So what do you think about Dean blaming Sam for the reason why he doesn't have a mother? Yeah, Dean was a demon BUT it was still Dean's soul, just twisty and maybe telling the truth about how Dean feels. Do you think Dean really believes that Sam is the only reason why Mary died?
*squint* I’m having a really hard time not looking at this as a troll ask, given the context of today.
The whole context of that interaction in 10.03 was Dean trying not to be made human again. He starts with an attempt to garner sympathy and then moves to attack Sam. He goes for what hurts most at every opportunity in that episode. He brings up Sam’s arc from s1/2/3/(GEE THE ENTIRE SHOW) of “am I human or am I some kind of Freak?” and flings it into his face. He brings up Sam’s continuous self blame (hello s8) and uses it against him. He even blames Sam for his own (presumed, future) demise: “it’s your fault I got free. Your fault I’m here in the first place.” He even dangles communication in front of Sam at the end, “let’s have a beer, talk about it!”
I’m still astonished that was actually a Bucklemming episode.
Demon!Dean knew Sam and used that knowledge maliciously. I really hope you didn’t come here expecting me to defend Demon Dean. Demon or not, brother or not, he ended up shredding into every vulnerable point Sam had. The Winchester “walking wounded” model where nothing ever gets discussed or given closure because “hey, we can ‘function’ like this” continues to vex me.
(Also see the handy dandy “antagonists” checklist, wherein characters are expected to work counter to the protagonist and generally inflict damage and not be forgiven for it unless a) dead or b) given a redemption arc.)
As for the main point of the question; no, I don’t think real!Dean actually believes that Sam is the only reason Mary died. Has the thought occurred to him? Probably.
Human beings aren’t logical creatures. We’re emotional.
Someone cuts us off in traffic, we assume malice and we assign blame. Someone comes into my askbox right after someone else tries to piss me off, I assume malice and assign blame.
The fact comes out that everything that happened to Mary, to John, to Sam, and to Dean is all wrapped up around your little brother? The thought of “well it’s all his fault” crops up. They’re called intrusive thoughts. Don’t think of the purple elephant.
Our minds are built in a way that, once an inkling of a thought occurs, the rest of it will follow. Those thoughts can be cruel, racist, sexist, degrading, selfish… and if you don’t know that intrusive thoughts are normal, they can be a huge source of guilt.
We know that Sam’s blamed himself for Azazel, for Mary’s death. It’s come up where Dean’s probably thought of it, too. And, as per the previous paragraph, if he has no context for hey these thoughts are normal, they aren’t real, they’re also a source of guilt. Something Demon!Dean can use against “the other guy,” and against Sam. But that doesn’t mean that Dean believes it, any more than Sam believes it (at least, by the time we get to s10). Intrusive thoughts, the first instinctive reaction, what our brains put together on knee-jerk reaction mode, is not what our character is.
Hence why I’m answering this ask.
Even when Dean was at his worst towards Sam (e.g. s4 finale, s8, esp. finale), and even towards himself and John, assigning blame for Mary’s death on family members isn’t a line he crosses. Every other sucker punch he pulls on Sam in Sacrifice, they’re all based on actions taken. Not on the fact that Sam was a target and a victim. He does, however, repeatedly put the blame on the demons, and there’s some implications of hostility towards the angelkin for setting up the whole situation. And knowing Dean, he also probably blames himself for not stopping the fire, or the deal in s4, or for not preventing his own birth in s5.
tl;dr Demon!Dean was purposefully using every tool at his disposal to hurt Sam, the thought may have occurred to him, but the list of people that Dean actually blames for Mary’s death is a few pages long and also includes Dean himself.
