#ward reread

[chicanery-dubious]

just finished reading the conversation with houndstooth about kenzie and its like. fascinating how kenzie is seen by people

one of houndstooths earliest questions is "did she touch any of you before she came here". like holy shit. houndstooth seems like a decently nice guy so imagine how fucked up of an experience he had with kenzie for that to be the first thing he asked when they started talking about her. shes a living panopticon who *needs* you to like her

ashley fiercely defends kenzie throughout, getting pissed (justifiably) when houndstooth minimises her to metaphors and what shes capable of and not acknowledging that she is an *eleven year old girl*. we really love the sisterly dynamic between the two of them

victoria obviously doesnt know the exact details of kenzies history, so she listens and asks for advice on how to care for kenzie, but notices things which she doesnt know, like how houndstooth is assuming she is in foster care still?

kenzie viewing what houndstooth said as embarrassing and thanking victoria for sharing what houndstooth said about her.

and the audience has all the little, strangely off tone comments kenzie makes to think back on. the way she talks about her parents (and to them) as if shes in charge and even when kenzie asks why rain would need to turn off a camera of hers.

basically kenzie is absolutely fascinating and maybe the most fucked up member of the team despite being one of the nicest

[theaudientvoid]

Victoria's Shard: Best girl. Strong. Invulnerable. Loved and feared by all.

Carol's Shard: lol wouldn't be funny if I gave her a power that requires her to retraumatize herself every time she uses it? subtlety is for cowards.

[weareallfromearth]

So like, I recognise all the things Tristan did wrong, I truly do. I recognise that the essence and aim of the Byron/Tristan arc, successfully executed imo, is to portray two people with very different but essentially human and somewhat reasonable personalities and ideologies who just shouldn’t be stuck together and are likely to always rub each other the wrong way, and to capture the particular frustrations of twins who are excessively compared and contrasted with one another. The subjectivity is the point.

But also.

Byron, who sees himself as the unassuming and nonthreatening one, the one incapable of asserting himself or making a splash in the world or winning people over to his side, is, in fact, usually the one initiating physical violence upon Tristan first. Byron’s the one who chokes Tristan out in an argument, and somehow expects Tristan to think clearly enough to tap out while Tristan is genuinely halfway to dead of oxygen deprivation and then has the gall to be angry and surprised that Tristan physically fights back and does so in a wounding way. Byron’s the one engaging in self-harm that is also, by virtue of their Case 70 situation, directly physically felt and impossible to guard against or physically resist by Tristan (and which happens to echo the way Tristan stabs Byron).

Byron is the one essentially refusing to meaningfully participate in group therapy, even years after complaining that he never got a fair hearing in the individual therapy offered by Reach because Tristan took up too much time. Byron’s the one who, when given the opportunity to speak up for himself to others who let him down or leave him behind, repeatedly chooses to stay silent about it and pretend things are fine by him.

Byron’s the one holding actual hatred in his heart toward Tristan rather than Tristan’s frustration or irritation.

It’s a rigorous portrait of a self-defeating character who just happens to spend all his time first socially and then physically tied to his own walking Chad meme. I feel like I recognise him from people in the early stages on r/IncelExit when they aren’t yet quite ready to change.

What I’m saying is Tristan was incredibly wrong to do all that, but I would also be going mad living inside Byron half the time.

[weareallfromearth]

It’s such a treat to read someone who understands therapy writing therapy.

Like, how often do I get to read an empathic disconnect between a client and their new therapist, arising particularly because of a sudden rupture of the prior therapeutic relationship where the prior therapist was beloved, trusted and idealised and the rupture was totally circumstantial with no flaw in the therapy? And the new therapist is arguably doing a reasonably decent job but is excessively guessing and genericising his approach to a more typical incident-based trauma and undervaluing the strengths and degree of nous/experience the client holds?

With the benefit of now a number of years of experience rapidly establishing rapport, it is exciting to be able to identify what I think Dr Darnall should have tried:

“What did you like about the way your last therapist approached work with you? What should I know about you to work well with you?”

[faultlinesurfer]

Ward reread update, finished Daybreak yesterday and: