#wanted actually

[shrillvoices]

Mudd poetry inspired by my best mutual @doctorwyvern <3 (Inspiration; 1 2 3 )

Spoilers for Mudd's arc (and some awful first time poetry lmao)

He looks real,

He feels real,

He talks just as I remember-

How could this be fake?

How could I simply be imagining things?

Is my mind truly that cruel?

How could this part of my life,

This piece of my world,

This precious person,

Simply be a lie?

What is there to gain?

My wilting soul twists,

My troubled thoughts race.

My own mind turned against me-

A roaring animal

Towering over me

Taunting me with dull eyes,

And pretend feelings.

Claws digging into my soul,

Plucking my heartstrings out of my chest,

As if they were delicate flower petals.

Questions line my tattered thoughts

Guarded walls,

choking me with crumbling stone and chalk clouded air.

Am I real?

How do I know who to trust anymore?

Maybe this is all just one big game,

A prank played on me?

There's a chance,

It's fake,

Just as there's

A chance

It's real.

My hands,

My ears,

My nose,

My eyes,

They all feel real,

Feel like me.

Theres a chance, i think,

An anxious beast in my brain

Telling me that my body is fake.

That I'll wake up

And never have existed.

Is this how he feels?

Stuck between the nothingness of imagination

And an endless worry?

Would moving on be too cruel?

Give up his name and forsake his memory?

Should I wipe his tangerine fur

And bright amber eyes

From my mind?

My memory?

Should I truly forget?

Let go?

Would he be hurt,

If he was here?

Watching me lay

Staring at the ceiling,

Real and alive?

[pretty-writing-things]

Part One - The Beginning (Alt Title: F*** Love) 

Tw’s: Mention of Drinking, Mention of death. Notes :: It’s my first time really writing Whump. And YOU are allowed to hate it! Just tell me why :) It would actually be appreciated. I like to fancy myself a writer but honestly hate just about everything I do for a very long time.

Also I’ve decided that a song for this story is Uh Oh by Neoni and/or Hell to Have You by Our Last Night though that’s not as accurate. I am obsessed with those songs. 

Next Chapter

Maine’s life had never been perfect. 

Since the moment she had been born she was only loved by her mother, but her father loved her mother so he had tolerated her. 

Her mom died when she was ten. 

Her dad had lost the love of his life and turned to drinking, forgetting Maine existed entirely.  She learned to grow up pretty fast. She took care of both her dad and herself. She got a job as early as she possibly could. 

Her life hadn’t had the best start, but as of late things were looking up. She was 23 now. Her dad had died, and she was done morning him. She had saved up enough money to enroll herself in a collage class for Musical Arts to further her talent with her Violin.   

She even had a few friends! 

She let the streak of black in her blonde hair fade, as the darkness in her life left. No longer feeling the need to keep coloring it. 

She was even 90% sure that there was a boy in her class who kept looking at her, and her friend Cara kept saying he was interested in her. 

“Look at him! That’s the third time today I’ve caught him looking at you like that. And look at him, really look at him. Do you see that hair? And those eyes, God he’s perfect.” She whispered to Maine as they walked down the hall. 

“If you like him so much why don’t you date him.” Maine remarked, but as she watched him from the corner of her eye, she couldn’t help but realize Cara was 100% correct. 

“Because everyone loves him! I wouldn’t have chance.” She shook her head, disappointingly. “But he keeps paying attention to you. Listen girl, if he talks to you, you’d better not do the thing you do where you shut people down as fast as you can, no one word replies!” 

“That’s my nature Cara, you can’t just change that. I don’t trust people most of them are lying, cheating idiots. Except you. ..And maybe him. Shit, you’re right he’s amazing.” 

“Hey, don’t be so harsh, some of my friends aren’t lying cheating idiots.” 

“Some of them?” 

“Yeahhhh, well I have a lot of them and honestly some of them seem a little sketchy. Maine, come on! I could have any date I wanted honestly, meanwhile you, no offense, are a bit of a mess. He likes you, I’m sure of it. Take the chance!” She grinned, a grin that faded as she saw the clock. “Argh, I’m almost late for work. I’ll see you later.” She sighed, hurrying off. 

Maine smiled. She had only known Cara for two weeks but she was already an amazing friend. And quite honestly an amazing person. 

“Hey.” A voice from behind her made her jump, she spun around and it was.. him. “Ahh, sorry, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. I couldn’t help but overhear... your friend talks loud.” 

“Yes.” Maine turned to watch Cara vanish around the corner, glaring at her back. Then turned back to him, with a false smile. “She does. Listen, so I myself have some places to be soon, and I would like to drop this off at home before-” 

“So maybe I can talk to you another time?” He interrupted. 

She stared at him for a long moment. Then nodded slowly. “Yeah... Um, if that’s what you want.” 

“I would very much like to. My name is Missouri. Here,” He grabbed his notebook from his bag, scribbled something on a page then handed the paper to her. “Call me sometime maybe?” 

He smiled, and oh God that smile was intoxicating. She nodded quicker this time, managing to collect herself. “Yeah. I think I will.” She folded the page, and tucked it into her pocket. 

“I look forward to it.” He waved. “See you soon... Maine, was it?” At her nod, he smiled once more and walked away.

She stood very still for a moment, gathering her thoughts.

Fuck. 

After her mom had died and seeing her father the way she was.. she had made a promise. One she had just broken. 

She had fallen in love. 

[de-emma]

Thinking about making a writing account on Instagram 🙈🙊 I feel like I'll commit more to that than the writing blog I have. What do you guys think? Would you be willing to follow it and promote it, maybe?