into her hand. Whatever it was, it was wrapped in cream colored cloth. Aqua ran her fingers over the delicate material, taking in the lace edges, the softness of the silky fabric.

“A handkerchief?”

Terra cleared his throat. “I think you, um, unwrap it.”

Aqua slowly unwrapped the package, and two shimmering stars fell out of the package into her hands with the chiming of metal and glass. There, resting in the palm of her hands, were two stars: one blue like the oceans, the other red like a sunset. Between the two stars was a small piece of paper.

“What’s this?” Aqua asked, holding up the blue star. The candlelight in the room cast soft indigo stars on the wooden walls. Terra gently plucked the piece of paper from on top of the second star. When he flipped it over, he found delicate, curly handwriting.

“Something’s written here,” Terra said. Aqua lowered the small star, moving to his side so she could read over his shoulder.

To whomever receives this,

These small charms are called “wayfinders.” Where we come from, they’re given as a promise between people. They represent an unbreakable connection, the kind that is written in the stars. As long as you and the people you care about carry them, nothing will ever be able to tear you apart. Zack and I made these years ago, when we were young and in love. Now, we don’t need them anymore, so I wanted to pass them along to you.

I hope that they can do for you what they couldn’t do for us.

All my love,

Aerith.

Terra finished reading the note. From behind him, Aqua made a quiet sound that Terra couldn’t place. He turned to look at her, only to see that her eyes were shiny. She was staring down at the wayfinder in her hand.

“An unbreakable connection…” she whispered.

Terra reached out and gently placed his hand over hers, pressing the orange star between their palms.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry I insinuated that you couldn’t take care of yourself.” He pulled her closer, gently, giving her plenty of a chance to get away from him. “I’m sorry I’m no good at hearing what you have to say sometimes.” Aqua was looking up at him now, her eyelashes shiny in the candlelight, and Terra knew he was about to do something that they both might regret come the daylight, but here in the dimness of the supply room, he didn’t think he could stop himself. He didn’t think he wanted to.

“But I’m trying,” he said. “I’ve never had another person challenge me before, not like you do. I’ve never had to deal with someone so beautiful and capable at the same time.” He could see Aqua’s cheeks flush even in the low light. He hoped that was a good sign. His arms tightened around her waist as her hand slowly came up to rest at his shoulders, her fingertips tickling along the nape of his neck in a way that made his whole body feel warm.

“I’d like to keep trying,” he whispered. He could feel her breath on his lips. Her eyes were half closed. “If you’ll let me.”

There was a moment of silence. Then two. Three moments that felt like an eternity waiting there in that half-lit room, but Terra was going to let her make that last tiny step. He had crossed an ocean to reach her here. She could move the last few inches.

She sighed, soft and low, and brushed her lips against his. Her hands twined gently into the loose hairs at the base of his neck, pulling him down the last half an inch to press her lips fully against him with a soft little sound that might have been a moan, and Terra thought his whole body might go to flames as he tightened his hands on her hips and crushed her body to his.

They only kissed for a few moments, there in the darkened stairwell, surrounded by the sounds of the ocean and creaking wood, but for Terra it felt like a small eternity, hidden there in the heart of the ship with the stars pressed between their palms.

He could spend the rest of his life just like this.

When she pulled away, Terra missed her immediately. He fought off the urge to pull her back to his chest, to tilt her head back and kiss her until she was dizzy, and instead let her go. There was a small bit of him that was proud of the way she swayed on the step as he moved her hands down to her hips to steady them, his orange star still firmly in his grasp.

Aqua licked her lips, a little starstruck. Terra carefully stepped up until he was standing even with her, enjoying how small she felt in his arms and how much he knew that should would kick his ass for even thinking that.

“Not to be forward,” Terra murmured once Aqua seemed to have recovered, “but if you’d like to stay in a real bed for the evening… I could probably make space for two.”

Aqua swallowed. Terra wondered if she could see what he was thinking in his eyes. He hoped she did. He hoped she knew what he was offering. He hoped she said yes.

After a moment, her shock faded, only to be replaced by a wry smile Terra knew too well.

“Well, captain,” she said, already moving to grab his wrist. WIth a gentle tug, she started leading the way upstairs. “Who am I to say no?

#wandering light

Trending Tags

Recently Viewed Tags

#wandering light